oh man

i really didn't think i was going to make it today. i woke up with the worst hangover that i've had in nearly a year. so yeah, just like last year, i didn't make it to the southside parade. by no means do i regret dancing to some really good music last night and having some good ol' fun, but i was going to cry if Patty had come downstairs and said, "aren't you ready yet?!" luckily, she thinking the same thing, except i would have had to go upstairs, and she was mostly asleep.

umm, then i had some food and put some laundry away and watched some movies. yep, day two of blogging is real exciting stuff.

i took monday off of work with the thought that i may need to nurse a hangover on monday, but instead i think i'm going to just wander around the city (it's going to be 60 out!) and meet different people for lunch and then go to a doctor's appt in the late afternoon where i'll hopefully find out why i keep getting sick all the time again. maybe i really do just need to have my nose taken apart and put back together every couple years. and no, i'm not linking to those pics, so relax.

close call

i was going to attend the river dyeing this morning, but decided to be hungover instead. patty made the same decision, so it wasn't a big deal, or so i thought. then we went downtown and the river was not green. i mean, it's always green, but it wasn't holiday green. i got really nervous - i mean, did they decide to not bother dyeing the river since i didn't show?

but don't worry, they story has a happy ending - we walked further east and the river was toxic sludge green. i just didn't realize how slow the chicago river's currents are.

happy drunk weekend!

oh, it's on.

ahem

dear fellow bloggers,

i apologize for my lack of blogging as of late. it's not that i've forgotten you, or haven't wanted to, but i just haven't had anything worthwhile to say, or the ability to say unworthwhile things in an interesting way.

unfortunately, i think this trend is going to continue. why? because today, i finally fulfilled a life-long (actually, 2 years) dream of mine. i finally found a wii available for purchase. today was the first time i went to target without writing "wii" on my list and sweet jesus, it was there. i carried that thing through the store for the rest of the trip like it was my baby, cause it is. it's a pretty hefty baby, too, i have to tell you.

so, yep, today is the happiest day of my life. this by no means is to say that my previous days weren't joy-filled, cause they sure as heck were, but it's always nice when you finally get what you want after years of waiting, even if you have to pay stupid amounts for it.

so, yeah, if you want to know what i've been up to, buy a wii and then we can talk about it while we go fishing online.

awesome.

tick tock

I want kids. I’ve had a sneaking suspicion that this was the case for some time now, but this weekend really proved it to me. The Wickhams came to visit and they have the cutest almost-3 year old I’ve ever had the privilege of hanging out with. Maybe it was the way she curled up in my arms, or the way she said “I duve you” before walking over to the wall to examine my collection of fish-related art work one more time. Even when she was screaming, I loved her. I asked my new roomie if we could get one, but she said we should probably try a dog first. She’s so smart.

So, yeah, my dating life is probably not going to improve anytime soon. I’ll try really hard to not be one of those psychos who’s all like, “Give me a baby now!” but we all know how good I am at playing it cool. (I flunked that class in case you didn’t know).

Speaking of things that are cool, I need to give some serious props to new roomie Patty. Not only did she help me pack, but she also painted my bedroom for me. I tried to express my gratitude by buying her dinner and giving her a shoutout on Facebook, but I’m not sure that really conveyed the totality of my appreciation. The funny thing is that we didn’t have anything to stand on, so there’s still a border of TigetBeat and Unicorn pink along the top of my walls. Maybe I’ll finish it or maybe I’ll just leave it. I’m pretty short so it’s not like I look at the tops of my walls that often anyway.

My new ‘hood goes by the name of Lincoln Square. Once the tundra gives way to some greenery it’ll be tons o’ fun to walk around and visit all the little stores and restaurants and pubs and bars and other places that serve libations. Until then, I’m just ecstatic that I live across the street from the “L” (even though my station is technically at ground level) and rarely have to go outside for anything. Which is pretty much the crux of my problem. See, I am far too content to stay home and watch TV, or go to a bar and only talk to people I already know. And then I wonder why I don’t have as many friends here as I do in b-lo. Granted, I am ridiculously picky when it comes to choosing people worthy of my time, but there has to be a way for an elitist like me to meet some more acceptable folk. Who hopefully have cute, single male friends who want kids, too.

new favorite hobby

i love googling missed calls that don't leave messages. although, sometimes, the results are shocking.

i just missed a call from curves.

it's like they knew, that for the briefest of moments today, i thought about joining in a manner that was slightly less sarcastic than usual.

well, there's no way i'm joining their creepy, telepathic gym now. that'll teach 'em.

resting on my laurels

haven't felt much of a need to blog ever since the humanist finally came to his senses and realized i am the better blogger. but really, trying to compare him and i is like trying to compare stephen king and jane austen; except that i'm not sure i'd really want to be either of those. i guess it'd be safer to say that we're like the proverbial apple and orange: both terrific, just depends on what you have a taste for.

i had a whole bunch of stuff to talk about, but i've completely forgot what all of it was over the last month. sorry 'bout that.

i'll do better next time, former scouts honor.

in brief

watched a bunch of movies lately. here's what i have to say:

the professional - got milk?

speed racer - if NASCAR was as cool as the WRL i'd become a redneck right now.

indiana jones and the skull made out of crystal in a temple - aliens? really? did you really need to bring aliens into it?

batman: gotham knight - kinda like the animatrix, except that the live-action film that follows it doesn't suck.

get smart - oh steve carrell, you're so cute and silly!

did i mention i have this horrible habit of feeling horrible on the weekends? it means i'm great at going to work and gives me lots of time to watch movies on the weekends. livin' the american dream people - that's me.

haven't done this in a while

have you missed the long, rambling, incredibly emotional posts? yeah, me too.

i can't believe prop 8 passed. i can't tell if i want to throw up or throw my laptop out the window. actually, if i did that, i probably would throw up after. i would never hurt you, baby.

in answer to your question, yeah, i am for realz on the whole peace corps thing. just like that very emotional msnbc man who said in video what i feebly attempt to say via blogging, i'm disgusted, nay, repulsed with my fellow americans right now. i don't know many gay people, and i certainly don't know their tales of hardship, but i still feel it is everyone's right to marry. i don't need first or second hand knowledge or desires or experiences to know that everyone should have that choice. i hope i never have to make the choice and don't know what i would choose if i did, but i still think all women should be able to have abortions. i just don't know what makes someone think it's so wrong to have choices. to decide for themselves what will make them happy. give their lives meaning. make them feel whole.

i'll tell you something, you faceless masses, that i never told anyone. one of the things that started my disenchantment with the roz had nothing to do with being accused of stealing, or being "underpaid and overworked" or any of that other crap. it was when the state announced that they were extending insurance benefits in a slightly better way to homosexual couples and my "mentor," the woman i looked up to and who in many ways was like my office mother for years, was offended by this. didn't think they deserved benefits at all. it wasn't the way god wanted us to live.

i let it slide when she looked down on me for living with my boyfriend when i wasn't married. a bit old school for my tastes, but i didn't hold it against her.

that day when i saw the horror in her eyes that "the gays" were getting treated almost like equals, i lost all respect for her. gone. here was a woman who be her own admission had gone through a terrible divorce and had first hand knowledge that not even all bible-approved marriages work, and she still thought that two guys or two gals didn't deserve the same choice. her broken marriage had more credibility than their potential ones.

let me tell ya, training was a real joy for me after that. she had a lot to teach me, but none of it seemed important.

where was i going with this? oh, right, the peace corps. i have some very selfish reasons for applying, which i'm sure we'll get to in subsequent posts, in addition to the whole "no matter how hard you try to assimilate there's a good chance you still may get sexually assaulted by the very people you're trying to help" warning that's at the very top of the webpage. yeah, we might have 3 or 5 dozen posts on that.

but, essentially, altruistic or not, my goal is this - to fucking make a difference. idealistic? yes. doable? oh fuck yeah. going to china or kenya or some country i've never heard of (i bet there's a lot of those) won't help gay americans marry, but it'll help. someone with something. that's really all i'm going for here.

and if i meet a homophobic californian they better hope to their narrow-minded, pathetic god* that my kick-boxing skills have worn off.

*i don't think all gods are pathetic - just the ones stupid people do stupid things in the name of.

getting both feet wet.

i could've gone out tonight. i thought about it. considered it. picked out what i was going to wear and contemplated which lipstick would best match the shirt and make me look darling at the same time.

but, as you can probably tell, i decided against it.

i didn't feel like going to a bar or club or lounge and talking about things that don't matter while drinking someone else's idea of a good martini. (you want to know what sucks about chicago - no one knows how to make a good drink and they all make up for it by charging twice as much. yeah, that logic doesn't make sense to me either.)

instead, i decided to sit and think about what i really want to do. not tonight, but all those other nights in the future. and the days too. i've been looking for other jobs but nothing really interests me. i feel like it would just be a case of same crap bigger paycheck, or, if i'm really lucky, bigger crap same paycheck.

so, after applying to all those jobs that hold no interest for me (and let me tell you, my lack of interest is also clearly showing in my declining interview skills. i have no idea how desperate one suitor must have been to bring me back for a second helping) i did some research and finally did what i've wanted to do for years, but was always just too afraid.

i applied to join the peace corps.

blue is my second favorite color

i'm not gonna get all political on ya, best to leave that to the pros. or, at the very least, best to leave that to the people who should quit their day jobs and become full-time political bloggers.

but, i am incredibly proud of my country right now. i'll admit it, i haven't been so proud lately. but all that changed when i updated my google news feed wednesday morning.

i feel a really uplifting sense of hopefulness right now. that maybe obama can be our "third time's the charm" when it comes to ending racism (i'm counting lincoln and MLK, Jr in there - my apologies to rosa parks and countless others). we've had our growing pains. now it's time to suck it up and act like a mature country. ya know, use our power repsonsibly, like spidey would want us to.

i probably should have gone to grant park on tuesday, but i really don't like crowds. or portapotties. still, i'm glad it happened, regardless of my preference for indoor plumbing.

hi!

so, how've you been? me, well, i'm feeling a lot better. i just don't bounce back from strep like i used to, but i finally have some pep in my step. you can tell, from the lack of blogging, that i've left my computer to go do things that are exciting and fun and that simply can't be done in buffalo.

ya know, like, watching "veronica mars" dvds. which i actually do do (hehe) at my computer. but the point is not where i do it, the point is that you should do it! and, if the next time you see me, i'm acting all sassy and say funny things, just know that kristen bell has been a good influence on me, and may have created a monster accidentally.

IRL

i hate to admit it, but my doc was right on to make me stay home today. i just don't bounce back from strep like i used to.

the good side of this is that i've had the opportunity to seriously bleach my abode (strep-ti-yuck-us germs hate the stuff) and i've seen some excellent movies too.

"ghost rider" is just the movie you need to watch if you have a friend over and a spare six-pack. be prepared to giggle at ridiculousness and quote the stupidity for the rest of the night. or morning, depending on when you watch it. the new york times asks if "the world is ready for a flaming nicolas cage." i say, "flame on."

"dan in real life" made me so happy i almost teared up. i would have, except that antibiotics make me dehydrated. this movie also made me really glad that my sister is 9.34 years younger than me, as i think that makes the chances of us falling for the same guy really slim. she may be a mature 19, and i an immature 28, but there's a still a lot of middle ground in there that neither of us is crossing.

after watching "boondock saints" and realizing the whole batman similarity (which i do not see everywhere i look) i decided to watch some actual batman. "batman and the mask of the phantasm" is fantastic. i love it when bats falls for a girl, and the girl has to leave because her daddy is mixed up with the wrong crowd and then she comes back as a villain. (this has happened once or twice.) cause really, if bats and a lady friend ever worked it out, that'd be the end of batman. and then i'd have to start reading spidey or supes. flame on, indeed.

more notes to self

• electric toothbrushes don't work very well without electricity. i mean, really not well.
  
• it's pretty selfish of my boss to tell me i'm not allowed to go to work tomorrow cause i'm contagious. now i'm just going to have to go infect everyone in nordstrom.
• "boondock saints" - what would happen if batman was irish. and had a twin. who would also be irish.
  

notes to self

• you can get drunk on white wine. i don't know why this lesson is so hard for me to learn.
• being sick isn't fun, but sometimes it leads to dreams that feature queen latifah, and that is fun.
• facebook can lead to awkward moments. like the post-makeout "don't bother calling, let's just be facebook friends" or people from your high school that you really don't remember asking if you do remember them. really, i don't mind the new FB format, but i could've used some warning on that new IM feature.
• remember when i used to listen to trance? i should do more of that. the theme song to "house, md" is great and all, but i could really use more massive attack in my life.
• i hope i never need a doctor like house, partly because it means i'd be in pretty bad shape, but mostly because i'm sure i'd be emotionally traumatized. he's not a very nice guy.
  

they grow up so fast

completely unrelated, did you know i live in the most stressful city in the USA? yeah, i don't buy it either.

so, you guys are going to be proud of me. on friday, i initiated a political discussion and made valid points and educated my friend rebecca on the issues at hand and convinced her to vote in november. not that it really matters, illinois is going to obama for sure.

this is a huge step for me, considering i had to read an US weekly article to find out obama lives in chicago. and while i know i will never be on the same level of political blogging that the humanator and outdoorsy-guy are known for, i started realizing that living blind to the issues was reprehensible and now i no longer skip the "boring" stuff in the paper.

for all the reasons everyone has already stated and/or posted youtube clips, i am scared for the future. terrified, really. if obama doesn't win, i may have to ditch this country, for reals. and even if he does, the poor guy would probably be assassinated so fast, it won't even matter.

i don't understand how we can live with so many ignorant people. it makes me want to cry and throw up and scream at the same time.

but, lest you think i've gone completely responsible, let me assure you that i still makeout with strangers and buy expensive things i don't really need. sure, my 'puter has been putting along and being a jerk now and then, but it still works. i opted to not let that stop me from ordering a dell inspirion 1525. i bought it for the same reason i buy most expensive things that i don't really need: i was bored and it came in green.

oh, canadia

i spell it that way, cause if americans are from america, then canadians should be from canadia.

i'm in ottawa. in case you didn't know, that's the capital of canadia. it's not toronto. no, i'm serious, it's not.

moving on...

ottawa is beautiful. really, really, beautiful. the place i'm staying is a good example of the prettiness here. and, canadians are so nice. i forgot how nice they are. they think it's so cute that we think they're so nice. i just think they're cute with their little accents and printing everything in french and english. i'm now fluent in vending machines and warnings!

the thing i don't like about traveling alone is that it's kinda lonely. obviously, there are other people at this conference, but not all of them are canadian, so not all of them are so bubbly. i think i'm going out drinking with the staff tonight, at least the ones who don't have to present tomorrow. i was going to try to take a bus tour tonight, but i think the last one is at 4... which i'm not going to make. i'm here for an extra day, so maybe i'll do that on wednesday, after i take my "haunted ottawa" walking tour tuesday night. they do offer a pub crawl version... i'll be historical instead of going shopping! there's really no point in shopping in canadia anymore, anyway. stupid dollar being stupid.

speaking of drinking - god, i've missed canadian beer! they were serving battie's (which i never used to call it, but now i feel a strong affinity for it) at the german fest, and they called it DOMESTIC! it made me so happy.

and now i get to drink all the canadian i want. real canadian, with all of its high alcohol content. chicago is too far from the canadian border for its own good. maybe i should hang out in detroit. you know, if i ever feel thirsty and suicidal.

at any rate, i'm working on being more personable, as i found out recently that i may come across as "judgmental and standoffish." i thought i came across as "interested in others and sweetly shy." i don't really know if i should trust the opinion of someone who i recently learned does coke (much to my sincere disappointment), but it still makes me wonder - is that why guys don't call? do i just not seem interested? have my remarkable flirting skills become unremarkable?

at any rate, ottawa is lovely and if anyone feels like taking a 7-hour drive up north, you are more than welcome to stay in my princess room and experience the lovely hospitality of the citizens of canadian's capital.

sorry

i'm too tired to blog. it took all of my brain power to stay awake to read your blogs. i'm not saying yours were boring (au contraire, mon frere) i've just got nothing left. here's a few key points:

• my boss actually gave me credit for my own work and said i did "very good!" that's like getting a silver star.
• still working towards gold. not everyone can be michael phelps.
  
• the ninja and i will not be getting married anytime soon because he likes my friend better than me.
  
• too bad she has a boyfriend and lives in buffalo
• it takes me at least two days to recover from getting home at 6:30 AM. i was all like, "i should go take pictures of the sunrise!" but then i realized that the sun was rising and i should really go to sleep.
  

so, what have we learned? i like stars, ninjas and hiding from the sun.

i'll try to do better next time.

i'm engaged!

in battle. with the humanist. i was going to let him think he won and have let him have his little ego boost, until i was forced to learn through facebook that he's dating someone. how rude! apparently, when you live more than 5 miles from the humanist, he no longer feels as though you're worthy of being notified in person of his major life changes. i, on the other hand, am a considerate friend and thoroughly update him on all of my single activities.

i'm hurt.

and what do girls do when they've been wounded? do they sit in a corner and whimper? no, they fight tooth and nail to win blog war '08.

so, eric, i accept your terms. most comments on a single post by september wins. i can see you've already been trying your dangdest to get comments and have gotten up to four. poor boy, do you know what you've gotten yourself into?!

i'm miserable

i hate my job. actually, that's not true. i hate my boss. but even more than i hate her, i hate what all this hate is doing to me. i'm constantly tired. i have no desire to see friends or talk to people. it took all of my energy to be spunky for half an hour with the outdoorsman (you ain't no wannabe in my book) but in the back of my head all i could think about was how lunch would be over far too soon...

but mostly, i hate how i've lost the will to blog.

so, in an effort to not let the worksies get me down, i've decided to do something about it. that something being... look for a new job! cause, ya know, it was so much bloody fun six months ago, i can only imagine how much fun it'll be this time around.

but, have no fear gentle readers, my misery did not cloud my eyes so much that i missed the fact that blog war III has begun. i was just pushed further into my emo funk by realizing that the humanist thinks that exposition is the same as truly baring one's soul and that the number of comments your blog receives is a sure sign that you're an excellent blogger. those of us who have integrity don't blog to be discussed or commented on, we hope to leave our readers (if we have any) with a sense of introspection and enlightenment. or to just get a lot of shit off our chests.

so, yes, kind sir, if you feel the need to fight the forces of niceness and self-examination, i'll take you on. just try not to cry into your blog when i'm done with you.