season's greetings

I just can’t seem to get into the holiday spirit this year. I’ve got pretty dresses, snow, parties and warm holiday tidings, but it’s just not doing it for me. Which is probably why I did such a bang-up job planning the office holiday party. Whoops.

At any rate, there are at least two people who are in the holiday, or at least the nerd-each-day spirit. I was sent 2 awesome presents, which I’m sharing with you in the interest of holiday cheer. Enjoy!

The darkest Knight
The joke’s on you

With friends like these, who needs Google?!

does this taste ok to you?

the problem with being sick and congested is that everything tastes like crud, or, if you're lucky, like cardboard. the real problem with this is that you can't tell if it's your out of commission nose, or if the food really has taken a turn for the worse.

after 9 days of this i'm feeling much better and can breathe and smell again. the troubling part is i had some frozen pizza for lunch and it still tasted like yech. so, my sense of smell is either still jacked up, or i'm having a very delayed reaction to food poisoning. guess which one i'm hoping for.

time flies...

this is the time of year when most people are counting down the days until their birthday (20 for me) or the days until the birth of someone else (14 for jesus, 7 for a wookie, i do believe). i, however, am counting down how many days i have left to wear a roz ID badge. that'd be 12.

it's gonna be really flippin' wierd to no longer be an employee of good ol' RPCI after 6 years, 6 months, 23 days and 8 hours. on the other hand, it's really about damn time.

so, now i just need to answer the following question: what's scarier? moving to c-go without a job lined up or moving home to the 'burbs after 10 years.

i'm leaning towards the pretty city. if i'm going to broke, i might as well do it someplace fun. and if it doesn't work out, the 'burbs'll still be there.

finally, a plan i can follow through on

i want to send this guy money and have him make this a full movie.


and what the heck - these guys too. hopefully they'll make a sequel that has an ending.



so, i've been challenged to write a post that's only about sports and none of that feelings stuff. which i think is a great idea. what good has talking about feelings ever done? i'm pretty sure it's caused war, famine and global warming. but seriously, it's certainly not helping me find a job, figure out what i want out of life, or get my laundry done - so what's the point? from now on, it'll be nothing but facts on this here blog. nothing open to interpretation and certainly nothing emotional.

as far as i can tell, the sabres are doing not so good this year. 13 wins and 14 losses so they're just shy of doing adequately. at leas they're doing better than the leafs. canada may have the stronger dollar but we have the stronger team. w00t! but, if the last ten games are any indication of what the rest of the season holds, i think the sabres are really headed in the right direction. too early for me to say anything about the playoffs, but i'm sure if they keep skating buffalo will keep being proud.

alright, cut me some slack. i'm new at this.

we're going on an adventure, grungie

i have no idea why I’m so intent on finding a music genre that characterizes my personality. maybe it’s because it’s the only thing i have to do that even mildly exercises my brain, but none the less, i think i found one. it’s grunge. granted, i bathe daily and haven’t worn flannel in years, but i think grunge really sums up my penchant for stomping around and finding annoyance with everything due to my insurmountable levels of angst. plus, I’m so congested that no one can understand what I’m saying, so eddie veder and i are really kindred spirits. glad we got that one solved.

today was one of those days that just seemed to drag on forever. probably cause it was my last day as a secretary. people have asked me how i feel about that. the answer?

:)

except, you know, like more so. and right side up. so, as one does when they are a bored and under worked secretary (i will miss the under worked part, but not the bored part) i spent all afternoon emailing my bff. and then my bff and i decided to hang out when i got out of work, which just made the day seem even longer. so we go to dinner and engage in terribly inappropriate conversation and come back to my place so she can be terrified of my cat. my cat once ripped her finger open and now kelly will only enter my house whilst wearing gloves. that should be fun in the summer. at any rate, we decided we should go see a movie. “wanted” hasn’t come out yet which made me sad cause I really need something to get the awful taste of “hitman” out of my mouth. "awake" it was cause everything else wasn’t starting for another 364+6461 hours and i really wanted to see if anakin the mannequin learned how to act yet. and how! the movie was really good. subtle, yet entertaining with a twisty plot. the only problem is that whenever kelly and i watch movies together we always want to do whatever the lead characters do. like, when we saw "gone in 60 seconds" we wanted to be car thieves (yeah, i know) or when we saw "mission: impossible" we wanted to be secret agents. but it’s not like if we saw a dinosaur movie we’d want to be dinosaurs. at any rate, i can assure you, i do not want to be a victim of "anesthetic awareness." yep, you can count me out - just cause i like to tell each of you, with special attention to superfluous adjectives, what surgeons do to me does not mean i actually want to experience the superfluous adjectives. christ, where would be the fun in that?!

so, on the way home, we had to take a detour and the phrase "we’re going on an adventure" was uttered, which made me start talking in an inbred unicorn voice, which then meant that i had to drag kelly back inside to cower from my cat once more to watch charlie the unicorn. and pearl the landlord. i then released her so i could regale each of you with these wonderful tales.

hopefully, i'm still angsty enough for my blog to be entertaining - and for me to maintain my new label.

btw, these decongestants my doc gave me really work! and when he said they might make me hyper, he wasn't kidding. but it's gotta wear off soon, right?

they grow up so fast

i'm so proud of the humanist. it's like he's a real blogger now. almost brings a tear to my eye. i have to admit, he's doing much better at whining than i am at linking. i'm a failure when it comes to finding new websites. so, with that, i give you this. i find it hysterical. there are probably only three other people in the multi-verse who agree, but the rest of you should be able to tolerate it.

that mcginnis is a wiley one.

i went to a shmooze event tonight. it was way more fun than i expected it to be. but i don't know why i was surprized. i went with a good friend which is really all that's needed to make anything fun. granted, i've never been held at gunpoint or stuck in an elevator for days, but i'm sure even that would have comedic moments that could be laughed about years later after lots of therapy. at any rate, i was talking to the commander today about where she wants to hang out for her berfday. she wanted to go to a euro lounge. i was like, "oh year, we've got 17 of those on my block alone. are you kidding me?!" but i finally got her to understand - it doesn't matter where we go, it'll be a blast cause she'll be with a ton of good friends. but just to be safe, we're going to prespa at 9 PM on 12/22. i have a feeling the evening will involve lots of shots and good-natured teasing of jen, so swing by if you wanna join in. and don't forget to remind jen that for 9 days only she'll be 2 years older than me. man, she hates that so much.

emo-rific

no wonder i feel like crap. i have strepth throat and a sinus infection. there are two things terribly wrong with this, other than the two things i just mentioned.

1. everytime i go to chicago i get sick. and sicker every time i go. i don't care how many billboards say "we're glad you're here!" i'm really starting to think that city has it in for me. and i'm really starting to wonder if moving there is really the best idea. really.
   
2. despite the fever and the fact that it hurts to breathe, i almost went into work today. clearly, i'm way too used to being sick to have it be obvious to me when i should stay home. in the end, reason took hold and i went back to bed.
   

on the bright side - my dearest dream did come true! i got to spend all day in bed feeling sorry for myself. not as awesome as the season finale of "heroes," but still pretty awesome. i'd say i could rock emo with the best of them, except i really don't like emo that much. could we instead say i rock the monster ballads like no one else? at least then i won't have to cut my bangs diagonal.

battle cry

too much exposition you say? not enough youtube links? posting links is the easy part. i dare you to write soul-baring posts for a week straight and i'll post a link a day. whoever has the most corporate sponsors come next tuesday wins.

the goods, the bads and the wierd

while in c-go i got a fortune cookie that said "your dearest dream is coming true." i wish i could get a timeframe on that.

my birthday is in 27 days, which means that in 28 days this supremely ass-tastic year will be over. i know some consider it a bad idea, but i'm claiming january as my month. it'll be fun as heck!

i'm so exhausted i woke up this morning and wondered if it made me a worse person to go into work with only 64% brain functionality or to call in sick. i opted to drag myself in. i normally start to feel this way by friday, but the fact that i started feeling like this on a monday does not bode well for this week. especially since this is the first time since early october that i'm working a full 5 days in one week. it's a tough life, but i'm willing to take one for the team. i think what i really need to do is just eat a bunch of food to zap some life into my body and then spend as much time as humanly possible in my supercomfy bed which i missed so much and will never-ever spend a night away from again. unfortunately, i can't eat and sleep at the same time. well, i could try, but the humanist may get annoyed at my table manners then.

my cat was apparently stoned when i picked her up on sunday. this was kinda cool in that she was too baked to meow, but it's started to wear off. so while she's back to her meowing way, i'm glad she didn't suffer any permanent brain damage at the hands of my neighbors. she's still acting pretty mellow (for her) so maybe there are some lasting effects of the not totally terrible kind.

c-goians are wierd. they wear long-sleeve shirts, jeans and sneakers when it's 90 out, and no jackets when it's 30. some girls were even in skirts! i wanted to yell at them and ask them where their stockings were, but then i remembered i'm only 27 and should never use the word "stockings" in public. none the less, i was confuzzed, and not just from the brain freeze.

sellout

apparently winter is here. it happened right when i started looking for apts. this was conveniently after i had left wearing shoes with no traction. but do not fear! through a careful mastery of balance, shuffling, and looking pathetic until someone gave me an elbow to hold, i managed to not be the one who slipped on the ice. go me.

j.crew sent me a very merry gift guide. the second spread is all green things. i want them all. actually, i want the whole catalog, except for the stuff for men and kids, cause i'm a woman.

looking for a job is hard when you have a job. have i already compained about that? it just takes up a lot of time, or it would, if you weren't spending that time at work. i'll figure it out. i'll try calling my head hunter now and explaining very clearly the mysteries and joys of email.

speaking of the head hunter, he wants to know if i'm catholic. the archdiocese of chicago is hiring and they like their peeps to be catholic, although they will accept protestants. i'm having moral issues with this. mostly cause i'm in support of the things the church is against. am i a total sell out if i take the job (provided i get an interview) and keep my beliefs to myself and take my money and then spend it on sinful things like booze and women of ill-repute (i.e. myself and my friends)? what if i have sex and go to work the next day - will i burst into flames? or worse - what if i'm listening to "closer" by NIN on my iPod as i enter the office? i took communion as a maid of honor once and made the church lose power. this could be a dangerous job for me to have. i don't really know if worker's comp covers injuries caused by hedonism.

i'm telling ya, it's a scary world out there.

:(

i lost my hat.

took me by surprise

i go to c-go on tuesday and was homesick for b-lo on wednesday. considering the fact that i'm only here until sunday it was kinda weird. it's not like i moved here, but seeing as how this was the apt. hunting trip, maybe it was setting in. i saw some great apts. that i could really see myself living in, ones that i would actually take the time to unpack in and make a home, but, well, there's really no reason to do that just yet. still, it's nice to know the option exists, if the opportunity arrives.

phat pasta

looking for a job is hard. I mean, I know I hired someone to do all the hard stuff for me, but now I’m getting calls and emails and thank god I’m off, or I’d never be able to manage all of it. and no, I’m not bragging considering that most of the jobs are for things that I’m so not qualified for. you mention that you know how to use Lawson and suddenly you get jobs to be the VP of IT. or, they want you to go to Atlanta and help a company install Lawson. hello – did you actually read my resume? are my initials AL for awesome Lawson-guy, or MS for master SQL-guy? no, they’re GP for got pie? I really like pie. but really, it’s been cool. I talked to a head hunter before I left for c-go who told me that I’m worth more than I thought, but no one will pay me that cause I’m young. oh well. then I accidentally stalked a really nice Canadian (are there any other kind?) in the airport who hooked me up with a lead for Praxair in Chicago. so, all in all, it’s good stuff.

we got thai last night. or rather, I got Japanese from a thai restaurant. two things to say about that – 1) it should be illegal to offer tempura as a delivery item. it arrives mushy and can be described as tempur-yech. 2) japanese noodles are the sumo wrestlers of the noodle world. seriously, those things are like obese spaghetti.

i am the coolest person i know

To Whom it May Concern,

I had the pleasure of speaking with Dan DiDio and Paul Levitz and discussing DC Comics' subscription service during Chicago's Wizard World. While I have noted some improvements, I do believe there are still several ways that the process can be improved, for both DC Comics and customers.

I have a passion for both comics and process improvement. I am equally comfortable in a board room with executives as I am taking talent to lunch. With a background in both business and the arts, I have a unique combination of skills that I am eager to utilize at your organization.

My well-rounded background in human resources includes:
ü Extensive benefits administration, training hundreds hospital-wide and providing employees with detailed information on options and advising on deadlines
ü Strong dedication to employee satisfaction
ü Vendor and external customer communication and relationship building
ü Human Resources Information System integration, operation, and database design
ü Project management and adhering to strict deadlines
ü Employee data analyzing, organizing, and reporting using Lawson, Oracle, and SQL
ü Major event coordination, significantly increasing attendance

The accompanying résumé outlines my potential for making a worthwhile contribution to your organization. As a dedicated human resources leader, I believe it would be mutually beneficial for us to meet. I look forward to the opportunity to speak with you to discuss my qualifications and set up a time to meet for an interview.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Subscription Girl

i'm a fan of turkey

i have a resume. i have a job posting. these are two great things that go great together; trouble is, they don't leave much room for much else to be included.

thanksgiving was really strange this year. we did it at my mom's. and it was a success. mom didn't get all stressed and flip out, the food was great and all of us had a ton of fun together. i played like 4646196 games of cranium (original and cadoo) and even though i can't hum for shit, i can't get enough of these games. and now there's a cranium wow. i need it.

so, after dinner, plans were made to be insane. they started with a trip to toronto. to get my sister a fake ID. before you go getting all righteous on me, my intent is not to take her out and get her sloppy. i just want to be able to hang out with the girl. go to a bar and throw some darts. play some pool. laugh at all the girls her age who act retarded and wear tanktops in the snow.

anyways, we went to toronto. and were in the city limits for about 12 minutes. literally. all the "souvenier ID" stores were closed at 10:30 PM. lame.

so then we go to the outlet mall. at 1 AM. had to park in the middle of the parking lot. and i don't mean in a spot, i mean where cars normally drive, we parked. but it's ok, all the cool kids were doing it. upon walking into the mall we quickly realized that there were, on average, 1783 people for each car in the lot. there were lines to get into the stores. 3 hour waits to checkout. and 4 people fetal in a corner (i was one of them, the rest of my carpoolers were the other 3). so, we left. i think we were out of the car for about 37 minutes. our original plan was to then go out to an early breakfast and hit the mckinley mall at 5 AM, but we were so traumatized we just went home. quickly.

in summation, shopping after thanksgiving is dumb. if i was in the market for a 42" flat screen HD LCD TV, maybe i'd be willing to deal with the crowds so i could get it at 60% off, but otherwise, there is not a dress or pair of shoes out there that are worth it. seriously.

that being said, i'm off to the outlets now. :)

thug it out

i have timbaland stuck in my head. bear with me.

i had the cutest conversation with my sister tonight. sometimes i forget that she's (technically) an adult and that i can actually have real conversations with her now. it's like one of those super sappy things where she grew up and now i have a friend who i also happen to share genetic characteristics with. i hope i can get that on a pillow. but, in all seriousness, she's a lovely person and i'm flattered that she still comes to me for advice.

i dedicated all of yesterday to looking for a new camera. apparently, the only camera that exists that has all of the features is the one i broke. so i'm paying a stupid amount of money to have it fixed. it's a stupid amount cause i could buy a new camera for the same amount, but i don't like any of those cameras. oh, i'm also buying a proper case for it.

i really am glad i have a very predictable life. i saw a man get thrown out of a car saturday night. and i have to say, i really am thrilled with the knowledge that this will never happen to me, unless the car was on fire and being thrown from a moving vehicle was really the better alternative. i guess you really don't appreciate those things until you realize that not everyone has it as good. bummer for them.

so before i saw the man get decarfenstrated i was hanging out at brick bar. man, does that place ever rock! if i wasn't such a lame, tired loser i could have stayed there all night playing darts and rocking out to billy idol, depeche mode and guns n' roses. and even a little sublime for the fun of it. i need to hang out there more. you can come too.

this just in - did you know soft cell covered "tainted love?" i thought they wrote it! the pussycat dolls also covered it. those sluts - just who the heck do they think they are?!

it works, bitches

after thorough scientific analysis, i have learned the following things:

• it is, in fact, really easy to get drunk on white wine
• i am not a rock star
• i am also not a gangsta
• i wish i had more minions
  

props

hurray for good friends and long-lasting cell phone batteries. :)

lame

i still cannot type an apostrophe without blogger wigging out and thinking i am trying to use the "find" fuction.

apparently, you are suppossed to get the job before looking for a new apt. where is the adventure in that? i say, get the apt and then find the job. nothing like some added incentive to really motivate a person. we will see if i can convince my leasing agent of that.

my aunt was laid off yesterday. 18 years with the radio station. i feel incredibly bad for her, but she is handling it better than i am, i think. i did not get really pissed until i heard that jack fm is going commericial (and revenue) free on monday. excuse me, how can you afford to do that when you needed to lay off your promotions director? could you explain that, pretty please?

i've been informed that i need to dress up tonight. normally i love getting gussied up, but to play beer pong? really? i know we're going out afterwards but, still, i don't... hey, what the heck! i just typed a ' and it didn't freak out on me! woo hoo!

so, i have to admit, i'm worried about feist. do you think she was prepared for the level of popularity she has achieved since she became an iPod commercial? i wonder if she thinks it was worth it, or if she misses her simple life from before. and once the novelty of her wears off and the media goes away, will she miss it? will her previous lifestyle seem small and alien or like home again?

tickled pink

i love how gmail tries to put ads on the side that relate to your conversation. so when i emailed outgrabes to admit my jerkitudeness and apologize for running out on the pizza bill, gmail gave me the option to take a quiz to find out if i was emo. so i took it. and then it asked for my personal info and to take a survey before i got my results, so i politely declined and now i'll never know if i am indeed emo. but i think the fact that i spent most of my time chuckling, guffawing and outright giggling at most of the questions means that i am, most assuredly, not emo. not that there's anything wrong with being emo. i have friends who are emo!

by the way, is there anything sweeter than the rush of discovering that an incredibly sexy construction worker is flirting with you? oh, wait, there is. it's called "two of them."