Monday, July 30, 2007

i'll link to that!

i need to do more constructive things with my time, and less of what i currently do. at least, i think that's what i should be doing. i thought about getting back into theatre, but then i remembered that i didn't really enjoy it the last time and i like not being a member of this group. i'd go jogging, but my ankle has this horrible habit of disintegrating when i do so (and you thought i was just lazy). i'd go back to school, but well, there's really no buts. that's most likely what i'll end up doing. despite the money and the fact that my family now thinks i have an addiction to learning. at least it's not crack. and really, the jokes on them. like i learned anything in mba school. other than how to do a cost/benefit analysis. and now that you've heard the phrase you know how to do one too. so, until school starts i'm going to do the yoga thing. i like it. lots. i sorta felt all zombieish after, but i'm ok with that. totally worth it. and maybe, just maybe, if i get over my fear of riding bikes on the street with all the cars driven by people that hate the bikes and more importantly hate the people on the bikes, i'll do some of that too.

i went to this party on saturday that was thrown by one of the PhD students at the roz, with every other student in attendance. the best part was when i walked in and everyone turned around with the same look on their faces. the look = "who invited the narc from HR?!" that's almost as ridiculous as accusing this guy of being a narc at a rave. but seriously, do narcs generally show up with grey goose? i think not. at any rate, i met some very fun people (once they stopped staring at me out of the corner of their collective eye) which means i now can do more than smile in the hallways and think "they prefer deluxe car washes to super kisses." i'm so wierd.

i'm also such a jerk. so, i'm going to this comic book convention, right? and i haven't even asked any of you if you want me to take stuff to get signed. you have 8 days to give me your belongings. just be gentle, i'm no sherpa, even if i am human. additionally, as this guy's gonna be there, i really need to update the ol' resume. i'm sure i'm the only person who'll be shoving one in his face. or at least, the only female. definitely the only female who wants to restructure their subscribtion service and has the moxie to tell him so. lord above, does it ever blow.

guess i found my something constructive to do.

Sunday, July 29, 2007


i have a wii. we should play sometime.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

come again?

i just got accepted into grad school... without applying.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Guest Appearance!

The Humanist here...Gabs has graciously turned over control of her precious blog to me. It's actually a reciprocal thing, as she guested on my blog, The Humanist, a few weeks ago. What's that? You'd like to see what she wrote? No's the The Humanist. That's

OK...enough self-promotion of The Humanist. On to the crux of the matter. Is the correct spelling "Gaby" or "Gabby" or "Gabbie" or "Ghaby"? I've just been informed that the correct spelling is with two "B's". So, "Gabybb" it is.

Next....Gaby needs more political posts. She's got a quick mind and a taste for sarcasm...essential to good political blogging.

Lastly....Gaby and I made a pact that we would not write one word on the travails of Lindsey Lohan. I don't think I'll be able to keep up my end of the bargain because Ms. Lohan is endlessly fascinating to me. Give me an alcohol-monitoring bracelet, an expensive sportscar, endless access to cocaine and various other club delights and I'd be in that mugshot too. Oops...I already was.

Thanks for the space Gaby,
The Humanist.

P.S. That's The Humanist. T-H-E H-U-M-A-N-I-S-T.

the two great tastes that taste great together

shakespeare and davy jones!

jousting and plank-walking!

turkey legs and… scurvy?

July 28 & 29th
Pirates Weekend:

Aye Mates! The Sterling Renaissance Festival will again host its Pirates Weekend July 28th & 29th. A bevy of early pirates, including Sir Francis Drake and his raucous crew will invade the festival and swashbuckle their way into the hearts of visitors with rustic sea shanties, tall tales, comedy and high adventure. This special weekend will feature the "Pirate Show", where Pirates devise fiendish punishments for unwary villagers.

Pirate songs and dance will fill the lanes, and beware lest you fall prey to a roving band and end up at the "Pirate Show" to walk the plank! Come dressed in proper seafaring attire and attend a pirate costume contest to be held at the Pubside Stage at 12:15p and "prepare to board!" this exciting Special Weekend, and don't forget your "Aarrrg!"

seriously, how is this the first time i've heard about this?

Monday, July 23, 2007


i can't remember the last time i was this cranky. really, it's pretty bad. but it's my own fault. you know how there are those people in the world whose apparent sole purpose in life is to attempt to make everyone as miserable as they are? i made the terrible mistake of conversing with one of these people saturday night. why? maybe i was cornered or too nice/dumb to walk away. maybe i hoped she'd be decent this time. but no, i was wrong. and it did not go well. i've been pretty sullen ever since and i fear i took it out on someone(s) else, which i'm feeling pretty bad about (i loathe it when others take out their bad days on me, so the thought of doing that to someone else is not a comforting thought to me) and is therefore perpetuating the crankiness.

this is not to say that i didn't have a great time at boozemas. i had loads of fun! but ya know, in case you're wondering why i'm not my usual dynamic and exciting self, that's why. that, and i'm busy being confused by this statement: "i like the beach." i thought i hated the beach! other things that are perplexing to me: viognier. this, my friends, is a white wine that i will choose over reds. i didn't think it was possible. i just don't know who i am anymore. before you know it, i'll be reading books without pictures.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

the j.crew i have accrued*

i just scared myself with the realization that my shirt, jeans, belt, flip flops and jacket are all from j.crew. i wonder how often this happens and i just never noticed before.

*i'd give her credit for saying this, but i'm not allowed to use her name in print anymore.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


i can't believe i'm friends with you and didn't figure out it was you. you're a jerk. let's hang out again soon!

bad idea

if i ever again utter the phrase, "i'm going to answer this call from a private number" stop me. slap me, hit me with a rock, i don't care. there are some creepy mofos in the world and i don't ever wanna talk to any of them again. yech.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

only happy when it rains

i love the rain. i love walking in it, the way the air feels (although not necessarily the way it smells) after a good rain. the way everything's all glistening, but mostly the way it sounds against my windows. the only downside is that listening to rain sorta lulls me into unconciousness so according to the weather guide i'll be blissfully useless until friday.

i don't know about you, but i had no idea i was such a cuddle fiend when drunk until such actions were cataloged and posted on the interwebs for all to see. how embarassing. but maybe it's a good thing - it can serve as a public service announcement to everyone that they run the risk of being hugged repeatedly when hanging out with me. that'll save me from having to individually warn people in my rain-induced coma.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

make like a tree

and branch out. i apparently am now going to keep bottles of grey goose in everyone's freezer and borrow clothing from all of my hosts. funny story about the grey goose - it wouldn't fit on the shelf with all the other vodka, so i had to put it on the top shelf. alright, maybe that's not really a funny story, so much as an amusing antecdote. whatever.

I LOVE MY NEW HAT! love it so much that i'm wearing it right now. i think it'll be my official blogging hat. and of course, it'll come with me to my first ever comic book convention. oh man, i am so going to geek out. but, yeah, about the hat. totally worth the wait and extreme torture of knowing there was a present, but not knowing what it was. so thanks again - it fills my heart with glee!

so, i had a lot of fun last night. only problem is, sushi apparently doesn't count as dinner. also, i forgot i was on antibiotics. oops. but i met a bunch of new people and made friends again with others, ate all the baby carrots in sight and got a new hat. did i mention that yet?

went to the mall today with kim and her sister to watch them get makeovers. and all i have to say is that if you thought kim was cute before, she is totally slamming now. we will seriously never pay for drinks again.

i feel like there was something else i wanted to mention, but you're going to have to wait for me to take a nap, wake up and remember it before i tell you.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

best worst pickup line ever

"you better be careful walking in the rain without an umbrella - you know sugar melts when it gets wet."

it made me chuckle. on the inside. where it counts.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

and a good time was had by all...

"kim, we just reached the point in my ear infection where i've lost my sense of direction, both personally and globally. oh, and everything you say is going to be really funny!"

so, i really suck at being sick. not suck at it like i get all cranky and miserable, but suck at it as in i just become stupid and incapable of thought, which actually makes me a more cheerful and upbeat person than usual. and i promise this is the last time i'll whine about it, but i forgot what it was like. really, i did. these last 4 months i've felt like a functioning member of society. it's been great - not sleeping all the time, not going to bed at 10 PM on a saturday, not not going out at all (i'm a fan of double negatives). and while i knew that the surgery was not going to stop me from ever getting sick again, i was really kinda hoping it would. cause really, one could get used to this crazy thing called "being healthy." although, i did sorta miss the funny faces my doc makes when he looks in my ears ("ugh, stuff that color should never be there!") TMI? too bad.

oh well, at least i managed to procure items making my bathroom the cutest bathroom that ever bathroomed before i cut the evening short...

the week in review

i'm going all non-traditional and making thursday the start of the week. the start of a "oh yeah, i remember when i used to do that!" week.

thursday - i stayed at thursday in the square until the bitter end. except it wasn't bitter - it was fun! i got rained on and got the lead singer to wish a good friend a happy birthday via cell phone. and then there was jaegger!

friday - went on one of the best dates i've been on in years. years i say! :)

saturday - crashed a wedding. actually, i was invited to the wedding by someone who was crashing the wedding already, but, either way, i was not invited and still went. and everyone loved me (or was it the fedora?), naturally.

sunday - i did nothing. it was awesome. i always do nothing on sundays and it's always awesome.

monday - i called in sick, cause i was sick. good reason, right? so i slept for 19 hours (no really, humans are capable of this) and eventually felt better.

tuesday - went to allentown hardware with a verra good friend for a glass of verra good wine. ya know, i don't know why i don't go there more often. i always have a fantastic time and i don't think they have a bad bottle of wine in the place (at least not that they'd ever have the audacity to serve me). so, i'm going to go there more often. hopefully, someone will come with me.

today - no, this is what sick feels like. everything hurts, i took way too many (legal) drugs so coherent thought is nonexistant and i have no desire to partake in the plans for the evening. which is not to say that i'm going to stay home - that would be admitting defeat! but i am taking a nap. and since you stalk my blog more than you check your voicemail - call me and let me know when i should no longer be napping. :)

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

today is brought to you by the letter "argh!"

pirates abounded in my life today. seriously, they were all up in my face and all over the place.

firstly, i have been requested to show the store that sells these to a friend. her baby loved 'em, and now she needs more. and for the record, the one i bought was way better. and by better i mean bigger. and cuter. much cuter.

then i get emailed this. i wasn't aware that pirates often ate half chicken dinners, but i do, so i'm ok with that.

and then i'm perusing my webcomics and see a banner ad for this (sorry, greg)!

ok mr. verbinski, i can take a hint. i will go see your movie. and love the heck out of it, regardless of what the critics say.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

new plan

i've gotta be on plan k by now, but here it is - marry rich. according to msnbc, it's rather easy. hang out in art galleries, buy lots of clothes and get your mba. it's like i was destined to never work again. except for tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that...

Saturday, July 07, 2007

you wouldn't like me when i'm angry

i hate the new girl at work so much. and i rarely hate. oh sure, i joke about it, toss the word around like it's nuttin', but i mean, i seriously loathe this person. she is so idiotic and annoying and worthless as a human being that i actually lay in bed at night thinking about how much i hate her and how much better my life would be if i quit my job and never saw her again. really, i'm bad at hating, mostly cause i'm bad at caring but this girl is just the opposite of everything that's good in the world. ugh.

my main concern with this? the staying awake at night contemplating my hate has led me to sleep less, which has me worried that when i get the call to go crash the wedding i'll be too tired to properly fulfill my role as "best wedding date ever." which just means i'll have one more reason to hate her.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

in case 17 times wasn't enough...

...thanks again for helping me move. and for your willingness to drive the wrong way down a one-way street, even though it turns out that the part of the street i live on really is two-way. and how did i figure that out? with some bastardized scientific method. i waited until the parking switched to the other side of the street and watched to see what the natives did. so, no laws were broken (other than driving backwards on my old street - but really, that's just fun), but your utter disregard for traffic safety in the interest of delivering my belongings to their new resting place goes down as two thumbs-up in my book. rock.

also, i'm so glad my landlady stopped by yesterday and informed me that the blinds to my apt are outside. this is a good thing because 1) i was going to buy blinds tonight and 2) now i won't have to look at my neighbors, unless i want to. which i don't.

lastly, and i can't believe i haven't mentioned this yet - i own a fedora. i purchased it like, an hour before i signed the lease, which i guess overshadowed the whole "fedora-thing." but, yeah, i love it. it makes life better.

Monday, July 02, 2007

moving on up

...and on the eighth day god created the internet, and saw that it was good. and then no one ever did anything productive again. i think in my next life i want to be a cable gal. the cable people alway seem so happy. maybe it's because they know they spend their days bringing joy to those people who would otherwise be forced to do things like unpack or fit all of their clothes in their own closet. it has to be a rather fulfilling job. just like working at disneyworld.

well, i don't really know if this place is a step up. i mean, in some respects the place is much better, but i'm really missing my skylights and ginormous bathroom. i'm missing that place in general, truth be told, but i'm also really glad i don't live there anymore. i realize that sounds incredibly contradictory, but i stand by my statement.

my favorite quote from the whole moving experience?
"so, are we moving the cleaning supplies last?"
"we're not moving them at all - i have issues with cross-contamination"
"what? they're cleaning supplies - they clean"
"look, i am not taking grime from one apt. and putting it in another - that's just sick!"
i really like to throw stuff out. i'm seriously considering ditching a bunch of my furniture. of course, i would feel like a jerk ditching it after someones who are not me carried it here, so nevermind, i'm keeping all of it. and treasuring it always.

also, i'm really enjoying the fact that the combined total of the 37 minutes i spent outside this weekend significantly lightened my hair. take that hairdresser - i'm going to be blond whether you like it or not! even if i have to do it the old-fashioned, sans chemicals, free way!

well, this is strange. i've been craving the internet for the last two days, and now that i have it i sorta wanna go outside. and that's exactly what i'm going to do. especially since my bed is too heavy for me to rearrange my bedroom myself. and yes, i know i've only had it setup for 2 days.