GabsOSteel

hi again

2012-01-23T18:51:00.004-06:00

you know it's been a while since you've last blogged when you can't even remember your login info. that's embarrassing.

so... i remember this being really easy to do. and now i just feel really awkward like people are going to read this and know how awkward i actually am, except they probably already do, so i guess that makes it ok.

something dawned on me recently, and i have to admit, it kinda threw me for a loop. and then i was shocked that it threw me for a loop since it's kind of a no-brainer. see, upon my last trip home, i finally realized that things change when you leave. the logical (i.e. ignored) part of my brain knew this would happen, and it was one of the reasons leaving buffalo was so hard, but the irrational (loudest) part of my brain said that things, on some level, would always be the same.

that's not true.

i'm sure every person believes they're the protagonist in their own lives and is an essential supporting character in the lives of others. i readily admit i'm more narcissistic than is probably good for me, but i don't think i'm alone in thinking that. which is why it feels like a jug of gatorade was just dumped on my head (only without the elation of winning a game - hurray for sports references i don't really get!) when it finally sunk in that THE LIVES OF OTHERS CONTINUED TO CHANGE WHEN I WASN'T AROUND.

shocking, i know.

the only thing that makes me feel slightly less sheepish for being so self-centered is that when i've talked to other friends who've moved away, they had the same reaction. "you can't go home again" because you won't find the same home you left behind. it doesn't mean it's a worse home, but it does mean i need to be less self-centered. and it probably wouldn't hurt to spend some time seeing what the other protagonists have been up to.

NIN FAQs

2009-08-31T18:35:00.002-05:00

i recently had the extremely wonderful opportunity to make up for the last several many years by attending two fan-effing-tastic NIN's shows. their last two ever in chicago. and it was amazing. worth every penny i paid to the ticket pimps on eBay and made me regret even more not just going by myself in years past when no one wanted to go with me. even made me regret not rearranging my vacation schedule on occasion so i could have gone. but really, enough with the not-good-enough excuses. i went, i rocked out, and i accidentally punched the guy behind me in the nose, which i felt bad about until i realized he liked it, and then i just felt weird.

while in the midst of enjoying the performances, i found myself pondering certain questions over and over, or at least once. and while i could probably find the answers online, that would take some of the mystery out of it. so, with no more unnecessary build-up, i present you with the ten questions i would ask trent reznor myself, if i was ever granted an audience with him and retained the ability to form syllables (cause he surely did not come to the window when i screamed his name or when i told peter murphy to go and get him, not that i would have been able to do much more than say "hi" anyway, and probably ask question #9).

did you tour with that crap band jane's addiction solely so you could have a tour called NIN/JA? cause while that's a pretty great name for a tour, you don't have to invite people to open for you just cause they invite you to their festival.
speaking of crap bands, by all accounts you seem way more business-savvy than your average MBA. what's with opening bands that confuse your audience they're so unlike NIN? is it so that way we're lulled into a comatose state and don't storm the stage when you walk out? if so, well played.
why are so many of your fans mouth-breathers?
i nominated and my friends seconded and thirded that you are, indeed, the sexiest tambourine player ever. how do you feel about that? and feel free to add that title to your business card.
when recording albums you play all instruments except for the drums. is it weird to go on tour and have someone else play your songs? especially since you're right there!
what's your favorite song to play?
what's the song that you'd rather beat your head against the drum kit than play it one more time, but you play it anyway cause the fans love the fuck out of it?
did you design the kick ass light show? please understand that i'm going to assume that if you can play 87 instruments that you also know how to arrange lekos, fresnels, etc. and program a light board to provide the most severe cornea burns allowed in the continental US.
who's your favorite superhero and why?
i'm real sorry i didn't make it to more of your concerts. it was totally me, not you. we still cool?

i want my mommy

2009-08-24T15:24:00.002-05:00

this feels so... weird. i can't believe i last posted on 3/17.

allow me to get this out of the way - i hate buying strawberries. they go bad too quickly. the fact that you're forced to eat them within five minutes of them being delivered takes all the joy out of eating them when you want to.

also, this nose surgery better work because i'm in some serious pain. sometimes it's the kind of pain that makes you want to cry, but you can't cause that'll make it hurt more, but normally it's just the kind of pain that leaves you slightly dizzy and thinking that something important is now dislodged and perhaps that sneezing was a very poor idea, not that you had much choice in the matter. i had the first type all last night (so badly i went to bed instead of watching "mad men" but my roommate is fantastic and recorded it for me) and the second type this morning and the rest of the day, which caused me to call in sick to work and watch "mad men at 9:30 in the morning.

and when "mad men" was finished and the pain was shifting back to the stabbity clomping (think getting stabbed but in a large area all at the same time, which, i realize, is impossible) of last night's pain, i, against my much better judgment, started to cry.

allow me to break it down for you - i wanted my mommy. it was just that simple. i was in pain and wanted someone to hold my hand and tell me it would be ok and offer to kick someone's ass (in this case, the surgeon who did this to her baby) for putting me in pain, even if i did ask for it.

so i called my mommy at 10:30 in the morning (almost noon her time) and have never before been so thankful that my mom works 3rd shift and was therefore home and awake to answer my call. she was happy for the distraction as apparently sometimes kitchen walls need to be washed and that's what she was doing. and quickly the conversation turned from my nose to if i was a fool to move to chicago.

didn't see that one coming, did ya?

now, as i'm sure everyone who's ever met me, even briefly, has figured out, my mom can piss me off faster than anyone else i know. there are buttons i have that only she can push, and she doesn't even need to push, she can just exhale slowly in their direction and that's it, i'm done for. but i have never doubted how much she loves me and how proud she is of me. so as i laid on my couch, wishing i was allowed to blow my nose, my mom told me how proud she is of me that i didn't let something silly like "fears" or "worries" stop me from moving away and that no, i was not a bad daughter/sister/granddaughter/niece for leaving home and that i wasn't missing anything. and that it's ok that to be lonely, but that i'm good and what i did was good. and that the puppy isn't so much a puppy as she is a beaver so i need to be careful that i don't fall through the porch steps next time i'm home.

my mom is weird, but she somehow managed to make me simultaneously cheerful and even more homesick all at once.

so once i got over the homesickness, i decided to get a new issue to worry about on the couch, a much more difficult one that not even darvocet can dilute, and that is "what do i want out of life?"

nothing like a little light thinking on a sick day, right?

well, here's part of what i want - i want to share my life with someone. a partner, if you will. i'm not interested in rehashing my past relationships, but i'd like to try something 50/50. give and get. grow together, learn from each other, and possibly get some goddamn jewelry out of the deal. but i regress, i want to go to the zoo with someone and then go home at night and laugh about how cute the meerkats are while we're curled up on the couch watching something inane. and if that zoo is in london or san diego, even better. i'd like my non-existant man to have been bitten by the travel bug.

so, great, i want emotional attachment and enrichment. that's not really something that falls into the "throw money at it until the problem disappears" category, which is really the only category i'm good for, so i'm going to have to work on other things in the meantime. like the part where i want to do something meaningful with my life. and, i feel kinda like this is wimping out, but the peace corps isn't gonna be it for me. it's the 27 months and not being able to fly home for cheaps on southwest. my grandparents are healthy, thank the powers that be, but i would never forgive myself if that changed and i wasn't able to be there. so, as much as i'd like to be that giving, i can't. or i won't. either way, i'm respectfully/ashamedly bowing out of that arena.

but i still really need to do something worthwhile. i went to the zoo yesterday (yeah, yesterday my head was freaking fine - wtf?!) and was jealous of the woman who scraped the bird poop off the bottom of the bird exhibits. i hate poop and i hate scraping but i wanted to be her. or i wanted to be the minimum wage person who cut up the bird food. apparently only birds are tended to on sundays.

i think i need to do some charity work. i don't get the kind of fulfillment that i'm looking for from my job, and i don't think i ever will. it's not that kind of job. and most jobs aren't fulfilling, which is why people do charity work, at least i think that's why some of them do. well, as luck would have it, my CEO is on the chicago 2016 board. ya know, the olympics might be coming here in 7 years and that's really awesome as chicago won the bid for the US. and i've always been a fan of the olympics. i'm not much of a sports person at all but i contend that it is an international cultural phenomenon. it brings people, nay countries, whole damn hemispheres together! and they're looking for volunteers.

so, this is my plan. i will tell my CEO that i would be thrilled and honored to be involved in the 2016 project. i will have found some meaningfulness and feelings of do-goodery for my life. i will stop being childish and hating my job for what it's not, instead of liking it for what it is. i will continue to try new things in this beautiful city i live in since moving here was a good thing.

and i will blog more cause i have to tell ya, writing all this out felt freaking great!

yep

2009-03-17T21:18:00.002-05:00

i do enjoy a holiday dedicated to the color green, beer and green beer. in honor of this holiday, i wore green to every work day (and some non-work days) during the month of march. only one person noticed. weak.

since i couldn't make it to 44, i went to my favorite chicago pub and had some harp. and i had the best chicken fingers (they call 'em strips out here) that they have out here. in fact, i dare say, they rival jim's. don't believe me? come and visit and i'll show ya. i'm sure as heck not gonna take you to a yucky pizza joint.

oh, and i also learned how to pour a perfect pint of guinness. all in all, pretty productive, i'd say.

crap

2009-03-16T21:24:00.002-05:00

i went to the doctor's today. a holistic doctor. who told me that all of my problems are caused by the fact that i eat crap, crap, crap all day long. apparently, the crap i eat feeds the yeast in my gut which raises insulin levels which means that progestrin doesn't get made which means i feel like crap.

so, for the next 6 weeks, all i can eat is raw nuts and berries. like, seriously. i can also have veggies and other fruits and 13 8 oz. glasses of water a day. and acupuncture to help me deal with the fact that detoxing my body is going to feel like i have the flu and a hangover and am dying from e.bola and other crap. mostly, i think i'm going to die from the lack of beef, beer and bread. grain free is NOT the way to be.

but! when this is all over, i should be healthier, less reliant on "better living through chemistry" aka all those legal drugs i take and have a slamming body. i mean, pochahontas looked pretty good in her leggings and god knows she was eating nuts and berries like they were going out of style. then again, so do bears, and they're kinda fat asses. crap.

oh man

2009-03-15T22:44:00.002-05:00

i really didn't think i was going to make it today. i woke up with the worst hangover that i've had in nearly a year. so yeah, just like last year, i didn't make it to the southside parade. by no means do i regret dancing to some really good music last night and having some good ol' fun, but i was going to cry if Patty had come downstairs and said, "aren't you ready yet?!" luckily, she thinking the same thing, except i would have had to go upstairs, and she was mostly asleep.

umm, then i had some food and put some laundry away and watched some movies. yep, day two of blogging is real exciting stuff.

i took monday off of work with the thought that i may need to nurse a hangover on monday, but instead i think i'm going to just wander around the city (it's going to be 60 out!) and meet different people for lunch and then go to a doctor's appt in the late afternoon where i'll hopefully find out why i keep getting sick all the time again. maybe i really do just need to have my nose taken apart and put back together every couple years. and no, i'm not linking to those pics, so relax.

close call

2009-03-14T19:59:00.002-05:00

i was going to attend the river dyeing this morning, but decided to be hungover instead. patty made the same decision, so it wasn't a big deal, or so i thought. then we went downtown and the river was not green. i mean, it's always green, but it wasn't holiday green. i got really nervous - i mean, did they decide to not bother dyeing the river since i didn't show?

but don't worry, they story has a happy ending - we walked further east and the river was toxic sludge green. i just didn't realize how slow the chicago river's currents are.

happy drunk weekend!

oh, it's on.

2009-03-02T20:46:00.002-06:00

ahem

2009-02-16T20:19:00.002-06:00

dear fellow bloggers,

i apologize for my lack of blogging as of late. it's not that i've forgotten you, or haven't wanted to, but i just haven't had anything worthwhile to say, or the ability to say unworthwhile things in an interesting way.

unfortunately, i think this trend is going to continue. why? because today, i finally fulfilled a life-long (actually, 2 years) dream of mine. i finally found a wii available for purchase. today was the first time i went to target without writing "wii" on my list and sweet jesus, it was there. i carried that thing through the store for the rest of the trip like it was my baby, cause it is. it's a pretty hefty baby, too, i have to tell you.

so, yep, today is the happiest day of my life. this by no means is to say that my previous days weren't joy-filled, cause they sure as heck were, but it's always nice when you finally get what you want after years of waiting, even if you have to pay stupid amounts for it.

so, yeah, if you want to know what i've been up to, buy a wii and then we can talk about it while we go fishing online.

awesome.

tick tock

2009-01-20T21:06:00.000-06:00

I want kids. I’ve had a sneaking suspicion that this was the case for some time now, but this weekend really proved it to me. The Wickhams came to visit and they have the cutest almost-3 year old I’ve ever had the privilege of hanging out with. Maybe it was the way she curled up in my arms, or the way she said “I duve you” before walking over to the wall to examine my collection of fish-related art work one more time. Even when she was screaming, I loved her. I asked my new roomie if we could get one, but she said we should probably try a dog first. She’s so smart.

So, yeah, my dating life is probably not going to improve anytime soon. I’ll try really hard to not be one of those psychos who’s all like, “Give me a baby now!” but we all know how good I am at playing it cool. (I flunked that class in case you didn’t know).

Speaking of things that are cool, I need to give some serious props to new roomie Patty. Not only did she help me pack, but she also painted my bedroom for me. I tried to express my gratitude by buying her dinner and giving her a shoutout on Facebook, but I’m not sure that really conveyed the totality of my appreciation. The funny thing is that we didn’t have anything to stand on, so there’s still a border of TigetBeat and Unicorn pink along the top of my walls. Maybe I’ll finish it or maybe I’ll just leave it. I’m pretty short so it’s not like I look at the tops of my walls that often anyway.

My new ‘hood goes by the name of Lincoln Square. Once the tundra gives way to some greenery it’ll be tons o’ fun to walk around and visit all the little stores and restaurants and pubs and bars and other places that serve libations. Until then, I’m just ecstatic that I live across the street from the “L” (even though my station is technically at ground level) and rarely have to go outside for anything. Which is pretty much the crux of my problem. See, I am far too content to stay home and watch TV, or go to a bar and only talk to people I already know. And then I wonder why I don’t have as many friends here as I do in b-lo. Granted, I am ridiculously picky when it comes to choosing people worthy of my time, but there has to be a way for an elitist like me to meet some more acceptable folk. Who hopefully have cute, single male friends who want kids, too.

new favorite hobby

2008-12-16T19:12:00.003-06:00

i love googling missed calls that don't leave messages. although, sometimes, the results are shocking.

i just missed a call from curves.

it's like they knew, that for the briefest of moments today, i thought about joining in a manner that was slightly less sarcastic than usual.

well, there's no way i'm joining their creepy, telepathic gym now. that'll teach 'em.

resting on my laurels

2008-12-14T20:13:00.002-06:00

haven't felt much of a need to blog ever since the humanist finally came to his senses and realized i am the better blogger. but really, trying to compare him and i is like trying to compare stephen king and jane austen; except that i'm not sure i'd really want to be either of those. i guess it'd be safer to say that we're like the proverbial apple and orange: both terrific, just depends on what you have a taste for.

i had a whole bunch of stuff to talk about, but i've completely forgot what all of it was over the last month. sorry 'bout that.

i'll do better next time, former scouts honor.

in brief

2008-11-16T21:24:00.003-06:00

watched a bunch of movies lately. here's what i have to say:

the professional - got milk?

speed racer - if NASCAR was as cool as the WRL i'd become a redneck right now.

indiana jones and the skull made out of crystal in a temple - aliens? really? did you really need to bring aliens into it?

batman: gotham knight - kinda like the animatrix, except that the live-action film that follows it doesn't suck.

get smart - oh steve carrell, you're so cute and silly!

did i mention i have this horrible habit of feeling horrible on the weekends? it means i'm great at going to work and gives me lots of time to watch movies on the weekends. livin' the american dream people - that's me.

haven't done this in a while

2008-11-12T22:24:00.004-06:00

have you missed the long, rambling, incredibly emotional posts? yeah, me too.

i can't believe prop 8 passed. i can't tell if i want to throw up or throw my laptop out the window. actually, if i did that, i probably would throw up after. i would never hurt you, baby.

in answer to your question, yeah, i am for realz on the whole peace corps thing. just like that very emotional msnbc man who said in video what i feebly attempt to say via blogging, i'm disgusted, nay, repulsed with my fellow americans right now. i don't know many gay people, and i certainly don't know their tales of hardship, but i still feel it is everyone's right to marry. i don't need first or second hand knowledge or desires or experiences to know that everyone should have that choice. i hope i never have to make the choice and don't know what i would choose if i did, but i still think all women should be able to have abortions. i just don't know what makes someone think it's so wrong to have choices. to decide for themselves what will make them happy. give their lives meaning. make them feel whole.

i'll tell you something, you faceless masses, that i never told anyone. one of the things that started my disenchantment with the roz had nothing to do with being accused of stealing, or being "underpaid and overworked" or any of that other crap. it was when the state announced that they were extending insurance benefits in a slightly better way to homosexual couples and my "mentor," the woman i looked up to and who in many ways was like my office mother for years, was offended by this. didn't think they deserved benefits at all. it wasn't the way god wanted us to live.

i let it slide when she looked down on me for living with my boyfriend when i wasn't married. a bit old school for my tastes, but i didn't hold it against her.

that day when i saw the horror in her eyes that "the gays" were getting treated almost like equals, i lost all respect for her. gone. here was a woman who be her own admission had gone through a terrible divorce and had first hand knowledge that not even all bible-approved marriages work, and she still thought that two guys or two gals didn't deserve the same choice. her broken marriage had more credibility than their potential ones.

let me tell ya, training was a real joy for me after that. she had a lot to teach me, but none of it seemed important.

where was i going with this? oh, right, the peace corps. i have some very selfish reasons for applying, which i'm sure we'll get to in subsequent posts, in addition to the whole "no matter how hard you try to assimilate there's a good chance you still may get sexually assaulted by the very people you're trying to help" warning that's at the very top of the webpage. yeah, we might have 3 or 5 dozen posts on that.

but, essentially, altruistic or not, my goal is this - to fucking make a difference. idealistic? yes. doable? oh fuck yeah. going to china or kenya or some country i've never heard of (i bet there's a lot of those) won't help gay americans marry, but it'll help. someone with something. that's really all i'm going for here.

and if i meet a homophobic californian they better hope to their narrow-minded, pathetic god* that my kick-boxing skills have worn off.

*i don't think all gods are pathetic - just the ones stupid people do stupid things in the name of.

getting both feet wet.

2008-11-08T23:13:00.003-06:00

i could've gone out tonight. i thought about it. considered it. picked out what i was going to wear and contemplated which lipstick would best match the shirt and make me look darling at the same time.

but, as you can probably tell, i decided against it.

i didn't feel like going to a bar or club or lounge and talking about things that don't matter while drinking someone else's idea of a good martini. (you want to know what sucks about chicago - no one knows how to make a good drink and they all make up for it by charging twice as much. yeah, that logic doesn't make sense to me either.)

instead, i decided to sit and think about what i really want to do. not tonight, but all those other nights in the future. and the days too. i've been looking for other jobs but nothing really interests me. i feel like it would just be a case of same crap bigger paycheck, or, if i'm really lucky, bigger crap same paycheck.

so, after applying to all those jobs that hold no interest for me (and let me tell you, my lack of interest is also clearly showing in my declining interview skills. i have no idea how desperate one suitor must have been to bring me back for a second helping) i did some research and finally did what i've wanted to do for years, but was always just too afraid.

i applied to join the peace corps.

blue is my second favorite color

2008-11-06T20:55:00.002-06:00

i'm not gonna get all political on ya, best to leave that to the pros. or, at the very least, best to leave that to the people who should quit their day jobs and become full-time political bloggers.

but, i am incredibly proud of my country right now. i'll admit it, i haven't been so proud lately. but all that changed when i updated my google news feed wednesday morning.

i feel a really uplifting sense of hopefulness right now. that maybe obama can be our "third time's the charm" when it comes to ending racism (i'm counting lincoln and MLK, Jr in there - my apologies to rosa parks and countless others). we've had our growing pains. now it's time to suck it up and act like a mature country. ya know, use our power repsonsibly, like spidey would want us to.

i probably should have gone to grant park on tuesday, but i really don't like crowds. or portapotties. still, i'm glad it happened, regardless of my preference for indoor plumbing.

hi!

2008-10-13T20:57:00.002-05:00

so, how've you been? me, well, i'm feeling a lot better. i just don't bounce back from strep like i used to, but i finally have some pep in my step. you can tell, from the lack of blogging, that i've left my computer to go do things that are exciting and fun and that simply can't be done in buffalo.

ya know, like, watching "veronica mars" dvds. which i actually do do (hehe) at my computer. but the point is not where i do it, the point is that you should do it! and, if the next time you see me, i'm acting all sassy and say funny things, just know that kristen bell has been a good influence on me, and may have created a monster accidentally.

IRL

2008-10-07T17:27:00.002-05:00

i hate to admit it, but my doc was right on to make me stay home today. i just don't bounce back from strep like i used to.

the good side of this is that i've had the opportunity to seriously bleach my abode (strep-ti-yuck-us germs hate the stuff) and i've seen some excellent movies too.

"ghost rider" is just the movie you need to watch if you have a friend over and a spare six-pack. be prepared to giggle at ridiculousness and quote the stupidity for the rest of the night. or morning, depending on when you watch it. the new york times asks if "the world is ready for a flaming nicolas cage." i say, "flame on."

"dan in real life" made me so happy i almost teared up. i would have, except that antibiotics make me dehydrated. this movie also made me really glad that my sister is 9.34 years younger than me, as i think that makes the chances of us falling for the same guy really slim. she may be a mature 19, and i an immature 28, but there's a still a lot of middle ground in there that neither of us is crossing.

after watching "boondock saints" and realizing the whole batman similarity (which i do not see everywhere i look) i decided to watch some actual batman. "batman and the mask of the phantasm" is fantastic. i love it when bats falls for a girl, and the girl has to leave because her daddy is mixed up with the wrong crowd and then she comes back as a villain. (this has happened once or twice.) cause really, if bats and a lady friend ever worked it out, that'd be the end of batman. and then i'd have to start reading spidey or supes. flame on, indeed.

more notes to self

2008-10-06T20:06:00.002-05:00

electric toothbrushes don't work very well without electricity. i mean, really not well.
it's pretty selfish of my boss to tell me i'm not allowed to go to work tomorrow cause i'm contagious. now i'm just going to have to go infect everyone in nordstrom.
"boondock saints" - what would happen if batman was irish. and had a twin. who would also be irish.

notes to self

2008-10-05T12:01:00.004-05:00

you can get drunk on white wine. i don't know why this lesson is so hard for me to learn.
being sick isn't fun, but sometimes it leads to dreams that feature queen latifah, and that is fun.
facebook can lead to awkward moments. like the post-makeout "don't bother calling, let's just be facebook friends" or people from your high school that you really don't remember asking if you do remember them. really, i don't mind the new FB format, but i could've used some warning on that new IM feature.
remember when i used to listen to trance? i should do more of that. the theme song to "house, md" is great and all, but i could really use more massive attack in my life.
i hope i never need a doctor like house, partly because it means i'd be in pretty bad shape, but mostly because i'm sure i'd be emotionally traumatized. he's not a very nice guy.

they grow up so fast

2008-09-28T18:24:00.002-05:00

completely unrelated, did you know i live in the most stressful city in the USA? yeah, i don't buy it either.

so, you guys are going to be proud of me. on friday, i initiated a political discussion and made valid points and educated my friend rebecca on the issues at hand and convinced her to vote in november. not that it really matters, illinois is going to obama for sure.

this is a huge step for me, considering i had to read an US weekly article to find out obama lives in chicago. and while i know i will never be on the same level of political blogging that the humanator and outdoorsy-guy are known for, i started realizing that living blind to the issues was reprehensible and now i no longer skip the "boring" stuff in the paper.

for all the reasons everyone has already stated and/or posted youtube clips, i am scared for the future. terrified, really. if obama doesn't win, i may have to ditch this country, for reals. and even if he does, the poor guy would probably be assassinated so fast, it won't even matter.

i don't understand how we can live with so many ignorant people. it makes me want to cry and throw up and scream at the same time.

but, lest you think i've gone completely responsible, let me assure you that i still makeout with strangers and buy expensive things i don't really need. sure, my 'puter has been putting along and being a jerk now and then, but it still works. i opted to not let that stop me from ordering a dell inspirion 1525. i bought it for the same reason i buy most expensive things that i don't really need: i was bored and it came in green.

oh, canadia

2008-09-14T14:38:00.003-05:00

i spell it that way, cause if americans are from america, then canadians should be from canadia.

i'm in ottawa. in case you didn't know, that's the capital of canadia. it's not toronto. no, i'm serious, it's not.

moving on...

ottawa is beautiful. really, really, beautiful. the place i'm staying is a good example of the prettiness here. and, canadians are so nice. i forgot how nice they are. they think it's so cute that we think they're so nice. i just think they're cute with their little accents and printing everything in french and english. i'm now fluent in vending machines and warnings!

the thing i don't like about traveling alone is that it's kinda lonely. obviously, there are other people at this conference, but not all of them are canadian, so not all of them are so bubbly. i think i'm going out drinking with the staff tonight, at least the ones who don't have to present tomorrow. i was going to try to take a bus tour tonight, but i think the last one is at 4... which i'm not going to make. i'm here for an extra day, so maybe i'll do that on wednesday, after i take my "haunted ottawa" walking tour tuesday night. they do offer a pub crawl version... i'll be historical instead of going shopping! there's really no point in shopping in canadia anymore, anyway. stupid dollar being stupid.

speaking of drinking - god, i've missed canadian beer! they were serving battie's (which i never used to call it, but now i feel a strong affinity for it) at the german fest, and they called it DOMESTIC! it made me so happy.

and now i get to drink all the canadian i want. real canadian, with all of its high alcohol content. chicago is too far from the canadian border for its own good. maybe i should hang out in detroit. you know, if i ever feel thirsty and suicidal.

at any rate, i'm working on being more personable, as i found out recently that i may come across as "judgmental and standoffish." i thought i came across as "interested in others and sweetly shy." i don't really know if i should trust the opinion of someone who i recently learned does coke (much to my sincere disappointment), but it still makes me wonder - is that why guys don't call? do i just not seem interested? have my remarkable flirting skills become unremarkable?

at any rate, ottawa is lovely and if anyone feels like taking a 7-hour drive up north, you are more than welcome to stay in my princess room and experience the lovely hospitality of the citizens of canadian's capital.

sorry

2008-09-08T20:51:00.002-05:00

i'm too tired to blog. it took all of my brain power to stay awake to read your blogs. i'm not saying yours were boring (au contraire, mon frere) i've just got nothing left. here's a few key points:

my boss actually gave me credit for my own work and said i did "very good!" that's like getting a silver star.

still working towards gold. not everyone can be michael phelps.

the ninja and i will not be getting married anytime soon because he likes my friend better than me.

too bad she has a boyfriend and lives in buffalo

it takes me at least two days to recover from getting home at 6:30 AM. i was all like, "i should go take pictures of the sunrise!" but then i realized that the sun was rising and i should really go to sleep.

so, what have we learned? i like stars, ninjas and hiding from the sun.

i'll try to do better next time.

i'm engaged!

2008-08-30T12:06:00.002-05:00

in battle. with the humanist. i was going to let him think he won and have let him have his little ego boost, until i was forced to learn through facebook that he's dating someone. how rude! apparently, when you live more than 5 miles from the humanist, he no longer feels as though you're worthy of being notified in person of his major life changes. i, on the other hand, am a considerate friend and thoroughly update him on all of my single activities.

i'm hurt.

and what do girls do when they've been wounded? do they sit in a corner and whimper? no, they fight tooth and nail to win blog war '08.

so, eric, i accept your terms. most comments on a single post by september wins. i can see you've already been trying your dangdest to get comments and have gotten up to four. poor boy, do you know what you've gotten yourself into?!

i'm miserable

2008-08-25T20:48:00.002-05:00

i hate my job. actually, that's not true. i hate my boss. but even more than i hate her, i hate what all this hate is doing to me. i'm constantly tired. i have no desire to see friends or talk to people. it took all of my energy to be spunky for half an hour with the outdoorsman (you ain't no wannabe in my book) but in the back of my head all i could think about was how lunch would be over far too soon...

but mostly, i hate how i've lost the will to blog.

so, in an effort to not let the worksies get me down, i've decided to do something about it. that something being... look for a new job! cause, ya know, it was so much bloody fun six months ago, i can only imagine how much fun it'll be this time around.

but, have no fear gentle readers, my misery did not cloud my eyes so much that i missed the fact that blog war III has begun. i was just pushed further into my emo funk by realizing that the humanist thinks that exposition is the same as truly baring one's soul and that the number of comments your blog receives is a sure sign that you're an excellent blogger. those of us who have integrity don't blog to be discussed or commented on, we hope to leave our readers (if we have any) with a sense of introspection and enlightenment. or to just get a lot of shit off our chests.

so, yes, kind sir, if you feel the need to fight the forces of niceness and self-examination, i'll take you on. just try not to cry into your blog when i'm done with you.

<3

2008-08-20T20:31:00.002-05:00

ryan gosling and rachel mcadams are back together!

this really makes me much happier than is probably normal.

history lesson

2008-08-19T19:53:00.002-05:00

the humanist has called my "punk ass" out. i'll accept his challenge, but methinks it would first be appropriate to take a stroll down memory lane... lest history repeat itself:

blog war the first:

my challenge: write about sports and post youtube videos.
uh, that's a check and a double check.

the humanist's challenge: write about his feelings,
...

i think they call that a forfeit, my friend.

blog war the second:
(get corporate sponsorship)

me: greenfern, ahem, greenfern

the humanist: ...

so, uh, yeah. feel free to tell me what the terms are. i'll gladly beat yo' ass down!

petition

2008-08-17T20:07:00.002-05:00

there are important matters to discuss. the royal toybox briefly reopened 9 days ago and then disappeared again. i completely understand that he has 3 lovely ladies who deserve his attention much more than the rest of us, but i think it'd be really cool if the propreitor of said toybox returned to musing about his daily adventures on a much more regular basis. i miss the funny witticisms!

(feel free to sign below if you too need more RT in your life.)

?!

2008-08-16T20:52:00.003-05:00

i went to the dentist this morning. normally going to the dentist is fun. i watch the "finding nemo"-esque aquarium, watch some tv, get told how great my teeth are and then i go on my way.

not today. today i was told i have 3 cavities (my first, second and third ever!) and that one might require a root canal. he then showed me pictures of what looked like the insides of a cartoon tooth getting sucked out through cartoon straws. i no longer like cartoons. just kidding on the last part.

also, i have TMD which i suspected due to the blinding pain i sometimes feel when i yawn or eat. also, when someone turns to you in the middle of a movie and asks if you could "keep that down" and they are referring to your jaw, you know there is a problem.

but - there's a plus side to this! i haven't been hallucinating, there really is a reason why my ears hurt all the time - it's my defective jaw! isn't that funny? want to know the best part? there's no cure! man, i'm so stoked. if i stop chewing gum and opening my mouth wide and buy a $500 mouth guard that my insurance doesn't cover and essentially never use my mouth again there's a good chance the pain won't get worse. in fact, it may even get slightly better.

i fucking hate going to the dentist.

third times the charm

2008-08-07T22:14:00.000-05:00

but im willing to go a fourth if you want.

...see you saturday.

happy anniversary!

2008-08-05T20:02:00.002-05:00

today is my 6 month anniversary in chicago! i sure hope i got myself something pretty...

this past weekend was pretty exciting. i went to bed at 8:30 PM on friday (man, that was so amazing) and on saturday i went and got the most enjoyable eyebrow wax ever. seriously, i would go there everyday if that wouldn't be super creepy and rather pointless. and then i went out clubbing. i don't often "club" and i don't often bring the girls out to play, ya know what i'm saying? i don't think i'm ever going to go clubbing again. or, if i do, i am going to insist that my friend that i thought was gay but really wanted to prove to me how gay he wasn't waits with me on the corner while i attempt to catch a cab at 3 AM and am told by a large scary man to "get the fuck in my SUV now, bitch!" luckily, my shoes hurt so i was more mad than scared. actually, i still am mad. who the heck was he to tell me what to do? pff, it's not like it was a lincoln navigator. and then there were the guys in the limo. stupid drunk is stupid annoying.

the more i think about it, the more i'm thinking that i was mistaken for a prostitute. which means prostitutes lead very busy lives full of all kinds of obnoxious people. they deserve every penny they make. and i hope those guys tip.

and my favorite part of that night - i was wearing j.crew. can't guys recognize silk chiffon when they see it?

on sunday i went to my first cubs game since high school. my coworkers are so nice to take me out and not make fun of me when i ask if the ball went out of bounds. "yes... that was a foul ball." "oh, foul, right. want a beer?"

but it was a great way to spend a sunday afternoon and it's always fun to watch little kids get super excited over stuff.

FYI, i have a crush on michael phelps.

how could i resist?

2008-07-27T20:41:00.001-05:00

it's called wasabi green.

authority on the matter

2008-07-23T18:55:00.003-05:00

you know you've made it when people call you at work to ask what the story is behind the assault allegations christian bale has had to deal with of late. my official opinion? his mom and sister are just trying to get some money out of him. or maybe they're mad they didn't get asked to the premiere. but there is no way a man that attractive assaulted someone. and have they seen the batman movies? he only assaults assaulters. and if that isn't enough to make you want to drop the charges, pretend patrick bateman is your sweet, baby boy.

but my camp agrees, christian deserves a hug and a pint. if i hurry, i might be able to catch the end of the premiere in barcelona.

enough with the whining!

2008-07-22T18:20:00.002-05:00

anyone else tired of listening to me complain about how much i hate having a job when the economy is terrible and most people would be thankful to have a job that involves poop, much less a job that involves ergonomic chairs? not that i've figured out how to make mine comfy yet, but that's hardly the point.

i think my boss and i, through a complex series of non-conversations, have finally figured out how to communicate with each other. now, when she gives me an assignment and uses strange terms (i had no idea a "schedule" was a "spreadsheet" before i started working here) i know what questions to ask and then when i give her a first draft she acts impressed instead of disappointed! it makes going to work happier. so does the lack of poop. :)

the only other thing we need to work on is getting her to approve my days off. she wanted to know what they were, i told her, and now she won't tell me if they're ok. but, to heck with it, the flights are booked and here's what's up.

august 8, arrive around 6 PM. i'm making my future roomie pick me and my polka-dot suitcase up and take me to boozemas (she hasn't agreed yet, but i'm sure she'll come around). it's on gabrielle st., how could i miss it?! plus, this will be a great chance for me to see a bunch of people i haven't seen since i permenantly turned my clocks back an hour.
august 9, i hope to hang out with the 44 crowd. either at 44, on the patio, or at harley's place is fine. heck, we could hang out in a parking lot and it'd be fun! you guys are so cool.
august 10, family time! i expect this to involve a lot of food.
august 11, ERIE COUNTY FAIR! this, too, will involve a lot of food, though of a different caliber. and there's piggy races! you can come too, it's a pretty swell time.
august 12, thinking i'll spend some time with the grandparents. cause, ya know, i haven't eaten enough already. and then i fly home, taking up two seats.

so, that's my plan. i like this plan. it has the makings of a good plan.

did i manage to go a whole post with no whining? i didn't, did i... oh well, on a completely non-whiny note, let me just mention again that i really do miss you guys. i know i talk about all the awesome stuff here, and it is awesome, but the chicago-awesomeness doesn't make your awesomeness any less awesome. i get really excited about coming back to buffalo and seeing you guys. i just did the thing where you smile really big and scrunch your shoulders up cause you thought about something that makes you happy. and that thought was about each and every one of you.

don't look at me like that! i made no claims about removing "cheese" or "mush" or "mushy cheese" from my blog. besides, you know you like it.

allow me to elaborate

2008-07-21T20:11:00.002-05:00

but first - happy birthday, bridget!

typing apostrophes makes my computer try to find things. it sucks.

i find it really hard to believe that "the dark knight" was only rated pg-13. if i had watched that as a 13 year old, i"d be sucking my thumb like nobody"s business. dont get me wrong, i loved it. but not in the "i cant wait to buy it and watch it a bazilliony bajillon times!" way, because i dont want to suck my thumb. that was some disturbing and sad and dark shit, yo. but it was incredibly well done and pretty gosh darn true to the comics, both in style and actual happenings. and the music was perfect. i only have one issue, and it is a minor one, having to do with a minor character, when instead they could have set her up to be a bigger player. but it worked, and i have to say, i am happy. i also love things that show off my beautiful city and my office building too. :)

i like where chris nolan's going with this and i can't wait to see more. my only question is...

when's my girl harley gonna get some screen time?

it"s time i just admit it

2008-07-21T06:03:00.002-05:00

you know how i was unemployed for 2.5 months? it has ruined me. cause now, i never want to work again. NEVER. stupid lack of rich husband.

also, my date with colin was "eh." it"s quite possible he was as nervous as i was until i suddenly remembered that i"m AWESOME, so if he calls i"ll give him a second chance, but if he doesnt call, i certainly wont be heartbroken.

also, my camera broke again, and even though, starting in august when my student loans kick back in, i will be poorer than poor, i think now is the perfect time to upgrade. so, gentle readers, what do you snap shots with? what do you like about your gadgetry and what do you wish was different?

now specialiizing in movie reviews

2008-07-19T17:47:00.001-05:00

wow

poor little dork girl

2008-07-17T20:24:00.002-05:00

no, i am not going to a midnight showing. why? cause none of my friends in chicago are "cool" enough to go with me, and 3 am is a bit late for a cutie such as myself to wander the streets alone. as is, i may have to go alone tomorrow night. oh, i've reserved two tickets, i figure i can make friends by scalping one. maybe i'll right my phone number on it.

speaking of that, i called. left a cute message ("hey, glad to hear you like shots. i also like shots, and full-sized drinks and things that don't involve alcohol!) on tuesday. he called wednesday morning. didn't leave a message. confusing. so i just called back ("tag - you're it!" cause i'm in sixth grade) and said i didn't know if he was being sneaky or my phone was being jerky.

with any luck, i'll actually talk to him, and he'll take my second ticket (if we ever do go on a date, do i have to pay since i started this? if so, i hate equal rights for both sexes) and then we'll have the best first date ever in the history of firsts.

OMG! THIS JUST IN! my phone rang! caller ID said "Colin"! i answered! we spoke! it was like we were actually using the phone for what it was intended for! and we chatted like we've had conversations before (we hadn't) and it was fun! and if his friend didn't get him a ticket to pitchfork music fest (chicago has more fests than i know what to do with, so i don't go to any of them) to see public enemy (badass) he is totally going to see "the dark knight" with me tomorrow! hurray!

now, should i warn him ahead of time about what a bat-freak i am, or just let him figure it out?

!!!

updaterific!

2008-07-15T19:33:00.003-05:00

a call was made. a message was left. i figured it was important to mention that i like shots and drinks that come in full-sizes and even things that don't involve alcohol at all! i'll be sure to keep you posted, as i know your breath is bated. :) and once the hypothetical hanging out occurs, i'll be sure to inquire as to any females suitable for the humanist.

here's something you're sure to find chuckle-worthy: i have a 90's themed party to go to this weekend, and i have no idea what to wear. i could create a soundtrack like nobody else (or at least like everybody else who thinks the 90s were when all the best music was made), but all i remember wearing in the 90s was a lot of flannel (i did still bathe) and then my jammies when i was in college. i refuse to go as daria or lisa loeb. yeah, i know, i share red hair, glasses and two arms with them, so clearly we look alike.

i am developing a bitchin' scar on my left shin from when i went (man-made) white water rafting and fell out of the two-person kayak and hit a (man-made) rock. part of me wants to just proudly display it, but too many people were cringing and getting grossed out instead of giving me the props i deserve (i bled and got back on that river and showed it who's boss) , so i got some of that "scar-be-gone" stuff. i'll let you know how it works, in case you have any battle wounds you want to lose.

DILEMMA!

2008-07-14T20:13:00.002-05:00

i stayed in saturday night - seeing as how i felt no desire to go clubbing (and when i asked what i should wear and was told "club wear" i was then too embarassed to ask what that meant) and everyone else i know was either at a wedding or passed out from an afternoon cubs game, this seemed like a wise choice. this wise choice led to me going to brunch sunday morning. i like brunch. i also like sharing 32 oz. bloody marys. our waiter was pretty cute, in that teddy bear kinda way, and he was funny and nice and quite attentive. he gave us free shots that were delicious. lemon drops are the bestest-est.

cut to "time to go" time. betsy has been telling me for the last two hours that i need to give this waiter, (psst, his name is colin) my number. the check has come, i've teased him for ringing us up wrong and betsy is now lamenting that this chap is "gabby-number-less." she decides that i should take the napkin that our sugary lemons came on and write, "hey baby, i shook the sugar off this napkin, but if you want some more sugar, give me a call." i told her that was horrible, and very misleading, but in all reality, that's something i would tell someone to write.

i went with a tame "if you ever want to do more shots, give me a call." and then i left my name and number, as i thought he might need those. as if. and then i proceeded to go about my day, never expecting to hear from him. (side note, in going about my day, i got hit on by a homeless man. he asked for my number and then said, "yeah right, like i have a phone! hey, how i take you to dinner, but you pay? hehehehe!" he was pretty cool.)

but then he (not the homeless dude) called. an hour later. left a message about how he got my "offer", spends a lot of time being a waiter, but only until he gets out of school and gets a real job, and that i should swing by stanley's (the scene of the crime) or give him a call when i want to hang out. only he sounded more enthused about it than that bland translation let on.

sounds good, right? WRONG! i don't know what the eff i'm doing! i have no idea how to date! all i've ever done is make my friends more than friends, or cut to the chase and then never speak to them again. i have no idea how this courting thing works. i had to get advice on when to call him back (tomorrow is the consensus) which is good cause i still have no idea what to say. "so, yeah, i left you my number cause i was 'triple-dog-dared' to, and now i have no idea what to do next. you have any ideas?"

i can only come across as psycho. help.

when the cat's away...

2008-07-01T12:30:00.002-05:00

and the IT filters are down, the mice do blog.

have i mentioned in the last five minutes how happy i am to be in chicago? i made more friends! apparently, i am an incredibly awesome person to hang out with. or, as the work hottie put it, "damn, you're cool. how are you single?" umm, cause you're already dating someone else. even when i'm telling some guy i just met to stop being a lil' bitch cause my friend/coworker/recent birthday girl didn't listen to his mixed tape yet, i'm adored. no, really. allow me to play stenographer:
LB: "i can't believe you didn't listen to it yet."
BD Girl: "get over it."
me: "what's the big deal? did you write the songs?"
LB: "no..."
me: "do the songs express your truest undying emotions?"
LB: "not really..."
me: "then what are you whining about? cause she doesn't want to subject herself to what's sure to be your crappy taste in music? now shut up and carry the cake downstairs, i'm hungry."
LB: "she's really cool, i think i love her."
BD Girl: "i loved her first."

so, yes, chicago is fun. but i'm glad i'm here for a sorta less fun reason. my aunt in mill-wah-kay may have lupus. she's single, no kids, and while she has a ton of friends who love her dearly, if she ends up needing some round the clock care, i'm so happy i'm only a train-ride away. i really hope it doesn't come to that because it would crush her to no longer be independent, but i know it makes it easier on the whole family, and aunt patti, to know that someone is near by. especially when that person has experience cleaning cat boxes. (hey, not everyone can hack it.) hopefully, her symptoms will turn out to be caused by something else entirely, but until we know i won't be planning any trips back to the b-lo, which kinda stinks cause i miss all of you (especially after i took my first sailing lesson last night and was like, "you know who would love this?! everyone i know!") but i'm happy to be where i hopefully won't be needed.

just like i said i would

2008-06-26T20:30:00.002-05:00

i'm not usually one for bragging, but i'm willing to make an exception. it just so happens that my life is so totally better than yours. oh sure, i'm exhausted from being fabulous all the time and i don't have a significant other, but seeing as how the thought of dating someone makes me all queasy and ickly feeling i'm actually going to count that as a check on the plus side. no, really, it's so bad that the second a a cutie starts to flirt with me i freak out and start looking for the quickest exit. unless they're adorable 22-year-old hang-gliding instructors in training. and hang-gliding, btw, is amazing. it's like being a bird. really, you should try it. especially if you play rock-paper-scissors first with your new friend to see who gets to ride tandem with the very attractive instructor and win. and then go out drinking with everyone that night, except that you and your new friend started drinking like, 7 hours ago because it was too windy to fly and there's nothing else to do in central illinois. so yeah, when we got to the bar, i have to admit that i was a little disappointed that it didn't have more local flavor. you know, people missing teeth. this place was really nice, but once they started playing kid rock, i knew i was in the right place. oh, one other way to know you're in the right place. when you order 7 top shelf drinks and the total is $21.50. $21.50. freaking amazing. so, really, what i'm saying, is that you should go hang-gliding with someone attractive while you're buzzed. yeah, you definitely should try that.

ok, so maybe my life isn't totally better than yours, but it sure is totally better than when i first moved here and had to gimp around and spend all my time staring at my cat. man, what a hoot. if i haven't mentioned it lately, i am super glad i moved here. but as much as i make new friends here, i still miss all of you. i have no doubt that i'll be back soon so we can all be fabulous together. doesn't that just sound smashing?

and why am i using only the corniest of adjectives?

my adventures, let me share them with you

2008-06-10T21:46:00.002-05:00

i left work today at 5:17 PM today. i figured that since i show up late, i should probably leave late. that's an HR trick for all of you. i got to the corner of state and madison around 5:25 and proceeded to wait for the 147 bus. i like taking the bus home cause then you get to look at the lake and get all relaxed and happy before you open the door to a whiny cat. but the bus didn't show up! lots of other buses did, but they were all inferior in both route number and destination. after 20 minutes of waiting (instead of the usual 20 nanosecnds) i figured i had better take the unscenic train. but the train was closed! no one could take it! and then i saw a 147 go by but it was so packed with people they wouldn't let anyone on.

so i took a 151. superior in route number but so much slower. no biggie, it was a nice day, and it'll take me to my doorstep like the 147. or will it? this one decided to stop at belmont with no warning. i know there was no warning and not a warning that i missed cause i was rocking out cause everyone else looked confused. so i figured i'd walk up to broadway and catch the 36. but first i had some chipolte. yummy.

i went outside to catch the 36 and ran into my college roommate's sister's roommate! how random! so we both get on the 36 and make small and medium sized talk and then she gets off cause she lives more south than me and i'm chillng and not rocking out when the driver says that this bus will stop at foster. what? it's suppossed to go to my doorstep, like it always does!

so i got off at wilson and took the red line the rest of the way home.

and at what time did i finally see my extra whiny kitty? 8:14. yep, it took me almost 3 hours to get home today. luckily, it was filled with entertaining folk that were only scary 60% of the time.

constructive criticism

2008-06-09T20:53:00.002-05:00

i joined weight watchers. i've been feeling pretty dumpy about the fact that i look dumpy for quite some time so i decided to do something about it. especially when the fatty-fatmore (it's still ok to make fun of mountains of smelly flesh, right?) was pissed when i sat next to her on the bus. seriously, this snorting-evil-eye-giving beeotch was so huge she hasn't been able to close her legs since before monica lewinsky opened hers. and she's giving me grief?! that definitely means it's time for me to change something. so, next time you see me, be sure to comment on how awesome i look. and then give me back all the clothes i gave you.

in other news, i really like my job. it's very different from that other job i had in that this job requires me to go to parties i didn't plan at the four seasons (yummilicious! - so good it deserved a new word) and work on spreadsheets all day and not talk to anyone i don't want to. plus, it's in chicago, which is nice, because chicago is swell. things with danielle are going really well (watch me as i talk about my platonic friend like she's a boy+friend). although i was really bummed when she convinced me that jin is in fact dead and did not make it off the boat and is now hiding in korea for some indeterminate reason. we're going to have to work on her supporting my alternate realities. i think i finally broke her of her christian bale crush. i do not share my hopeless crushes.

speaking of crushes, james marsden is really cute! i couldn't respect him as a hottie before because he always played those lame "sure, you can flirt with my wife" guys, but in 27 dresses he was a little prick and i loved him for it! i hope i can find a sarcastic jerk someday who gives props to elton john and cries at weddings. also, the untucked button-down with jacket and jeans/baggy khakis is the hottest look for any guy, ever. before a guy leaves the house, in my opinion, he should stand in front of a mirror holding a puppy. if he looks like he belongs on the cover of j.crew, he's good to go. if not, call me. we can work it out.

super freak

2008-06-01T22:19:00.002-05:00

spotted on the L:

girl wearing a green hoodie, clutching a coach tote trimmed in green, propping her legs up on a polka-dot green suitcase while listening to a green iPod.

...at least my shoes were orange.

so...

2008-05-28T14:59:00.002-05:00

say you're home sick. your fever finally broke but you're still slightly delirious and have a credit card with a high enough limit to buy a car and you don't have to pay interest for 6 months, and by making these purchases you earn free flights on southwest, which you love, cause it doesn't matter where you sit - the germs will always find you. what would you buy? me? oh, it's a fairly boring list. but since you asked...

a 60" LCD HD TV. i got to watch TV on a TV this weekend, and i gots to say, it was mighty nice.
a DVD player. so i can watch buffy kick some majorly large ass.
wireless surround sound. wires are a pain to deal with.
a wii. and the fit part too. apparently all of the available ones are in canada, and they're $100 cheaper there too.
more shoes.

i don't really know why i'd buy more shoes. after i buy all that other stuff it's not like i'll ever leave my apartment. i guess people could see my shoes when they come over, but i'm all about being barefoot in my diggs.

if you're wondering why i didn't add "laptop" to my list of techno-fun, it's cause i just scored one from work. it's not the best lappy ever, but it'll get the job done. yippee!

and now, if you'll excuse me, i need to go peruse consumer reports and see who will give me the most HD-WOW! for my numerous bucks.

SWF

2008-05-25T11:53:00.003-05:00

lots of people recently graduated. i don't know most of them, but congrats anyway! and for those of you who graduated and invited me to your party, double congrats!! sorry i moved away and can't attend most of them. i have no doubt they'll still be a blast.

which reminds me, i went to one yesterday. someone's now a law grad! and i mentioned to someone who was a law grad a few years back that i thought about going to law school but then realized it meant that i would have to go to law school. and while i was shuddering from the idea of having to spend more time skipping clases, i also realized that while imitation is the highest form of flattery, too much is just creepy.

and so, i present to you, all the ways in which i am apparently trying to become a garvey when i grow up (in no particular order).

- hurray for saturday morning cartoons!
- comics are awesome too!
- play volleyball in iroquois high school's gym
- misspell iraquois (i'm assuming)
- join LT
- hang out in B1
- ohmygod, i'm so drunk
- repeat
- art with fr. tunney
- briefly visit albany
- live with johnny
- graduate from canisius
- go to bidness school
- oh 44, you're awesome
- woo hoo, i have an MBA!
- move to chicago
- eat so much pizza
- take the L in the wrong direction (that's just me? damn)
- blog for the masses

all that's left is to marry a battaglia and have cute babies. best to stop before this just gets crazy.

i know you don't live here...

2008-05-15T21:16:00.001-05:00

but click the button and vote for me anyway!

fo' shizzle!

2008-05-14T21:21:00.002-05:00

i love tiffany's. always have. it's so sleek and classy and pretty. but i can't afford it. sure, i could buy one or two things, but that's what i said about the graphic novels. you understand my fear. so, a good friend and i decided we would open Tiphz. All the designs you love - at affordable prices! heavy duty tin foil will cover only the sturdiest plastic. and for that extra glimmer, bits of broken bottles. i think we'll make it big.

i am so excited to be coming home in one week, one day and 2 hours! we can talk about how awesome buffy is, and our new jobs and make fun of each other. it'll be so great. :)

i went to a new doc last week, just to get set up in my non-HMO world (i know, i'm living the sweet life now) and she asked if i was planning on having any babies anytime soon. i said, no, not likely, at which point she said, "you're 28! you better get started if you want them!" then she left the room. i stole the magazine i was reading. and yes, it did make me feel better.

i'm sorry for the lameness of this post. i am so sleepy. but soon you'll have all my lameness in person, so, don't be sad.

!!!

2008-05-07T22:17:00.001-05:00

buffy has a sister?! a sister who grows up to star in "eurotrip"?

i can dig it.

happy anniversary!

2008-05-05T19:00:00.002-05:00

just in case there was any confusion, i am actually quite happy. oh sure, i get a little frowny cause i miss all you fantastic people, but i still love chicago and am so glad i moved here! moved here 3 months ago today, in fact! i am celebrating by not doing a dang thing. :) well, that's not entirely true. i'm going to plan on putting my laundry away but probably not. even though i should since tomorrow i'm going to some special showing of this famous underwater photographers' famous photos/films. i hope yo la tengo shows up.

so, who lost bets now that i hit 3 months? :)

on a completely unrelated note that will only be of interest to a few of you - all natural pine litter is really the way to go. it doesn't get tracked all over the place, and if you leave it near a nightlight it'll get hot and smell like campfire. oh, and it's cheap. seriously, it's good stuff.

still can't remember what i was going to write about the other day

2008-05-04T19:49:00.002-05:00

i always get a little melancholy after my guests leave; and by always i mean both times. i enjoy my solitary time, but i don't like it. it's not normal for humans to be alone, we're meant to be surrounded by others, so while i enjoy quiet nights with harlee and the fishies, i don't like them cause i know too much of it will end poorly.

i'm reading this book* that after 20 pages makes me want to amazon (i just made it a verb) everything the author has ever written and then, on page 29, my heart leaped into my throat and stayed there for a good long time. i suddenly realized that i don't want to be "one of those people who [are] never fully present in their own lives." and that's exactly what i was afraid of becoming without knowing it. granted, i was there, but not entirely. i sorta just let things happen to me and never really put much effort into change. always reactionary, never actionary (i'm making up all kinds of new words today!) and i knew if i kept on that path, it would lead to a very unenjoyable realization one day, perhaps when it was too late to do anything about it. back in the day, as i sleepwalked my way to old main, this kid used to shout "wake up!" to me at least once a week. i think i'm finally picking up what he was laying down.

but taking life by the reins hasn't been all fun and games either. i used to have dreams where i failed business school maybe once every two weeks. then i had dreams i didn't move twice a week. now i'm having dreams that i'll never find a job five nights a week. the strange thing is, i have these dreams after i've already graduated, moved and started to like my job. i wake up shaking, only to realize i did succeed, so why do my dreams keep telling me i've failed? i know i tend to beat myself up; i search for approval and acceptance in others cause i rarely find it in myself, and there's no reason. i don't really know what this means other than to say, i gots mad issues. when i'm not blogging or watching network prime time a day after everyone else, i generally tend to analyze the past and try to determine the future. i don't really live in the present. which is pretty lame on my part, but not so lame that i'm going to use that lame, "now is a gift, that's why they call it a present" quote. even though i just did. dang it.

so, yeah, that's where my head's out, for now, i guess. but i'm working on that. right after i do some cleaning. because my living quarters need to be clean now, as opposed to in the far, distant and uncertain but that's totally fine, future.

* i tend to read a lot know that i have a library across the street from me and i don't have a TV and there's only so much network stuff i can watch. and this book reminds me of the movie "closer" which i really would have like to see as a play since that's what it originally was. but, anyway, siri hustvedt wrote "what i loved" and i'm really strongly in like with it.

...

2008-05-01T21:13:00.000-05:00

i just completely lost my train of thought. we'll try this again tomorrow.

Up-te-datey

2008-04-24T22:30:00.002-05:00

people have been asking how i like my job. i have edited this post to make it safe for the family to read, but if the situation doesn't improve soon, blogger is going to have to place a parental warning on here. and i'll have to remove walmart from my list of potential sponsors. because they don't like the words that mean mean things. not because i would ask them to support me. although i do like the bouncy smiley face that saves you money.

i am so bored i pray that we have an earthquake so i can go home. apparently, this is a viable option.
i was hired to convert their data into a useful format, but i'm begining to think this data doesn't exist...
they have the computers locked down so tight that i can't check my email or blog or even pretend i care and update my facebook profile!
the office hottie is, well, a hottie, but he's also a shyie. stop laughing at my jokes and make out with me in my office. it's not like i'm doing anything else in there.

so, while i am really glad to be gainfully employed and to again have health insurance in 6 days, 1 hour and 25 minutes, i'm really regretting turning down that interview for the assistant commissioner for employment in the department of human resources for the city of chicago (how would that ever fit on a business card?) because i "just got hired" and "didn't know how i would take time off for an interview." so i reapplied. i'm pretty sure i take time off by saying, "can i leave at 3 PM next tuesday?" and then i go tell the acting and deputy commissioners how awesome i am and then they pay me $20k more. seriously. i turned down the chance to make $20k more because of some misguided loyalty to a place that's not even smart enough to give me work! they asked me to make practice spreadsheets to make sure i really knew how to use excel! aaaah!

otherwise, chicago is awesome! i'm going canoing on sunday and "forgetting sarah marshall" is hysterical and chipotle is really yummy (not mighty taco yummy - it's a different kind of thing) and akira had a shoe sale and ann taylor loft is having a sale and i've already spent my first paycheck, which is fine, except that i haven't gotten it yet.

i like it here. but i miss buffalo and the peoples in it that i used to hang out with, so i'll come visit next month. this is a good plan. it's good to have a plan.

counter-point

2008-04-23T20:38:00.003-05:00

i disagree. which is strange, cause we're not even discussing the environment or whether or not guiness tastes like crap this time.

i definitely do not think that we should go around using racial slurs, but i don't think silence is the answer either. in fact, i think it's part of the problem. i think we should all be free to talk about our differences, and why they're good AND what's good in other cultures/races/neighborhoods too. and free to ask others what they're all about! one of my former coworkers was a jehovah's witness, and i had no idea what that meant other than they were the people my mom loved to screw with when they came to the house, but this coworker was willing to tell me about it. do i want to incorpoate those beliefs into my life? hells no - i love my birthday. but now i know and it's no longer this strange thing i know nothing about. now i know the facts instead of the stereotypes and what other people think about them. see the difference? when a kid asks an adult what's different about the person who's black, white, purple or polka-dot walking down the street the adult should not be afraid to tell them. if they don't give them a truthful, factful answer, then the kid is going to get their "facts" from somewhere else. and they're going to keep looking for answers until they find them. telling someone that something is forbidden (whether it's a topic of conversation, way of thinking, dressing, acting, etc.) is only going to make them want to do it more. abolish the drinking age and after the novelty wears off, i'm sure even some of the newer new englanders will go dry.

stereotypes will never be completely eliminated. they're needed to help organize the bombardment of information our brains are constantly receiving - you use them when you see a mangy dog and a purring cat - and sometimes you're wrong. but if we didn't have an initial slot to put info we'd never be able to react to anything - not to the cutie winking at us or the crazy waving a knife. i think a good place for the human race to start would be to remember that stereotypes are guideline, not hard and fast rules. not every latino is gonna try to cop a feel, but it doesn't hurt to keep an eye out at first. not to mention the fact that sometimes stereotypes funny. and watch this one too. i can't wait to see it live next month!

any who...

so, how do we change the way americans react to the info they just processes? fuck if i know. i guess i could have some kids and teach them that while us froggies make the best food, the irish have the best holiday and the canadians are the nicest, and so on and so on. but first i'd have to find a baby daddy and we all know that all guys suck.

better than an easter seal

2008-04-17T21:41:00.002-05:00

i am very sleepy. i've nailed the getting up at 5:30 am part, now i just need to figure out how to stay up past 10:00 pm.

my bff sent me this very funny pic today. i had to share. i hope to share my pics soon. i like sharing.

boombastic

2008-04-16T19:06:00.003-05:00

i don't even know what "boombastic" means, it just happened to be a song that popped up on my iPod. now its in my head for forever.

the paralyzed veterans of america finally found me! hurray for patriotic return address labels! double hurray for not having to hand write the return address anymore!!

my first day of work was today. it went pretty darn well. everyone was really nice and i don't remember any of their names. i learned stuff and it would seem that i'm still qualified for the job. they have an awesome cafeteria too! plus, i get to work with an alex again, only this time, it's a girl. craziness. and i work with a recruiter who gave her little girl a boys name. some things never change. hopefully, this recruiter won't turn out to be an evil skank jerk-face like the last one. i have to say, it was incredibly weird to go to work today. after being on unpaid-vacation-leave in chicago for 2 months and 11 days, it sorta just now hit me that i live here. and it's pretty cool.

it's 72 outside right now. it's totally fantastic. especially since it was in the 40s for all but one of the days my sister was in town. she was a trooper though - us buffalo gals don't let a little snow keep us from having a good time. madison had sushi for the first, second and third time of her life (she may love it more than me). we also had ethiopian, which led to the following inappropriate conversations, "you should have brought me here when i was little - you're supposed to eat with your hands!" and "do ethiopians eat this stuff every day?" "not likely from the pictures i've seen." this is why you shouldn't take us anywhere nice.

in addition to the food firsts, we both decided it was time we stopped being all talk and no action. and nothing commemorates a fantastic week together like some ink.

aren't those the cutest lil' bugs you ever did see? i'm the foot on the left connected to the deformed ankle. my sister's the bleeder on the right. it was a lot of fun, especially since everyone in the tattoo parlor thought we were the cutest things ever ("you're sisters and you're getting your first tatts together?! and they're bugs! how cute are you?!") extremely, apparently. i just wonder what we'll do the next time she visits...

i will post pictures this weekend, or i'll do my very bestest too. we really did have so much fun and it was nice to just hang out with her. talk girl stuff and watch movies and tease each other and stuff like that. the train and bus are a lot lonelier now that she's headed home.

so i don't end this on a mushy down note, let me tell you about how i made danielle a real friend! i texted her to see if she went to the party on saturday that i was supposed to go to but i couldn't cause maddie was in town and we went to milwaukee, and instead of texting me back, she called me. that's a big step, people. and then we were talking about what events we'll see each other at next and i said, "why don't we hang out saturday night?" and she said yes! we're hanging out and there's no pretense of it being a club-event involved. so, let me take a moment to thank a friend who gave me some great advice a couple months ago ("just get out there"). took me a while to follow through, but i'm glad i did. now if only he would blog...

this just in!

2008-04-07T22:01:00.002-05:00

my cool aunt patti (i refuse to have uncool aunts) now reads my blog. so keep it clean when you comment on my blog - but not too clean, she is the chick who took me to see lewis black, after all.

i got a strange email today - assumed it was spam and almost never opened it. but i'm glad i did! one of my photos was short-listed for the second edition of schmap's east coast guide. not the pic i would have picked (sorry, it was too easy) but then again, i'm not an editor. hope this schmap thing is cool. otherwise i'll feel really lame for being "published" on the web. it's such a fad.

i noticed a few weeks ago that there's something different about me. it wasn't the permanent (albeit slight) limp i now walk with (i'll get that looked at soon). it was more the way i interacted with people. i used to get scared of big crowds of strangers. yes, i know you don't really believe me, but it's the truth and nothing but. now, i love the idea of big crowds of strangers! all those new people to meet and weed through to find the coolest ones. it's fun! i should've tried this not being shy thing years ago. damn. i could've been haning out wtih really cool people all this time.

so, i'm not going to NYC for NY wizard world. you're left to your own devices to figure out why. you may also hypothesize, if you so choose, as to why this is probably a good thing. the real answers are nowhere nearly as exciting as anything you're bound to come up with. in fact, let me know if you come up with anything really juicy. maybe i'll make it my real cover story!

MCA

2008-04-06T22:20:00.005-05:00

i went to first friday at the museum of contemporary art this past friday. i hated it. maybe if i was 19 and/or looking to get laid i would have liked it, but i'm really not a fan of being surrounded by a bunch of poseurs, long lines for bad drinks, DJs whose biggest fan is herself and modern crap art. their slogan is "fear no art." i don't fear it, i'm just afraid i'm gonna wretch all over it. regardless, this event is incredibly popular all twelve times a year and does a lot to raise awareness for the arts community, blah blah blah, so if you want to go when you come visit that's cool, i'll put you on the bus and take the ride to the loop, but i'll be around the corner drooling over the michael kors, chanel and ann taylor. when you're done wretching come find me.

the day started pretty great though. i gots my mane colored auburn. it's like i finally recognize myself in the mirror again! ... although, i'm not normally sideways.

the night ended really great too! after i ditched the most crappiest artsy party i've ever been to, i went and met up with this girl i knew from my club at innjoy, which i did innjoy! and i kissed a mightily cute asian. and then i told him to go away cause he was interfering with me getting my drink on. for some reason, he thought i was playing hard to get, but really, my drink was empty.

saturday i went out with some other people. did i mention i also went out on thursday? yeah, i could barely walk today. 3 days in a row of dancing, drinking too much, staying up late, being hungover, sleeping all day and repeat have done me in. i managed to do laundry and mop the floor today and i don't know how. i have most certainly aged. vacuuming will have to wait for maddie's convenient arrival.

totally unrelated - my cool aunt jeanie just landed an awesome job! i love when things work out - her layoff made her go look for jobs and now she has a better one than she's ever had before. couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. :)

also, here's a pic of my super fat cat trying to fit into a super small box. you can also see all of the boxes filled with books (most with pictures) that desperately need to be put on bookshelves that i should buy at some point.

now she's trying to fit into my purse. yeah, maybe if it was alanna's purse, but you're gonna need quite the kibble cut back before you see the inside of one of mine.

you spin me round

2008-04-01T23:00:00.002-05:00

i knew tonight was going to be a good night because the train showed up just as i reached the platform, always a good sign. and then on the bus the lady next to me smelled like play-doh, a little odd, to be sure, but i love play-doh. and then, when i got to the party, there were chicken wings and they were really, really good. so damn good.

and there was a stripper pole. i have always been intrigued by the stripper pole. how does one spin around without getting dizzy? how do you stop your hands from slipping? i gathered around to watch as some guys were dancing (which was hi-lar-ee-us) and then some chick started shouting get up there red shirt. uh-oh, i was the only one wearing a red shirt. and she sounded ser-ee-us. did you know the actual pole spins? like a lot? news to me. other news to me - apparently i have some moves. and i have to tell you, it was damn fun. i like spinning in circles. and i am positive that while this is not news to you, i still feel it is important to mention that i like being the center of attention.

next time, i need to wear stilettos (the shoes, not the knives) and a fedora. ya know, in addition to, not instead of, the rest of my clothes. i already have a job, thank you.

and that's no joke

2008-04-01T14:50:00.002-05:00

guess what?! i have a job! isn't that the best news you've heard all day that has absolutely no impact on your own life? and it couldn't have happened at a better time. my sister is coming to visit me soon and as much as i say "the plane tickets are your birthday present and i'm not buying you anything else" we all know i'll buy her any and everything she glances at. and somehow she still understands the importance of working to purchase her own stuff. maybe it's cause i make her sing the "you're the best sister ev-UHR" song when i buy her stuff.

also, this job will provide me with health insurance on 5/1, which is important as i plan on jumping out of a plane (with a parachute, natch) on 5/4. just don't tell my mom- i promised her i wouldn't.

i also just became a member of the shedd aquarium and field museum. now i can go as much as i want all year long and take a guest for free each time. expect to be taken here when you come visit. and if you visit in pairs you can shadow box to determine who gets the free ticket. or, if you're boring, you can just split the price.

all in all, things are going pretty well over here. i still miss all of you, but it's no longer that "soul-crushing" kind of missing. it's more of a "i better go do fun stuff so i have fun stuff to show my friends when they come visit" kind of missing. although, i do occassionally find myself a victim of the "le sigh" on thursdays if there's nothing going on here.

i guess that's it. there's a party tonight i think i'll go to and until then i'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to convince myself that i really should put my laundry away and mop the floors. not stuff i like doing, but now as i don't have the "but i should be looking for a job" excuse, i really should do it. no one likes visiting a chick with messy floors.

this shit is dope

2008-03-29T23:36:00.002-05:00

is it just me, or is "weeds" the best show ever? i get home at 6 PM and decide to check out the pilot while i eat some sushi and the next thing i know, it's damn near tomorrow. wacky.

and on to season two...

blast from the past

2008-03-14T21:01:00.003-05:00

here's my closest post to one year ago. looks like i had a really great time on st. patty's eve. apparently, i also decided to wear green for a week straight and planned on doing it for 17 days this year. whoops.

BufBloPoFo has been a ton of fun. i love bloggng. blog, blog, bloggity, bloggy blog. i think i'm going to try and see how long i can keep daily posts up for. considering my abyssmal failure over here, i strongly urge you to not keep your hopes up.

file this under "why dolphins are super."

and file this under "bad idea": i saw a woman wearing really tight white pants. then i noticed they were, tight, white and not entirely opaque. i thought they were stained. instead, i was looking at her ass-tat. ass-tat is now my new favorite swear word.

lastly, please file this under "great news": my interview went so well they're bringing me back for seconds. :)

ode to my abode

2008-03-13T22:47:00.002-05:00

i am in love with my apartment. i just rearranged some stuff and i don't know if i tapped some previously unused feng shui, but i just feel happier and can't stop looking at my handiwork. speaking of handiwork, i haven't yet tried the drapery rod suggestion that was kindly left for me. but the fact that a stranger was willing to help another stranger, namely me, is a pretty cool and very nice thing that deserves mentioning.

ya know, maybe the reason i'm so darn happy today is because it was 60 degrees out and i didn't wear a jacket outside. what up now, b-lo?

congrats to bob for guess/deducing correctly - the iPod's true owner is indeed johnny. although, with all of the reel big fish on there, it could just as easily have been bob's. and the pokemon songs might have made you think it was my sister's. when she was 8.

the shows i'm missing most are "life" and "pushing daisies." they're really good, in ways i can't describe. and i'm afraid to find out if "scrubs" is really done or not. cause then i would miss it too. oh, and i need to see more of pam and jim being cute together.

so, i have this interview tomorrow (everyone, please cross your fingers and think nice thoughts at 11:30 AM CST) for a job i really want, but i'm too excited about seeing a river get dyed green on saturday to properly prepare for my interview. this should've gone on the list yesterday, but i love st. patty's day a whole lot. it's my favorite holiday. there's no stress of buying presents, all i have to do is wear my favorite color and drink beer. a lot of beer. a lot of green beer. and shots. i like shots. so yeah, i can't begin to tell you how excited i am to celebrate my favorite holiday in my new city, and then celebrate the completion of BufBloPoFo, which is sure to become my second favorite holiday. as long as i can still wear green. and drink beer.

top 10

2008-03-12T21:59:00.004-05:00

wowzers, something about me that's unique to me and only me that no one else knows about me? that's a tough one. i'm pretty much an open book and even my existential crises are pretty run of the mill. i guess we'll have to settle for stuff that most people don't know.

i learned how to read when i was 2. i wasn't as gifted as this kid, but i guess it was still pretty shocking for my mom to see her adorable little toddler toddle up to her pointing at a "bad" word in a book and asking her what it meant. suddenly, no more bad books in the house.
if you get me really, really "i should be dead" drunk, i'll spontaneously remember all the french that i learned before english and start speaking it without realizing it.
when i was 9 i was in a mock commercial audition for my mom's friends who wanted to work on HBO. when i was 19, i was the PA for a mock commercial audition for for my boss' friends who wanted to work on HBO.
my favorite swear word is fuck cause it can be used as an adjective, adverb, verb and if you're really creative, noun! i love versatile things.
i think crab is way better than lobster. in fact, lobster is a waste of perfectly good butter.
i don't like butter.
i named my cat after my favorite supervillain.
i have a favorite supervillain.
i haven't bought a new pair of shoes since december and it's goddamn near killing me.
i don't own a TV and watch everything on my computer. works out much better than i expected it to.
i'm really glad i moved to chicago. :)

hey - you even got a bonus one!

cause for celebration!

2008-03-11T21:30:00.002-05:00

i made a friend!
i found a place that makes pretty darn good buffalo wings.
my tank is all set up, the water cleared up and the weather warmed up so i can bring home some fishies!
netflix has all of "buffy" for my viewing pleasure.
i have real job interviews this week and next. one with a CEO. kick ass.
i'm eating a sammich made out of bologna with a first name.

close enough for government work

2008-03-10T22:37:00.003-05:00

i've decided to take a different approach to my job hunting - get in on the government work. now that i can provide proof of residence in the city of chicago (as oppossed to the village?) i applied to a slew of city jobs. including, assistant commissioner of communiations to the department of the environment. hey, technically, i am qualified. and i would love nothing more than to plan parties to bring about the awareness of the environment to my new neighbors.

you see, i'm a bit of a hippee. i bathe everyday and like my clothes hemp free, but i really want to clean the oceans and save the rainforests and do some other stuff too, but i'm lazy. and that's why i throw out my pop bottles and have given up on tryng to find someone to take my moving boxes away and reuse them - they're all going to landfills. i guess if i had a desk job saving the environment, it would help now me come to terms with high school me, the me that spearheaded the recycling at hamburg high and was going to live on a greenpeace boat. i looked into the boat thing, they don't really like my kind. apparently, you have to be strong and healthy and a really good swimmer and not be uni-lingual.

bummer.

hometown pride

2008-03-09T23:13:00.002-05:00

i love buffalo. sure, it's got its faults, but it's pretty awesome too. i wish i would have spent more time doing the awesome stuff instead of complaining about the stuff that doesn't matter. and i can't believe i never made it to the carousel museum. wtf x a bajilliony on that one. i was craving mighty taco something fierce today, cause it's the bestest thing to eat after drinking til 5 AM (oh hells yeah, we found a bar that knows how to rock it. not that i remember where it was or it's name). but i do have to say, there is a ton of awesome mexican food all over the dang place. but sometimes you just really want the fake stuff.

i have a ton of favorite buffalo memories, things that i think could only happen in a mid-size city in the snowbelt. i think they need to be told in person as i kinda stink at story recounting in the written form, but one of my favorites was after a very large snowstorm while i still lived on franklin, with johnny and greg upstairs and desi's next door (how did we ever manage to make it to work?). RIP desi's. moving on, we were all drinking at desi's, most likely playing darts and in general, loving life. i decided to call it an early night (by leaving at 3:30 am) and while walking across the parking lot there was a beautiful, thick, pristine layer of snow. so i did what any normal person would do when the snow is thick enough to cover the hyperdermic needles and rubber gloves. i laid down and made a snow angel. and went to bed giggling like a little kid.

i just finished watching "beowulf." they really made kids read that in high school? really? maybe it's better in print. i feel bad for the queen, she just keeps getting passed around to men who sleep with demons. why couldn't they just find a gay king? he could be all like, "look, you're just not my type. maybe if you looked like brad pitt we could strike a deal, but i'm just gonna head home and find a cute slave instead. bye!"

funny that this ties in with the official topic for tomorrow, as i really did have a random question for anyone who felt like answering/commenting. how long does it take you to write a post? cause it takes me damn near forevers. i generally spend about 90 minutes thinking about it earlier in the day or the night before, then 45 minutes before i actually start typing. and the typing part can take anywhere from 20 to 55 minutes. my posts go through more drafts than my senior year thesis, which i'm sure says a lot about my priorities, and it's all true. just wondering if i'm the only one who spends half their waking hours posting, or if the rest of you are speedy literary genuises.

free beer!

2008-03-08T20:02:00.002-06:00

the only music i listen to is on my iPod. i have a subscription to rhapsody, but haven't turned it on in months, so i'm really just a patron of the arts, as oppossed to some one who appreciates and experiences them. maybe someday i'll be both.

the thing is, it's not really my iPod. i have it on indefinite loan. i think. and the person who truly owns it has a much different taste in music than i do. so, to be fair, the earbuds often act only as earplugs while i try to find a song i like. the other day was awesome (but not the day we were suppossed to mention everything that went right) because of the first 63 songs i liked more than half of them! i will list for you the first 10 songs that show up on the iPod, and if you're the first to guess who the true, rightful owner of this iPod is, i'll buy you a beer. and if you can find the thingy that lets me hook up the iPod to my computer so i can listen to some goddamn NIN on my way to a job interview, i'll buy you all the beer you can drink in one night!

"ice ice baby" - vanilla ice
"pac man" (techno version) - no clue
"tank!" - cowboy bebop
"breakfast at tiffany's" - deep blue something
"victory rap" - parappa the rappa
"flagpole sitta" - harvey danger
"the sounds of science" - beastie boys
"tetris theme" - less than jake
"gin & juice" - phish
"baby got back" - sir mix-a-lot
"poison" - bel biv devoe

i had to throw number 11 in there for the fun of it. and now i'm going to spend the rest of this post listening to it. i'm really glad nothing obvious showed up, that would sorta take all the fun out of it. trust me, it gets much worse. once i have a winner i'll be sure to post some real gems.

and remember - never trust a big butt and a smile. i'm gonna go turn rhapsody on now.

you've lost me

2008-03-07T23:18:00.002-06:00

what the f is up with you, "lost?" you kill charlie, show a bunch of future stuff, and now you spend all your time showing juliet's smug face? i hate her, and i hate you for giving her screentime. wah.

i was suppossed to go to a social tonight with the cult, but decided that it would be more fun instead to perform home improvements (fun isn't really the right word. i just didn't feel like drinking. it's so weird. i hope you'll still be friends with me).! first i was going to change the bulb in my bedroom light fixture. it's no biggie, i did it about a month ago (hey - i've been here for over a month! who lost money on that one?) and you just unsrew the bottom part and the shade - OMG THE ENTIRE LIGHT FIXTURE IS HANGING BY WIRES! ... ... i'm sure that'll be fine until tomorrow.

then i went to target. the target by me puts all other targets to shame. when you come visit me, i think i'll have to take you there. seriously. i bought a drapery rod, among other things, but i'm really just going to focus on the item essential to our story. i was in need of a drapery rod because i have curtains, ahem, drapes that match my comforter. i've never hung these drapes because when i lived in the purple house there were 3 bedroom windows and one set of drapes and when i lived in the other house i just didn't care and now i live here. so at 10:30 PM CST, i stood on my spinning office chair and attempted to drill a hole to hang the mounting hardware that would eventually hold the drapery rod from which my drapes would be all flowy and pretty. yeah, didn't quite work out. turns out, my exterior walls (the ones the windows are in) are solid concrete. or my screw gun sucks. either way, it took 20 minutes to make a puff of dust. i'm not quite sure what to do about this yet.

there's not much stuff in my bag that's unusual. i have an old school/classic/original iPod mini. a whole lotta resumes. i'm also carrying around my passport as it counts as two forms of ID for the I-9. i've also got a map of the trains in all their pretty colors in my bag, but i haven't had to use that in days (i had to take the blue line, cut me some slack). i also have some hand sanitizer ... ... that's been leaking all over a highlighter and a bobbypin. thanks BufBloPoFo - i never would have dug around in my bag and found that if it wasn't for you!

i have to go wash my hands now. they're covered in hand sanitizer.

that was fun!

2008-03-06T18:27:00.003-06:00

i didn't make any new life-long friends last night, but i didn't expect to either. i just wanted to have some fun and play some board games and converse with human beings. mission accomplished. with flare, i might add. however, i am finding it kind of odd that everyone keeps telling me that i need to go to "smut & eggs", which is when they make breakfast at midnight and watch 70's porn. don't get me wrong, i think that sounds awesome, i just don't know why everyone else assumes i think it's awesome. at any rate, i'm going to wait until i've at least made some month-long friends. that way i'll have someone to critique with. and someone to tell me what moves are to be done often or "not to be tried at home, ever." in case i forgot. cause i haven't had sex in a while. shut up.

i've had a few FI (fake interviews) this week that i feel pretty good about. they're less fake (LFI) because one of the recruiter firms searched me out (i was head hunted - woo hoo!) and the other firm specializes in HR, so that's cool. and i have a slew of calls to return tomorrow. couldn't do it today, i was too busy getting a facial, massage and shopping. i lead a hard life.

i watched every cartoon ever as a kid. i still love cartoons. that makes sense. but comic books had a way bigger hold on me. i loved to read (still do) and i loved cartoons and i LOVED the fact that they combined the two. my mom knew i loved the books but was terrified of the coin dealer who happened to sell some comic books in the corner and glared at you every time you walked in, so she would get me subscriptions for christmas (it worked better in those days). props to johnny for reminding me that i was no longer 8 and any comic book shopkeeper would be happy to see me.

and now i'm a lazy comic book shop reviewer! what an impact batman has had on me. first i rocked the sexy librarian look a la barbara gordon, and now i only date guys who have shark repellent on their belt. i'm sure that's normal.

in a rush

2008-03-05T17:27:00.003-06:00

my biggest pet peeve doesn't exist anymore. it used to be "people who don't understand that you stand on the right of an escalator if you're standing, so that people on the left can walk/jog up the escalator and escape your crappy perfume that much faster." chicagoians understand this. so do new yorkers and DCers and parisians. london gets it too, but they do it the opposite way. it's always opposite day on that island.

i'm not going to talk about the other things that annoy me. the list is way too long and i don't have that kinda time today.

i tried an experiment last night. i drugged myself (completely legally, with prescription drugs) so that i would go to bed at a normal time. then, i got up at a more normal, but still not completely normal, time. i think after a few more days of this i'll be ready to ruin all my hard work by the weekend.

tonight is my first event with the social club. i'm pretty sure it's not a cult. at least, not the kinda cult that says you have to die to have everlasting life. i'm pretty sure this is the kinda cult that says you have to drink to have everlasting fun. sign me up! oh wait, i'm already signed up. game night is the theme tonight. i love board games. i really need to get in at the monopoly table and kick some ass. i'm sure that'll endear me to everyone.

and in honor of our tireless leader:

my clothes are famous

2008-03-04T19:54:00.002-06:00

i have no idea who should play me in a movie. definitely not me. i would be much better suited for being the key grip or maybe in charge of craft services. but certainly not acting. best to leave that to the pros. take my clothes for instance, they are awesome at acting. i recently saw my favorite skirt in the movie "the ten." a movie so terrible that i refuse to link to it. but hey, we all got to start somewhere. a much loved cardigan of mine got a start as a cameo on "the office." off to a much better start.

i can't believe i was horrified by "the office" at first. i guess it was the HR jerk in me just constantly freaking out over michael scott's antics. so glad i got over that.

i'm watching "logan's run." man, this movie is messed up. i'm not going to link to this movie cause it's too soon to tell if it's worth linking to yet. although, the costumes are pretty choice.

catching up

2008-03-02T20:13:00.002-06:00

if i'm going to properly join BufBloPoFo, i guess i should comment on the topics that have been recommended to us:

1. i got my first blog in january 2003 at easyjournal. in july i switched to livejournal cause all my friends in nyc were doing it and easyjournal was sorta lame. then i stopped using livejournal in august 2005 cause some jerks were reading it and making mean comments. but i missed blogging so i joined blogspot in december 2005 cause all my buffalo friends were doing it. i chose this theme cause i love polka dots. i'm pretty straightforward like that.

2. i talked about my best gift ever over here, but to sum up, the best gift i ever got was a scrapbook that my sister made for me. most thoughtful gift ever. that kid rocks.

i am the laziest person i know. you would think that with all this spare time i have that i would be doing all kinds of crazy things. nope. us lazy people are just as content to sit around in our jammies and surf the web. which is not why i moved to chicago. it's not like the web is any different out here than it is in buffalo. the real problem is that i don't have a job and i've fallen victim to classic unemployment syndrome. i have no schedule and sad to say, no motivation to make one for myself. cleaning day used to be sunday. now it's saturday, sunday or monday. craziness! so, to compromise with myself (since i'm not going to get up at 7 everyday for no reason) i'm going to do something (anything) everyday. because really, my office chair is way too comfy for my own good.

so today i went to a comic book store (you know where you can read about it) and then i went to see "vantage point." i had a really good vantage point for this movie, middle, no one in front of me. so let me tell you my view: it's terrible. poorly executed and the acting was nothing spectacular either. they even made the 'splosions boring!

i also saw a woman walking her cat outside. the cat seemed to like it a lot (for reals!) which made it seem less strange. i would give that a try with my cat, but she's even lazier than i am. i at least enjoy walking once i'm off my butt, but ol' harls only walks to find a comfier place to lay down. or to meow in my face to prove her continued displeasure with her diet kitty food. too bad she can't meow at me when i'm outta da hizz-ouse!

dear diary

2008-03-01T19:05:00.002-06:00

i gots a present in the mail today! and i didn't even have to order it myself. seems UB feels so bad about continually screwing up my diploma that they mailed me a key chain, leather-bound notepad and an ugly polo shirt. it's the thought that counts. i'd sorta prefer if they thought about sending me my 1098-Ts, but it's nice to send me presents too.

let's see, what have i been up to. i subscribed to netflix! and then to take advantage of that subscription i bought an external dvd-rom and some RAM. and then i installed them. it required minimal arguing with the computer, once we agreed to disagree as to whether or not the second RAM slot should work. and now i watch all kinds of movies. some instantly due to the bountifulness of netflix. and i'm also watching "the office" right now. never seen it before. and i can honestly say, i would rather stay unemployed than work with michael or dwight. of course, if jim was there, i might put up with it. for a day. but i do love office olympics! one time, when i was very very young and the only other person in the office was also very very young we raced in our office chairs. i don't remember who won, probably no one as we were too busy laughing. if i woulda known that b a start was cool instead of scary back then, maybe we woulda asked him to play too. or maybe not. he has really long legs and woulda kicked our butts.

so i've had some quasi-interviews. i call them quasi- cause they're with headhunters and search firms, not with people who are actually going to pay me. but i've gotten pretty good at not being modest. at the last QI i think i told the interviewer that if she can't find me a job, she's an embarrassment to her profession. except i said it really nice and then we talked about shoes so she still loved me. and i had a phone interview today. today! on a saturday! strange. sadly, PIs don't count either in my book.

since it would seem that the "make friends by getting a job" tactic isn't going to pan out soon enough for my tastes, i've decided to take the "buy your friends" tactic. i joined a social club. these better be some pretty good friends cause they don't come cheap. but i think it'll be a ton of fun. especially the part where i get to go hang-gliding and snorkeling and rock climbing and white-water rafting. and did i mention the pub crawls? yeah, apparently you have to like to drink in order to join this club. did i mention that you get to come too when you're in town? i think this will work out quite nicely...

oh, and i went back to school on thursday! i'm working on my second MBA, courtesy of goose island brewers. only this time around, it's a master's in beer appreciation. for every 10 different beers i try, i get a 64oz jug of beer to take home. 35 beers and i get a shirt and my name on a plaque. and every time i order a beer after that, it's served in a special MBA glass.

i've been super tired lately. i think it's cause i'm drinking far less dr. pepper than i used to. i don't know why, but it just doesn't taste as good as it used to (sacrilege, i know). hopefully, i'll learn to survive without soon. no one likes a sleepy rock-climber.

have no fear

2008-02-24T18:20:00.002-06:00

the gabsosteel blog is not going anywhere. at least not the blogspot one. the livejournal and easyjournal blogs, well, those have long since been laid to rest.

i will do my best to keep up both blogs - and at least one of them for a straight 14 days come march 1! i really REALLY want the subscription girl blog to stick. but i have to admit, my first outing was such a success, i sorta want to ride those laurels for the rest of my life. but, i'll go back in the field. unfortunately, for other residents of chicago who love comics, i'm probably going to do most of it during the day, instead of being a particpating member of the workforce. which kinda makes me wonder what i'm going to do once i start contributing to the economy again. eh, we can deal with that later.

i don't know why planes don't want me to fly to chicago anymore, but my flight on friday was 3 hours late. i'll be sure to check my flight's departure time before i depart for the flight from now on. at least i had a sorta decent book. but when i did get home there was a present waiting for me - my diploma! i only graduated 9 months ago so i was definitely psyched to get it. even though i should've gone straight to bed as it was now after midnight, i ripped the packaging off the frame i bought for it and then opened the envelope. they spelled my name wrong. but, seeing as how it could be another bajillion months before i get a new diploma, i decided to frame and hang it anyway. it looks good.

rock on

2008-02-21T19:03:00.002-06:00

coming home has done me wonders. not only have i been suitably reminded of what it's like to talk to humans, but i feel ready to go back and tackle chicago. i, ladies and gentlemen, now have a plan. lucky for me (and you?) it involves copious amounts of blogging. over here though. and unlike my other blog (don't click the link!) project, i think i'll keep up on this one. although, we are coming up on the first anniversary of my functioning nose, so maybe i'll finish that blog up in commemoration.

one question, to participate in BufBloPoFo, do i have to blog daily in each blog, or can i just pick one for the day?

oh, and if you have any suggestions on how i can make subscription girl famous faster (or her website less craptacular looking) i promise to give you shoutouts when i'm, i mean she's, famous.

hey buffalo!

2008-02-20T11:30:00.002-06:00

oh, i missed you. for all your faults, you are a city that knows what's up. if it's cold, there should also be snow. otherwise it's just a waste of the cold. and your drinks are cheap. and your people are really, supremely good at giving pep talks. although they suck at making bets. but that's really more of an endearing quality than a negative thing.

i realize i was only gone for two weeks (almost to the hour), but i really needed to visit. and not just cause my papa was thoughtful enough to have surgery while a friend of mine was turning an important age, but cause i just needed to know that i was still capable of having a conversation with a human, and not just my cat. cause for a while there, i was really worried that harlee was going to start talking back. in english.

but all in all, it's really comforting to know how much has stayed the same while everything is different. it just gives me a warm, mushy feeling in my belly to know that i can come home again. or maybe that's just my morning tea.

if you don't have anything nice to say...

2008-02-18T20:54:00.002-06:00

...then just post some lame pictures and piss and moan about it anyway.

remember when i used to blog? there was a time when i would have been the first to sign up for the BufBloPoFo, but i don't really have anything to write about. at least, nothing you'd want to read.

might as well get this out of the way. i am the worst possible person to send off to a new city by herself. oh sure, it was lots of fun to play tabletop shuffleboard with the cute guy, but umm, that's all i got. seriously. yes, i know i should just go to a bar and make some random friends like i usually do, but in all honesty, i am so incredibly lonely that even if i felt like going to a bar alone, everyone would take one look at me and then quickly look away from my pathetic visage, and then i would become even more pathetic because i would be stuck drinking at a bar alone. very alone. so alone that the bartender doesn't know my 4 favorite drinks and no one's gonna show up anytime soon, regardless of how much texting i do. that's really alone.

so, now you know my big life secret. i'm really shy when i'm not around my friends. if you find that shocking - think of it this way: have you ever seen me when i'm not with my friends? kinda hard to do if you are one and lack the necessary spy equipment, huh? there, that's finally off my chest. thanks, i feel a lot better now. except for the part where i'm still surrounded by 4 million strangers.

"then go see the sights!" you may say. allow me to counter: i've already visited all of the attractions that i have even the mildest interest in, except for the modern art galleries, which are really only fun if i have someone to make fun of them with. speaking of which, i can't believe i never made it to the guggenheim in nyc. bollocks.* i was going to go to this, but then it was 45 degrees out - and who wants to look at a bunch of ice when it's too hot out for gloves?!

so, i apologize in advance, but when i come home, i'm not going to have any tales of chicago-related awesomeness to regale you with (other than indoor shuffleboard and leona's lasagna). we're just going to have to resort to our old standards: why french vodka is the best, how cool batman is, why i can never have too many shoes and surveying the women folk on how many beauty products they don't realize they have. on the plus side, i have now seen every bloody episode of "lost;" so we can totally add how much i hate juliet and miss charlie to our repertoire.

*in case you were curious, i haven't pulled a britney and started speaking in a british accent. it's just that after watching all of that "lost" i find that i really prefer the queen's english when it comes to swearing. plus, it's safer for the kids at home.

dr. dolittlette

2008-02-15T16:53:00.002-06:00

on wednesday i walked onto a train and saw a bird!

the poor thing was so scared, i was going to try to catch it and take it outside the train at the next stop, you know, after i took a pic or two. good thing i didn't - a woman came on at the next stop and told me that sometimes birds have heartattacks when you catch them and then you're stuck holding a dead bird. so instead we herded our lil' avian friend off the train. miraculously, the train driver kept the doors open long enough for us to be good animal samaritans. i thought that was a pretty good way to start my day.

also, i am so addicted to "lost" that it's replaced my need for caffeine. it's damn weird.

happy valentine's day!

2008-02-14T22:11:00.002-06:00

sorry i've been MIA. it's not because i moved far away and forgot all about you. rather, i miss you very much. i've been kinda busy. mostly trying to convince myself that i live here and i'm not on vacation here. when my furniture arrived it sorta helped it sink in. i don't know about you, but i don't often take my couch on vacation with me.

in addition to the library card and dominic's (think wegman's, but smaller (i.e. less intimidating) and with better music and way more booze) club card i now also have a salon and hair stylist. this is very important and something that i was worried about. no one likes breaking in a new doctor, but it's even more scary to have to let someone have control over what you're going to look like. i konw that sounds vain, but i don't care. regardless, i am thrilled to report that britney from OK is way better that just ok. i don't know what she did, but she has completely erased any desire i had to go back to being a redhead. plus, it's kinda cute that harlee and i now have the same color hair. what's that about owners eventually looking like their pets?

also, here is the cutest picture ever taken that does not involve mini-versions of my friends:

at least i'm still laughing...

2008-02-06T15:10:00.000-06:00

which may prove i'm insane. before i even stepped foot into my new apartment i slipped on some ice, dropped my cat and suitcase and ass-planted myself on the ground. and my ankle hurt. and then it swelled. and after i was done crying and otherwise being way too girly for my own good, i went to the ER. such a nice ER it was! the woman next to me whose son also hurt her ankle heard me complaining on my cell, which i was not supposed to be on, about how hungry i was and how all i wanted was a snickers, so she went and got me a snickers! and the really cute resident with the hot accent was kind enough to not look grossed out when he saw my non-pedicured toes. i was so embarrassed. i know the ol' addage is "always wear clean underwear in case you're in a car accident" (and i do!) but i really think "keep your toes pretty in case you sprain your ankle" is going to be a new motto for me.

they also gave me vicodin for my ankle. now, i have to say, this stuff is lame. not only does it not give me the cool high i've heard about, but it also doesn't do anything for the pain. i think i'm going to sell it and then stay "on vacation" for a while longer. know any buyers?

then, to add to the fun, when i did get in my apartment, i didn't have a fridge (i have one now). i also can't get into the building cause my access card doesn't work, but they're apparently working on that one. i've been told that if i keep taking what chi-town dishes out, it'll eventually stop being a jackass and start being welcoming. anytime now would be fine by me.

other than that, things are ok. furniture isn't here yet, and i kinda hope it doesn't come until next week cause i can't get a money order until then and they won't let me have my furniture then anyway. on the other hand, i'd love to have my stuff now cause i really want to settle in this place and make it homey. that's a desire i never had at my last place (clearly) but this is different. i like it here. both the city and my pad. it's still incredibly weird to me to think that i live here and aren't just going home in a few days. it's snowing and it's really pretty, so i think i'm going to gimp around and take some pics, or go take a nap. either way.

but all in all, it'll work out. just so long as my withdrawal from "lost" doesn't kill me first...

oh, you guys...

2008-02-03T19:50:00.000-06:00

so thanks for the fantastic weekend, everyone! not only was it awesome to not have to pay for anything for the last two weeks and to get presents (i love presents!) but the bestest part by far was just to see everyone. i have no idea how brides at weddings do it - all the running around and trying to say hi to everyone. maybe brides don't spend as much time doing shots.

so, here we are at 9 PM. i'm watching "lost" because, well, it's what i do. in 23 hours some guys are gong to come and take all of my worldly possessions and gently place them on the back of a truck and drive them to chicago and then with equal care place them in my new digs (i hope). i guess this makes this the last blog that i blog while i live in buffalo. wierd. i wonder what living in a new city/state/time zone will be like. i remember being terrified when i moved to canisius and look at how great that worked out! i met all of you fine people and had oodles of fun. so i'm not freaking out anymore. sure, i'm gonna miss all of you and it's going to be really strange, but it's also new and exciting! i'm fairly certain i'll spend monday night sitting in my new apartment going, "whoa - i live here." and then the next night is mardi gras, which means i normally need to take the day after that off of work, but that's not really an issue at this point. but i think for mardi gras i'll go check out some of my new neighborhood bars and see what's what in my new hometown.

so, before i suffer without internet for a new days, there's a couple things i have to ask - how do i pronounce the name of the state i'm moving to? and what salon should i go to? i'm thinking i should go back to being a fake irish lass before st. patty's day.

and thanks again for the presents!

second verse, same as the first

2008-02-01T14:04:00.000-06:00

my mistake - i thought when i signed a contract and paid a deposit that you were like, required to hold up your end of the bargain. apparently, i was very wrong. instead, you get to come and pick up my furniture and stuff on monday, which is famous for not being friday. so now i'm going to sit on my bum and watch "lost" and maybe even take a nap. and then, seeing as how the ceiling in my spare room leaked all over the box filled with clothes, i guess it's really considerate of you to give me time to do laundry. so, thanks, i was kinda bored with packing.

so not kidding

2008-02-01T12:30:00.000-06:00

moving is a pain in the butt. and all other body parts as well. the movers were suppossed to come today, but instead they're coming tomorrow - which is when i was suppossed to be on a plane. kinda glad they're not coming today cause since i spend all of my time blowing my nose (from being sick - i'm over being weepy... for now) i'm not making much progress. and i really wasn't really too thrilled with the idea of getting on a plane hungover, so that's another plus. oh, and if i kept my saturday flight, then i would have to ask someone to sit in my apartment and wait for some movers to show up. i know each and every one of you is desperately wishing that i had picked you. not to mention the fact that with the weather here and there, delays are rather large, and i've gots a cat with me. oh, and as i mentioned before, i'm sick, and if i don't get somewhat better before i fly, there's a really good chance i'll blow both my eardrums. i have a feeling arriving in chicago temporarily deaf is not a great way to start.

but don't worry, i'm not contagious. and i am drinking tonight.

so, now i fly out on monday afternoon. the movers assured me that they aren't delivering all of my finely wrapped items on monday, afterall. woulda been nice if they coulda told me that 2 weeks ago, but you know, it's not a huge deal.

so, umm, what are you guys doing on saturday?

for all to see

2008-01-29T19:40:00.000-06:00

this drawing caused quite the hubabaloo (or other mishmash of syllables) at work today. those who didn't receive it felt very left out, once they learned of its existence. perhaps they should have tried sucking less if they wanted the invite.*

at any rate, i love this pic. lots. not only does it sum me up very well (right down to my sparkly pointed shoes) but i also got to be outgrabes' first attempt at drawing boobs - clearly in my new bra, nonetheless. she done good! next up: drawing horses from the front.

*for those of you who live out of state - you don't need to suck less. you just need to live less far away. or not. really, it's up to you.

waterproof mascara may be a good investment

2008-01-27T14:40:00.000-06:00

i almost pulled the plug on the whole thing friday morning. seriously. the ratio of "i'm so excited!" to "i can't stop sobbing" has drastically shifted in the other direction. i had to wash my face three times before i could leave for work because i kept finding mascara on my chin. i think i'm dehydrated. it broke my heart last night when my sister just wouldn't let me go. she wants to come visit me a week after i move. i might keep her. she said that'd be fine. her boyfriend looked sad 'til i said he could come too.

i know i can always come back. and i think that's the only thing keeping me sane. i promised myself i would stay in chicago until august. i'm sure it'll be great and august will come and go, but for now, i'm absolutely terrified. it took me 28 years to make friends with all of you and the idea of having to start over, well, i don't like it.

so, yeah, please don't roll your eyes too much when i make my gajillionth trip to the bathroom to blow my nose during my bon voyage party. i'd say something cute about "it's my party and i'll cry if i want to" but then you'd get that song stuck in your head and i wouldn't want to do that to you. but, on the plus side, my eyes turn green and my lips get all angelina jolie-y when i cry, so that could be good for pictures, right?

making a list and checking it twice

2008-01-24T19:45:00.000-06:00

the first month's rent is paid.

the movers have my deposit (best news for you - they are doing all of the loading and unloading!)

the one-way flight is booked (i just need to a make a little passport for harlee).

the vet appt is made.

and the packing is going ok.

i amuse myself

2008-01-22T22:03:00.000-06:00

turns out that rob (who is clearly a relative of bob's) is at o'hare. this makes sense, seeing as how i haven't seen him since i started flying midway.

also, this bra has changed my life. you should go buy one or nine if you're a lady; and gentlemen, you should be one or nine for your ladies.

update!

2008-01-20T16:57:00.000-06:00

so far, the great estate (or fire, if you're bob) sale of 2008 has brought me a sum total of $396.75 and some most excellent beauty products. not bad my friends, not bad. the storage room, err, livng room is emptying out nicely. but don't be shy - come and take more of my stuff! in the next day or so i will start ranting with a "it's free. here's a bag, take as much as you want, just get it away from me" alternated with "can we please take another carload to goodwill?" cause in all seriousness, who needs an electric, light-up aquarium? you, that's who.

i'm not good at packing. this probably brings up feelings of hatred and violence in some of you, but it's true. and it's not for lack of trying. i really am spending a whole lot of time packing lately, i just don't really know how to do it. like, how much padding do pictures need? is it more time/space effective to keep my clothes on the hangers, or take them off? and why is my cat snuffling like she has emphysema?

i also need to apply for a new social security card. i feel like i might need one of those someday. anyone know how i do that?

ok, back to work.

i really should check my voicemail more often

2008-01-17T22:02:00.001-06:00

at 3:39 PM, today, i was approved for my very first chicagoland apartment - without a job or a cosigner. ha ha, suckas!

welcome home

2008-01-17T20:30:00.000-06:00

so, what've you been up to this week? really - that sounds like fun. me? oh, not much. went to chicago, applied for an apartment. you want to see it? well, too bad you can't. they're busy putting in my new carpeting and cabinets. but you can look at this one, it's just like mine, only no one will ever walk on my carpet with shoes. yeah, it's a bit more north than i was hoping for, but all in all, i can't wait to live there.

so, now that i have a place to live (paperwork pending approval) i get to dedication all of my time to worrying about the real important things. like, how am i going to make some friends. that's kinda what i wanted a job for. yes, yes, i know i need a job to pay for my sweet bachlorette pad and to procure those deliciously expensive martinis i so love, but i figured an extra coat of mascara and a low cut shirt could at least take care of the latter. heck, we got free shots on tuesday and we weren't even wearing mascara and had shirts on that came up to our noses. i think chicago is my kinda town.

but i'm really worried about finding people i'll like spending time with. yeah, i'm worried about finding people who like spending time with me too, but unless everyone's been lying to me, i'm apparently a ton of fun to hang out with. it's everyone else who can be really lame. i mean, look at how long it took me to find all of you non-lame people! oh, and seriously, i am bummed that i won't be able to walk to 44 anymore. not even if i doggy-paddle too.

on an entirely different note, read this book. i'm reading it going, why does this sound so familiar? oh, i know! it sounds exactly like my blog (i.e. full of the self-depreciating tangents you all know and love) - if my blog was about grey goose... and sex with hot black men. she better not steal my corporate sponsor.

full-assed

2008-01-11T20:33:00.000-06:00

i rarely do anything half-assed. well, that is actually a terrible lie. i just don't do anything i consider important half-assed, and i consider few things important. that being said, i have applied to nearly 1,000 jobs (actually, i have net-minions to do this for me, and a great many of the jobs are "2nd shift press operator", but, you get the idea) by staying up far too late. my wrist hurts from all the clicking leading to my having sympathetic feelings for those addicted to porn and afflicted with tendonitis. but do i take a break to heal my poor wrist? no! i instead show the same flagrant disregard for moderation and send my leasing minion a list of 27 apts. i want to look at and email 30 people who have sublets i'd like to see. and i have to tell you, i am really entranced by words like "workout room," "bike storage," and "doorman." couldn't tell you why - it's not like i workout or have a bike, and i can open my own doors, thank you very much. look at me being all empowered and shit.

perhaps i should be going to chicagoland (isn't that the cutest nickname you've ever heard for a city that i didn't make up?!) for more than two days...

i was serious, ya know...

2008-01-10T18:21:00.000-06:00

i really am looking to sell just about everything i own. don't believe me? come to my house on thursday the 17 and take a look at everything i'm getting rid of... furniture, electronics (surround sound, anyone?), glasses of the martini variety and of course, a disgusting amount of clothes. everything will be incredibly low priced (in some cases, the cost is merely enduring my hugs as you take it away) and we can barter too! you have makeup you'll never wear... i have clothes you'll never wear but still want to own.

so come on down around 6 PM, have some drinks and then we'll head to 44 to meet the boys and celebrate how much fun we just had!

so tell your friends, tell your enemies, heck - tell your frenemies - just come on down and take my stuff away cause movers are much more expensive than you.

everything must go!

2008-01-08T18:21:00.000-06:00

i'm currently faced with the fact that are not enough hours in the day to do everything i want/need to do. work takes up approximately 9 of those hours. sleep is eating up 8-9 hours. then there's the job searching, packing and cleaning. and i want to hang out with my friends and loyal readers!

i hate to say it, but this current job, of which i have 15 more days is at the bottom of the priority list. but lets face, it's really been that way for the last oh, 10 months? i've always wondered what it's like to work part time. i think now's about time to find out.

this weekend i am going to make 3 piles in my apartment. stuff i'm taking with me cause i don't know how to live an enjoyable life without it, stuff i'm making my parents store cause while i don't need it with me i need to know i can visit it, stuff i'm selling/giving to you since you've been coveting it since the day we met and while you may stop talking to me once you actually get it - it's a risk i'm willing to take. and yes, i'm including the gold top from BR. yes, that one.

i need a new profile pic. i think it's time the olives get a rest.

btw, when you tell me how awesome my blog is, it makes me really nervous that i'll write a lame post and then you won't want to read my blog anymore cause it's no longer awesome. but i really like being told how awesome i am, so, maybe you should just compliment me more so i get used to it?

let the games begin!

2008-01-05T14:03:00.000-06:00

this weekend marks the birthday trifecta. the triple crown of birthdays, if you will. who knows what adventures will ensue when the humanist, b a start and the automatic rebalancer all get together. i can only assume it will be momentous. and may possibly even encourage one, or all three, to post.

here's hoping i live to read them.

stolen!

2008-01-04T17:58:00.001-06:00

i stole this from a blog that i adore. imitation is the laziest form of flattery!

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
made difficult decisions that were actually good! for me! i could get used to doing that.
i also joined an online dating service. and then 3 minutes later freaked out and deleted my account... mostly cause all my "matches" were, well, freaks.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i steadfastly refuse to make new years' resolutions (there is a post in draft stage all about this). but i do vaguely remember promising myself that NYE 2007 would be better than NYE 2006. and it was, in a bajillionish ways.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
just the one!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
just the none!

5. What countries did you visit?
canadia. i love that place.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
a job that i enjoy. and plans to do fun things i hadn't done before.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
memorial day. tis the day i finally figured out what i wanted and didn't want in this life o' mine. and then may 30, which is when i did something about it.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
umm, hmm, does #7 count? i mean, that was sorta a big deal to me. oh, and i gots letters after my name now.

9. What was your biggest failure?
umm, hmm, does being naive count?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
christ. in 2007 i had surgery twice. and after a brief reprieve from the ear infucktions of doom, my sinuses decided it was their turn to hate on me.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my precious.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
lots of peoples! i think i've documented the celebrating in past posts. and i'll do it again tonight, just to be sure.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
mine, once or twice. and others, once or twice dozen.

14. Where did most of your money go?
j.crew, grey goose, southwest airlines.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
moving to chicago :)

16. A quick mix that will always remind you of 2007?
anything that starts with "lets play the sonos game!"
but really, it's just "a little respect" by erasure that sticks out.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? thinner
c) richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
doing whever the f i felt like. hard to believe i actually held back, huh?

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
crying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
making gingerbread houses with my sister and swearing up a storm. playing board games with the fam and eating until i can't move, and then having more family fun!

21. How will you be spending New Years?
breakfast brunch with mom and sister, running errands with sister and then getting ready for a fabulous party with one of my college roommates, going to said fabulous party. oh, and turning 28... yikes!

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
i, well, i don't know. if you figure it out, let me know please.

23. How many one-night stands?
none. i plan on keeping it that way.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
dexter, and now journeyman

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
i don't think i actually hate anyone. partly cause it takes so much effort and i'm really lazy, but mostly cause i realized it's totally pointless.

26. What was the best book you read?
do comics count? no? well, then wicked. it was good, in a way i didn't expect.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
that i made on my own? dude, i gots people to do that for me.

28. What did you want and get?
so many lovely things!

29. What did you want and not get?
my freakin' diploma to come in the mail! seriously, what is the hold up?

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
superbad. i almost blew a gasket from laughing!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
see #21. or, to sum up, i had a really great and lovely time. i was 27, but then i turned 28.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
oh, there's no need to talk about that.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
j.crewlicous and/or slutting it up. :)

34. What kept you sane?
the fact that my brain chemistry is such that i'm not insane? oh, and having fantastic friends and family. those are good to have too. but the brain thing is clutch.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
christian bale. but it's a mature fancying. i really just want to have a pint with the guy and get to know him.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the fact that some want to make birth control and abortion illegal. one helps prevent the other, and the other is a choice i hope to never have to make, but i'd like the option available, please. especially for everyone else.

37. Who did you miss?
i always miss all of my friends and family when they're not around. but i can't be everywhere at once!

38. Who was the best new person you met?
the humanist. sure, i met him in 2006, but we didn't actually talk until summer 2007. and, i too, really enjoyed spending time with people i had previously met.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
times when it is a bad idea to wear high heels:
going out drinking w/o eating first
navigating steep, muddy hills
bar-hopping in chicago

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
well, she was an american girl
raised on promises
she couldn't help thinking there
was a little more to life
somewhere else
after all it was a great big world
with lots of places to run to

and there was another one that i realized last night, but 4 martinis later, i don't remember.

squee!

2008-01-03T19:59:00.000-06:00

have you ever seen anything more adorable in your life?!

who wants to let me watch them play?

the most wonderful...

2007-12-26T19:04:00.000-06:00

i don't really know if it's the most wonderful time of the year. don't get me wrong, i love a month of parties followed by christmas and my birthday in the same week. but i tend to think that anytime you can spend with the ones you love is the most wonderful time, so i guess i'm pretty lucky that that happens more than once a year.

of course, there are the presents. and i do love getting presents, but i really, truly, not kidding at all, prefer to give them. we did christmas a little different this year- not all the cousins exchanged (all whopping 4 of us) and the aunts/uncles didn't exchange with the nieces/nephews. everyone saved money, but i wanted to buy more stuff for people! hopefully, we'll all be gainfully employed next year and can go back to wanton expressions of selflessness.

remember when i mentioned that i love getting presents? it's the thought that counts. and it's really the quality of the thought that really counts (which is not to say that i don't appreciate the bottles of lotion from coworkers, but you know...) this year i got two of the most thoughtful gifts i've ever received, from someone who has really grown into one of the most thoughtful people i've ever met. my dear baby sister, formerly known as bratty maddie, not only got me one supremely badass batman hoodie, but also made me a ginormous scrapbook of us growing up through the years and the rest of our family. she wanted me to know how much she loves me and will miss me and make sure i had something to help me when i get homesick far away.

some of my haircuts may have been atrocious, but this book is really wonderful.

all i want for christmas is...

2007-12-24T14:49:00.001-06:00

the following. any by "all i want for christmas" i mean "all i want on ebay or in a store in this time zone." it's a tad late for christmas wishes, i realize.

LOTDK - annual #5
Batman & Robin - issues 2 and 9 and on and on
Crime Bible - issues 3-5
Four Horsemen - issues 5 and 6
Amazons Attack! - the whole shebang
Wedding Special - all the wedded bliss

and, even more importantly than feeding my comic craving, i hope each and every one of you and yours has a fantastic holiday. enjoy!