Up-te-datey

people have been asking how i like my job. i have edited this post to make it safe for the family to read, but if the situation doesn't improve soon, blogger is going to have to place a parental warning on here. and i'll have to remove walmart from my list of potential sponsors. because they don't like the words that mean mean things. not because i would ask them to support me. although i do like the bouncy smiley face that saves you money.

1. i am so bored i pray that we have an earthquake so i can go home. apparently, this is a viable option.
   
2. i was hired to convert their data into a useful format, but i'm begining to think this data doesn't exist...
   
3. they have the computers locked down so tight that i can't check my email or blog or even pretend i care and update my facebook profile!
4. the office hottie is, well, a hottie, but he's also a shyie. stop laughing at my jokes and make out with me in my office. it's not like i'm doing anything else in there.

so, while i am really glad to be gainfully employed and to again have health insurance in 6 days, 1 hour and 25 minutes, i'm really regretting turning down that interview for the assistant commissioner for employment in the department of human resources for the city of chicago (how would that ever fit on a business card?) because i "just got hired" and "didn't know how i would take time off for an interview." so i reapplied. i'm pretty sure i take time off by saying, "can i leave at 3 PM next tuesday?" and then i go tell the acting and deputy commissioners how awesome i am and then they pay me $20k more. seriously. i turned down the chance to make $20k more because of some misguided loyalty to a place that's not even smart enough to give me work! they asked me to make practice spreadsheets to make sure i really knew how to use excel! aaaah!

otherwise, chicago is awesome! i'm going canoing on sunday and "forgetting sarah marshall" is hysterical and chipotle is really yummy (not mighty taco yummy - it's a different kind of thing) and akira had a shoe sale and ann taylor loft is having a sale and i've already spent my first paycheck, which is fine, except that i haven't gotten it yet.

i like it here. but i miss buffalo and the peoples in it that i used to hang out with, so i'll come visit next month. this is a good plan. it's good to have a plan.

counter-point

i disagree. which is strange, cause we're not even discussing the environment or whether or not guiness tastes like crap this time.

i definitely do not think that we should go around using racial slurs, but i don't think silence is the answer either. in fact, i think it's part of the problem. i think we should all be free to talk about our differences, and why they're good AND what's good in other cultures/races/neighborhoods too. and free to ask others what they're all about! one of my former coworkers was a jehovah's witness, and i had no idea what that meant other than they were the people my mom loved to screw with when they came to the house, but this coworker was willing to tell me about it. do i want to incorpoate those beliefs into my life? hells no - i love my birthday. but now i know and it's no longer this strange thing i know nothing about. now i know the facts instead of the stereotypes and what other people think about them. see the difference? when a kid asks an adult what's different about the person who's black, white, purple or polka-dot walking down the street the adult should not be afraid to tell them. if they don't give them a truthful, factful answer, then the kid is going to get their "facts" from somewhere else. and they're going to keep looking for answers until they find them. telling someone that something is forbidden (whether it's a topic of conversation, way of thinking, dressing, acting, etc.) is only going to make them want to do it more. abolish the drinking age and after the novelty wears off, i'm sure even some of the newer new englanders will go dry.

stereotypes will never be completely eliminated. they're needed to help organize the bombardment of information our brains are constantly receiving - you use them when you see a mangy dog and a purring cat - and sometimes you're wrong. but if we didn't have an initial slot to put info we'd never be able to react to anything - not to the cutie winking at us or the crazy waving a knife. i think a good place for the human race to start would be to remember that stereotypes are guideline, not hard and fast rules. not every latino is gonna try to cop a feel, but it doesn't hurt to keep an eye out at first. not to mention the fact that sometimes stereotypes funny. and watch this one too. i can't wait to see it live next month!

any who...

so, how do we change the way americans react to the info they just processes? fuck if i know. i guess i could have some kids and teach them that while us froggies make the best food, the irish have the best holiday and the canadians are the nicest, and so on and so on. but first i'd have to find a baby daddy and we all know that all guys suck.

better than an easter seal

i am very sleepy. i've nailed the getting up at 5:30 am part, now i just need to figure out how to stay up past 10:00 pm.

my bff sent me this very funny pic today. i had to share. i hope to share my pics soon. i like sharing.

boombastic

i don't even know what "boombastic" means, it just happened to be a song that popped up on my iPod. now its in my head for forever.

the paralyzed veterans of america finally found me! hurray for patriotic return address labels! double hurray for not having to hand write the return address anymore!!

my first day of work was today. it went pretty darn well. everyone was really nice and i don't remember any of their names. i learned stuff and it would seem that i'm still qualified for the job. they have an awesome cafeteria too! plus, i get to work with an alex again, only this time, it's a girl. craziness. and i work with a recruiter who gave her little girl a boys name. some things never change. hopefully, this recruiter won't turn out to be an evil skank jerk-face like the last one. i have to say, it was incredibly weird to go to work today. after being on unpaid-vacation-leave in chicago for 2 months and 11 days, it sorta just now hit me that i live here. and it's pretty cool.

it's 72 outside right now. it's totally fantastic. especially since it was in the 40s for all but one of the days my sister was in town. she was a trooper though - us buffalo gals don't let a little snow keep us from having a good time. madison had sushi for the first, second and third time of her life (she may love it more than me). we also had ethiopian, which led to the following inappropriate conversations, "you should have brought me here when i was little - you're supposed to eat with your hands!" and "do ethiopians eat this stuff every day?" "not likely from the pictures i've seen." this is why you shouldn't take us anywhere nice.

in addition to the food firsts, we both decided it was time we stopped being all talk and no action. and nothing commemorates a fantastic week together like some ink.

aren't those the cutest lil' bugs you ever did see? i'm the foot on the left connected to the deformed ankle. my sister's the bleeder on the right. it was a lot of fun, especially since everyone in the tattoo parlor thought we were the cutest things ever ("you're sisters and you're getting your first tatts together?! and they're bugs! how cute are you?!") extremely, apparently. i just wonder what we'll do the next time she visits...

i will post pictures this weekend, or i'll do my very bestest too. we really did have so much fun and it was nice to just hang out with her. talk girl stuff and watch movies and tease each other and stuff like that. the train and bus are a lot lonelier now that she's headed home.

so i don't end this on a mushy down note, let me tell you about how i made danielle a real friend! i texted her to see if she went to the party on saturday that i was supposed to go to but i couldn't cause maddie was in town and we went to milwaukee, and instead of texting me back, she called me. that's a big step, people. and then we were talking about what events we'll see each other at next and i said, "why don't we hang out saturday night?" and she said yes! we're hanging out and there's no pretense of it being a club-event involved. so, let me take a moment to thank a friend who gave me some great advice a couple months ago ("just get out there"). took me a while to follow through, but i'm glad i did. now if only he would blog...

this just in!

my cool aunt patti (i refuse to have uncool aunts) now reads my blog. so keep it clean when you comment on my blog - but not too clean, she is the chick who took me to see lewis black, after all.

i got a strange email today - assumed it was spam and almost never opened it. but i'm glad i did! one of my photos was short-listed for the second edition of schmap's east coast guide. not the pic i would have picked (sorry, it was too easy) but then again, i'm not an editor. hope this schmap thing is cool. otherwise i'll feel really lame for being "published" on the web. it's such a fad.

i noticed a few weeks ago that there's something different about me. it wasn't the permanent (albeit slight) limp i now walk with (i'll get that looked at soon). it was more the way i interacted with people. i used to get scared of big crowds of strangers. yes, i know you don't really believe me, but it's the truth and nothing but. now, i love the idea of big crowds of strangers! all those new people to meet and weed through to find the coolest ones. it's fun! i should've tried this not being shy thing years ago. damn. i could've been haning out wtih really cool people all this time.

so, i'm not going to NYC for NY wizard world. you're left to your own devices to figure out why. you may also hypothesize, if you so choose, as to why this is probably a good thing. the real answers are nowhere nearly as exciting as anything you're bound to come up with. in fact, let me know if you come up with anything really juicy. maybe i'll make it my real cover story!

MCA

i went to first friday at the museum of contemporary art this past friday. i hated it. maybe if i was 19 and/or looking to get laid i would have liked it, but i'm really not a fan of being surrounded by a bunch of poseurs, long lines for bad drinks, DJs whose biggest fan is herself and modern crap art. their slogan is "fear no art." i don't fear it, i'm just afraid i'm gonna wretch all over it. regardless, this event is incredibly popular all twelve times a year and does a lot to raise awareness for the arts community, blah blah blah, so if you want to go when you come visit that's cool, i'll put you on the bus and take the ride to the loop, but i'll be around the corner drooling over the michael kors, chanel and ann taylor. when you're done wretching come find me.

the day started pretty great though. i gots my mane colored auburn. it's like i finally recognize myself in the mirror again! ... although, i'm not normally sideways.



the night ended really great too! after i ditched the most crappiest artsy party i've ever been to, i went and met up with this girl i knew from my club at innjoy, which i did innjoy! and i kissed a mightily cute asian. and then i told him to go away cause he was interfering with me getting my drink on. for some reason, he thought i was playing hard to get, but really, my drink was empty.

saturday i went out with some other people. did i mention i also went out on thursday? yeah, i could barely walk today. 3 days in a row of dancing, drinking too much, staying up late, being hungover, sleeping all day and repeat have done me in. i managed to do laundry and mop the floor today and i don't know how. i have most certainly aged. vacuuming will have to wait for maddie's convenient arrival.

totally unrelated - my cool aunt jeanie just landed an awesome job! i love when things work out - her layoff made her go look for jobs and now she has a better one than she's ever had before. couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. :)

also, here's a pic of my super fat cat trying to fit into a super small box. you can also see all of the boxes filled with books (most with pictures) that desperately need to be put on bookshelves that i should buy at some point.



now she's trying to fit into my purse. yeah, maybe if it was alanna's purse, but you're gonna need quite the kibble cut back before you see the inside of one of mine.

you spin me round

i knew tonight was going to be a good night because the train showed up just as i reached the platform, always a good sign. and then on the bus the lady next to me smelled like play-doh, a little odd, to be sure, but i love play-doh. and then, when i got to the party, there were chicken wings and they were really, really good. so damn good.

and there was a stripper pole. i have always been intrigued by the stripper pole. how does one spin around without getting dizzy? how do you stop your hands from slipping? i gathered around to watch as some guys were dancing (which was hi-lar-ee-us) and then some chick started shouting get up there red shirt. uh-oh, i was the only one wearing a red shirt. and she sounded ser-ee-us. did you know the actual pole spins? like a lot? news to me. other news to me - apparently i have some moves. and i have to tell you, it was damn fun. i like spinning in circles. and i am positive that while this is not news to you, i still feel it is important to mention that i like being the center of attention.

next time, i need to wear stilettos (the shoes, not the knives) and a fedora. ya know, in addition to, not instead of, the rest of my clothes. i already have a job, thank you.

and that's no joke

guess what?! i have a job! isn't that the best news you've heard all day that has absolutely no impact on your own life? and it couldn't have happened at a better time. my sister is coming to visit me soon and as much as i say "the plane tickets are your birthday present and i'm not buying you anything else" we all know i'll buy her any and everything she glances at. and somehow she still understands the importance of working to purchase her own stuff. maybe it's cause i make her sing the "you're the best sister ev-UHR" song when i buy her stuff.

also, this job will provide me with health insurance on 5/1, which is important as i plan on jumping out of a plane (with a parachute, natch) on 5/4. just don't tell my mom- i promised her i wouldn't.

i also just became a member of the shedd aquarium and field museum. now i can go as much as i want all year long and take a guest for free each time. expect to be taken here when you come visit. and if you visit in pairs you can shadow box to determine who gets the free ticket. or, if you're boring, you can just split the price.

all in all, things are going pretty well over here. i still miss all of you, but it's no longer that "soul-crushing" kind of missing. it's more of a "i better go do fun stuff so i have fun stuff to show my friends when they come visit" kind of missing. although, i do occassionally find myself a victim of the "le sigh" on thursdays if there's nothing going on here.

i guess that's it. there's a party tonight i think i'll go to and until then i'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to convince myself that i really should put my laundry away and mop the floors. not stuff i like doing, but now as i don't have the "but i should be looking for a job" excuse, i really should do it. no one likes visiting a chick with messy floors.