Friday, June 29, 2007

moving is fun!

well, perhaps moving isn't fun, but parts of it can be fun. such as:

"this pile of boxes is all shoes, but not all of my shoes."
"oh, that's cool... wait, the whole pile is all your shoes?!"
"well, not all of them..."

"these boxes are really heavy"
"they're full of clothes"
"they're still heavy"

"remember when you dived in front of a car to save the remote?"
"dude! time warner will charge you $15 if you don't return the remote!"

"can we drink wine on our patio?"
"yeah, sure. all the time."
"i mean, starting now."
"umm, could we just sit on the living room floor instead?"
"good idea. this way i can watch the cops give me a ticket."

"i think our new neighbors have a kid named apache."
"i don't believe you."
"i couldn't make that up - it's too good!"
(one car load later)
"hey, the other kid's named bombay!"
"now you're the one making things up."
"no, really. i wonder if the third's named cactus."

really, it should not be this amusing. but i'm glad it is.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

just in case... were as curious as we were, the bartender's last name is not quinn. ever plan on making it an early night and eric asks if he can come out it's really best to just say "no." oh, sure, he'll probably whine and show up anyways, but at least then you'll have made an effort to avoid the "just one more round" again, and again, and again... were wondering, i'm not always as intelligent as i would like everyone to believe, but this always has entertaining results. allow me to demonstrate the fun by transcribing the following conversation:
e - "next time, we're hanging out in my neighborhood"
g - "you live two blocks from here"
k - "yeah, i had to travel from tonawanda!"
e - "did you take a sherpa?"
k - "yeah, i left it at gabby's with some water and oats"
g - "it's probably eating my shoes as we speak"
k - "you know sherpas are humans, right?"
g - "then why are you giving it oats?!"

...i mention a desire to go back to school, again, remind me of these following things please:
1) i hate going to class and having to study, albeit rare, though it was.
2) no need to break six figures on the student loans.
3) i don't know what state, much less city, i'll be living in next year. sorta hard to pick a school that way.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

random is good

is it any wonder that HEAT and HATE are comprised of the same 4 letters? honestly, i really shouldn't complain. not that that's ever stopped me before...

there are two things that are always going to happen when i try to take a nap. suddenly, my phone will start ringing non-stop. the other is some jackass will start doing yardwork. the "yard" in question today was my own. "yours?" you ask, and rightfully so. i don't have a yard! i wanted to shout out the window - "hey, 3 days before i leave you decide to tackle the vegetation and make this not look like a crackhouse? seriously?!" so, you know, that was cool.

also, if you or anyone you know has a cat that would enjoy a never-been-used scratching post/cubby hole/dangly toy thing, please come and take it. my cat is far too ghetto-fab to play with store bought things. she prefers old socks and shoe boxes.

and on the list of random things to do this week is to go to a kinda sorta not really sure if it is but most likley is job interview with an open bar thursday night. my aunt's taking me to the buffalo spree best of buffalo party (we're vips, natch) and they apparently want to contract me for some events. that's all well and good except for three things:
1. i'm not sure if my new dress is "schmoozing appropriate," but i'm wearing it anyways
2. there's a good chance once they learn that i don't plan all star night that they won't want to talk to me anymore. but really, that's ok - then i'll just hit up the open bar.
3. i have no idea what events buffalo spree does. i know all about shopping sprees, spree candy and i even know that the spree is a river in germany (thanks google!) but i have no idea what the buffalo spree does, other than publish magazines i've never read. care to help me out? there's some cat furniture in it for you if you do...

late breaking news

baby wickham is walking. next stop video games. :)

Monday, June 25, 2007

bad habit

when it comes to the game of "stay home from work," i suck. i've already checked my work email 4 times and spoken to work twice. i'd say i need a hobby, but it'd be more accurate to say i need to spend time with my hobbies.

not that i should be hobbyizing today. i need to be packing. and i am, but it's so boring... it's just that i want to go do fun things outside like walk around the marina instead of sitting on my kitchen floor and figuring out which fake-tupperware containers are missing lids so i can throw them out. and i can't hear rhapsody in my kitchen. you see my dilemma, i'm sure.

but, the sooner i get this done the sooner, i get to go take that walk, right?

Sunday, June 24, 2007

free _allin

due to one incredibly fun-filled night at the wild mushroom approximately 17 bajillion years ago i am incapable of listening to tom petty"s "free fallin" without replacing all the fallins with ballins and substituting my own lyrics. just thought you should know.

btw, does anyone else find that an apostrophe is just not allowed on blogger?

all good things

you know you ate way too many potato chips the night before when you go home, brush your teeth, go to sleep and still wake up the next morning with a mouth that tastes like potato chips. this is disturbing, and strangely delicious.

alright, now that the potato chip issue has been resolved allow me to update you on packing. i'm not doing it. i am throwing stuff out like a mofo, but i have very few things in boxes. however, when i was asked by my family yesterday if i would like blank, where blank is a random object, i did have the mental aptitude to say, "no, if i take it, then i have to move it. this is an entirely unacceptable situation." i may have used those exact words.

my stomach hurts. i'm blaming the potato chips.

so, i had this huge mountain of clothes that i was going to get rid of becuase they didn't fit anymore. this made me sad, because i love my clothes but happy that i wouldn't have to move them. now i'm happy that they fit, but sad that i have to move them. hopefully kim only owns like, 12 articles of clothing so i can use her closet too.

i really need to call my landlord and find out what the "toilet in the dining room" situation is. additionally, now that i have a way to get the couch out of the apt (i'm really hoping you weren't kidding about lowering the couch off the balcony, cause i'm banking on that right now) now i need a way to get it to the new place. so, uh, anyone have a pickup truck or know someone who does? if yes, i will buy you two bottles of your drink of choice as oppossed to the one that everyone else gets (and yes, i know exactly what i'm getting myself into).

my sister's graduation was really nice yesterday, even though my camera kept being a jerk. so i don't really have any pics of my sister "graduating," but i have some good ones of what came after. i'll post them after i've done something that warrants a break.

and i am never eating potato chips again.

Friday, June 22, 2007

two of a kind

my new favorite bartender has the same name as my cat. this is incredibly convenient as now i only need to remember one name to yell when i'm annoyed. no really, it's ok, my cat doesn't mind and the bartender encouraged me to give him a talking to if he didn't serve me fast enough. i think he's responding well to the therapy.

sometime during sample wednesday i also decided that it would be a good idea to not do anything i'm not willing to blog about. that being said, i have nothing to blog about.

Tomorrow is the 3 month anniversary of my surgery. That’s 3 months of not being sick. May seem incredibly small and insignificant a timeframe – but this is the first 3 months in longer than I care to remember that I haven’t called in sick, begged a secretary for a doctor’s appt, taken antibiotics or laid in bed asking “why, god, why?” so yeah, I’m rather stoked about the whole thing. Huzzah for modern medicine!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

for bob

spidey v. batman, round 2

it's the end of the world...

guesstimating is now accepted by MS word as a real word. czech it out.

Monday, June 18, 2007


did you ever meet a person who made you stop and seriously ponder how they've managed to live this long without dying or having their face kicked in or dying because their face was kicked in? well, the queen of them all works in my office. and i dare say, she has won. she broke my spirit, i have no fight left. if you need me, i'll be staring dejectedly at the internets.

taking care of business

i just signed a lease to a place with a back yard.

my summer job just may involve asskicking awesomery

i'ma gonna go celebrate. :)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

take a picture

well, that was actually a lot more fun than i was expecting. i didn't get grilled nearly as extensively as i feared. the conversation pretty much went:
"so where are you going to live?"
"i don't know"
"and where are you going to work after october?"
"i don't know!"
"and are you still going to europe for a mo nth?"
"i don't know!!"
"could you pass the wine?"
"i don't k- oh, yeah, sure - here you go."

at any rate, i will be answering the first question tomorrow and will be signing a lease. either at the awesome place with a back yard, or at the place that i think my former stalker once occupied. if it is that house, it's beautiful. i'd rather stay in allentown, but back yard house has forbidden me to take harlee with me, which i haven't had the heart to break to her yet. we'll see what the stalker house landlord has to say about feline occupants.

oh, i'm also going to have to skip the "house-cooling" party. i know, big surprize there. but, it turns out i can't do it on the 23rd cause my sister's graduation is later than we thought and promptly followed by a 50th birthday party (not for my sister). how much fun could a 50th birthday party be, do you ask? a lot. they have a hot tub and make the best damn martinis you could ever hope to taste. and they have a karaoke machine. but, i promise, promise, promise that i will have a house-warming party and that we can still play beer pong and flip cup in the dining room of whichever new place i choose. actually, we can still do that any night the last week of june at my current place, if you want.

and lastly, i took 113 photos today of the flowers at my parents and aunts house. that's just, a lot. and going to take forev-uhr to upload to flickr. totally worth it, though.

family affair

so, who's ready for a fun-filled, action-packed, family day? normally, i would be all about it, but i have a feeling i'm going to be the center of attention at this one - and family affairs are the one time i'd love to divert the spot light to someone else. maybe my sister got her tattoo and everyone can focus on that instead.

by the by, this is what i was talking about last night. it's even funnier in color. and it's on june 30. and i just added to my closet two more j.crew dresses. soon, the entire collection will be mine...

Saturday, June 16, 2007

strawberry fields.

it's official - i'm no longer a redhead. i'm not exactly a blonde either. i think i'm rocking the best of both worlds.

old apartment

i had my mind completely blown last night. as in, i was actually speechless and incapable of thought. not a common occurence. you think after living with someone you know them, and then you find out they're an adultress. not exactly a cheerful revelation. don't get me wrong, i still love the girl - once you achieve friend status i'm all about giving the unconditional love. but, umm, yeah, still sorta in shock about how people will try to rationalize just about any behavior.

i've also come to the conclusion that i give really crappy advice when i'm drinking. which is a shame, i could've used my A game last night. i'm going to go ahead and not be hard on myself since i'm a tad preoccupied as of late, but still, i would've liked to have been able to do/say more. fortunately, i think i'll have a chance to make it up tonight. this is something worth staying dry for.

Friday, June 15, 2007

talk tonight

i love when the drunk give the drunk advice, and it actually ends up being good. rock on.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

wonder wall

gabby would like all of you to know that when she's laying in bed dying of liver failure, she'll think kindly of all of you who said, "you know, you should be drunk more often - you're more fun that way."

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

like it was meant to be...

"well, we can go shopping and get baby carrots while we discuss apartments"
"wait, how did you know about the baby carrots?!"
"what do you mean, i love baby carrots"
"no, i love baby carrots - i eat them all the time!"
"ohmygod, we will be the best roommates ev-uhr!"

wrong way

did you ever say to yourself, "why couldn't i make the easy decision?" like, hypothetically, why couldn't i just suck it up and move to nyc like i've always wanted and at least then have been happy to find an apt the size of one of my current closets that only costs $600 plus utilities? why? well, for starters, it would've sorta made me a jerk. and for enders, i would have hated myself for being that jerk.

don't get me wrong, i'm entirely happy with the decision i made and would make it again, it's just i hate looking for apts. i hate it more than the actual moving process. it's like looking for a new job, except the deadline has ginormous reprecussions. i hate reprecussions. they're mean.

in other news, i am again gainfully employed. as a secretary. i got my mba, and now i'm a secretary. and not like the one from "secretary," unfortunately. le sigh. technically, i'm an executive assistant and i'll make the same pay for potentially less work/stress, but still, it sorta sucks. better than being unemployed, but not really a "resume builder." i can just imagine explaining this one to people i interview with. "so, what happened here?" "well, i, umm, at the last minute decided to throw my life in a tail spin and spend the next 3 months rinsing out coffee mugs, for the fun of it?" "great, we'll give you a call... later."

oddly enough, i still don't feel stress so much as an overwhelming desire to spend all of my time shopping. this cannot be a good sign.

Monday, June 11, 2007

left to my own devices

i'm forsaking the red. we had a lot of great times together but i've moved on. it's time to try something new. time to throw caution to the wind and jump headlong down the path i've already chosen.

i'm going blond.

drastic, i know. but really, i think it'll be ok. better than ok, even.

additionally, it suddenly dawned on me that the last time i went to a different city was 2 years (YEARS!) ago. that's pathetic, on my part. the thing is, when you date someone long distance you spend all your time off and money visiting them, or being visited by them. so yeah, i've been to nyc a lot, but no where else. i plan on changing that. first things first - toronto on june 30. what better way to say goodbye to my current apt then by being an expatriate for a weekend? a sure to be fantastic weekend.

also on the list:
sterling - greg, we really need to make this happen this year. fo' reals.

sounds of our lives

remember when we were on the porch and all of you demanded new ring tones for when you call my phone? well, i hate the ones you picked. they suck. the thought of you calling me actually fills me with dread. so, effective immediately, you will be returning to the following:
  • male drinking buddies will ring to "tubthumping"
  • bff and vice bff to "girls just wanna have fun"
  • other females to "short skirt, long jacket" (not that any of you dress this way, but feel free to start)
  • i think i'm going to give my sister the "mr. softee" ringtone. she loves ice cream more than anyone else i know.
  • text messages will remain as "sex and the city," regular calls as "batman: the animated series" and lack of caller ID as "the x-files."
so let it be written, so let it be done.

hey man, nice shot

ok, so maybe i was a little harsh with regards to the poor driver man last night, but i can't help it. i've been listening to a lot of angry music lately - which is really the only kind i idenify with as that's what was popular during my formative years. although i always bathed regularly i spent the majority of my youth wrapped in one of my dad's flannels. but never in the summer. i may have been an angry and pissed off teen, but i wasn't stupid. summers were for cute tanktops and houseparties. one had to keep their priorities straight.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

i hate stupid people

myself included. i realize that as of late i've spent approximately 87% of my waking hours trashed, but that notwithstanding, buffalo cab drivers are the worst. if you are a cab driver in buffalo your sole purpose in life is to cart drunk people from point a to point b. of course, on occasion you have to drive the people who can't drive due to their need for crazy mexican eye surgery that doesn't work (i'm fortunate enough to belong to both groups), but that being said, it's always best to assume your fare is trashed and therefore, wisest to not throw your automobile into reverse. cause really, the threat of running over my finely pedicured toes is not doing much for your annual gross income. and yes, i'm aware of the fact that it's not wise to cross behind motor vehicles, but if they are at a complete stop when you start, it should be excused. and so, i'll quote one of my favorite bands, "i really think you'd be better off if you were dead." it's ok, i don't mind the walk.

it's good...

  • to have a plan
  • to have a plan B. and plans C-F for that matter
  • to wear your favorite pants 3 days in a row - and to hell with anyone who disagrees
  • to listen to sad love songs, and not feel the least bit sad
  • to make new friends and catch up with the old ones
  • when all you need is your own company to have fun
  • to get an ego boost and slew of free drinks from a cute boy, even if he is a crazed half scottish paratrooper from the royal canadian air farce who got into a knife fight with a pakistani during the war on terror and then makes sure your friend isn't pakistani after he opens the switchblade and then tells you he has a son, but doesn't like to talk about him. it makes him sad.
  • to always have a good story to tell the next day
  • to listen to your favorite songs cranked to eleven
  • to be the center of attention (god, i love that)
  • to walk the allentown art fest 3 times and not buy a single thing other than fresh-squeezed lemonade
  • to be a pretty, pretty princess
  • to be happy with the present and ecstatic for the future
  • to know and really, truly believe that the best is yet to come

Friday, June 08, 2007

i'm only happy when it rains

i love thunderstorms. always have. they never scared me as a kid, or at the very least, i stopped finding them scary at the age of 10 when i had to be brave for the little sister who inevitably would crawl into my bed. it was really cute of her - "gabby, i'm safe here, right?" "yes, sweetie, i won't let anything hurt you." aww.

at any rate, one of the reasons i've stayed in this apt for 3 years despite my crackwhore of a landlord is my obsession with skylights. i love 'em. there is nothing better than laying on the couch and watching the rain stream down. i almost signed a lease that was $400 more a month than what i currently pay just so i could have skylights in 3 rooms instead of one. yeah, i gots issues. at any rate, i posted some truly craptacular pictures of a thunderstorm as seen through my roof on flickr. here's hoping it a) rains again in the next 14 days and b) i learn how to use my camera before then. wish me luck.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

new record

i just hit an all time low. i left work early to go out drinking - and then didn't go out drinking. i'm not sure what this says about me, but i'm sure the words "jerk," "lame" and "going to get a beat down tomorrow" come to mind.

sometimes i'm such a fecking cretin.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

i do believe

i look really good in fedoras. everyone does. therefore, i am going to buy the adorable one i saw at clutch and wear the heck out of it. it's going to be awesome.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

note to self

when going out drinking, eat first. if that's not an option, don't wear heels. really, this is for the best.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

your opinions matter

there are two very important issues at hand: hair color and parties. please, don't be stingy with your recommendations; no one can improve if they don't get positive feedback.

issue the first
i'm not sure what to do about my hair color. should i:
a) return to the sultry red of yore
b) try a dark, smoking hot brunette look
c) continue down this path to blondom
d) keep it the same
e) pull a britney

issue the second
the original plans for a going away party have been scraped, as i'm not actually going anywhere, just yet. however, i do have this gigantic apartment that is begging for a party. we'll call it a "house-cooling" party, and thankee to the person who provided the name. it'll be just like a house-warming party except i'll give you the presents and i won't care how much you spill on the rugs. i'm just throwing them out anyway. but, because i'm incapable of throwing a party for less than 1,000 people (and i've done the math - they won't fit) i need your help. please tell me:
a) your favorite drink - otherwise i'm going to resort to martinis and beer, with margaritas for good measure
b) 5 songs you want to hear - and no, i will not play elliot smith
c) where i can find ping pong balls so i can skool all of you in beer pong
d) if june 16 or 23 is prefered

thanks for your help, and have a great day

time wasters

i was recently invited to this thing called "facebook." facebook joins a long list of highly regarded "keeping in touch thingees" that i have accounts for and ignore. but not this time! i'm committed. i made a profile and i'm going to go find more friends and have fun with it! i'm not too sure why. i think it might be the adorable icons.

at any rate - here's the internet space i'm wasting: - updated 2 short years ago! - i think i've been evicted - it's got nuttin'!

in other news, i've recently lost my ability to sleep. this means that i'm going to have a lot more time to write, and it's going to be a lot less coherent. which may end up being fun...

Friday, June 01, 2007

i'm in ur tent, drinking ur beer

so tonight is the M*A*S*H bash at the red cross. i'm looking forward to it. even though i really wanted to wear my pink dress and be a pretty princess and have since been informed that this is a casual event. dammit. but, i do get to wear my "on a mission" shirt which is always a conversation starter, or ender.

"what's your mission?"
"getting away from you"

expect updates tomorrow.

see also - origins