Wednesday, December 26, 2007

the most wonderful...

i don't really know if it's the most wonderful time of the year. don't get me wrong, i love a month of parties followed by christmas and my birthday in the same week. but i tend to think that anytime you can spend with the ones you love is the most wonderful time, so i guess i'm pretty lucky that that happens more than once a year.

of course, there are the presents. and i do love getting presents, but i really, truly, not kidding at all, prefer to give them. we did christmas a little different this year- not all the cousins exchanged (all whopping 4 of us) and the aunts/uncles didn't exchange with the nieces/nephews. everyone saved money, but i wanted to buy more stuff for people! hopefully, we'll all be gainfully employed next year and can go back to wanton expressions of selflessness.

remember when i mentioned that i love getting presents? it's the thought that counts. and it's really the quality of the thought that really counts (which is not to say that i don't appreciate the bottles of lotion from coworkers, but you know...) this year i got two of the most thoughtful gifts i've ever received, from someone who has really grown into one of the most thoughtful people i've ever met. my dear baby sister, formerly known as bratty maddie, not only got me one supremely badass batman hoodie, but also made me a ginormous scrapbook of us growing up through the years and the rest of our family. she wanted me to know how much she loves me and will miss me and make sure i had something to help me when i get homesick far away.

some of my haircuts may have been atrocious, but this book is really wonderful.

Monday, December 24, 2007

all i want for christmas is...

the following. any by "all i want for christmas" i mean "all i want on ebay or in a store in this time zone." it's a tad late for christmas wishes, i realize.

LOTDK - annual #5
Batman & Robin - issues 2 and 9 and on and on
Crime Bible - issues 3-5
Four Horsemen - issues 5 and 6
Amazons Attack! - the whole shebang
Wedding Special - all the wedded bliss

and, even more importantly than feeding my comic craving, i hope each and every one of you and yours has a fantastic holiday. enjoy!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

and the winner goes to...

this is the time of year when everyone gives their top ten lists and year in reviews. so i'm told. i don't pay much attention to really know if that's true or not. but i felt like doing my own - just in case! you know how i hate feeling left out.
  • least favorite month - june. that month was just a bad idea.
  • favorite month - august. so much fun was had!
  • favorite shoe store - akira. it sounds like an awesome japanime movie and has awesome shoes.
  • least favorite place to go on vacation - DC. but they keep one of my favorite people there so i'll be back.
  • favorite place to go on vacation - my apartment. or chicago. it really depends on whether or not i feel like being deathly ill the week after.
  • worst reason to move to chicago - to win a bet. don't worry, i won't actually make you pay me the $10.
  • best quote to give if you were actually going to collect on a debt - "i want my money, bitch!" i heart you pearl.
  • best reason to move to chiacgo - umm, go there. and then write your own list.
  • best double-edged comment i've ever received - "you look really nice tonight. cause ya know, you're normally slutting it up but tonight you look good." i heart you jess.
  • favorite mythical creature to be compared to - mermaids. they have a six second attention span and a love of shiny objects.
  • most unexpected compliment - that my sports commentary was uncrappy. who knew?!
  • most traumatic thing that happened to me that i'm willing to post in a public forum - the loss of my hat. i'll never forget you.
  • person most likely to render google unnecessary - bob "i'm cutting you off for your own good" g.
  • favorite movie to watch in 2007 - "batman begins."
  • favorite movie to watch in 2007 that was actually released in 2007 - "superbad." it was supergood!
  • best new thing i did this year - go to a comic book convention. how have i never done that before?!
  • favorite thing to do at work that doesn't involve working - looking for new work. it's the thing to do.
  • favorite comic book title - robin. took me by surprize too.
  • comic book title i wish i would have read but i can't find anywhere in buffalo - the wedding planner. comic book heroes get married! what's not to love?!
i think that's a wrap!

Friday, December 21, 2007

that was unexpected

i had to go to the bank today. i forgot that i didn't order more checks because i didn't know when i was going to be moving and then - whoops! - i ran out. i was expecting this to be a terrible experience. full of pain and hatred. instead, it was really nice! the teller was cheerful and pleasant and gave me a bunch of "counter checks," which work like the real thing, only they're not as pretty. she wished me a happy holiday season and i skipped off on my way - ability to pay rent in hand.

i was so elated, in fact, that i decided to boldly go where no one has ever gone before - the manuscript library museum. that place is AWESOME! it's got huge vaulted ceilings and all of these dramatic shadows - i really missed my camera. and it has some awesome letters, i'm sorry, manuscripts. napoleon, mary queen of scots, pope pius the something, al capone, dillinger, the boston strangler, lee harvey oswald... it was cool. you should go. i'll come too.

so, i think i'm going to send out some christmas cards. don't be offended, but probably only to family members. i, uh, think i may have put off the cards a bit too long to actually do the whole shebang. but don't worry, i'll still wishing you a Happy HanuRamaKwanzMas!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

things i learned today, which is now technically yesterday

  1. i should wear suits more often.
  2. my last day at the roz is actually january 31.
  3. hiring joan rivers impersonators is a lot more complicated than you might think.
  4. that bottle of wine i bought at the 4th winery we visited is still really tasty even when you start off sober.
  5. taking tomorrow (today) off is going to be such a great thing.
  6. timothy olyphant has remarkable nipples. and by that, i mean it's impossible to not remark on how ludicrously large they are.
  7. day-am, that's some good wine.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

not what i had planned

i sorta pictured tonight to be a pretty easy going night, one where i would put my clothes away, chat on the phone, go to bed early. ya know, a lame night that's awesome at the same time. instead, my ceiling decided to leak. drip drip and then steady stream. thank god i was on the phone with a rational person who suggested that perhaps i stop staring at it and instead call my landlord. which i did. as soon as we were done talking.

so, i haven't unpacked yet. i mean, it's clear that i don't plan on staying here. but somehow, my landlord and his mom thought the place looked great, and that i'm really trying to find a job in buffalo (i look on occasion out of guilt). and then they asked if i might want to meet one of their other tenants who's in need of a roommate. umm, sure?

and now i'm jamming out to nickel creek (listen to "jealous of the moon" and "anthony" now. NOW!) laundry did get put away though.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

season's greetings

I just can’t seem to get into the holiday spirit this year. I’ve got pretty dresses, snow, parties and warm holiday tidings, but it’s just not doing it for me. Which is probably why I did such a bang-up job planning the office holiday party. Whoops.

At any rate, there are at least two people who are in the holiday, or at least the nerd-each-day spirit. I was sent 2 awesome presents, which I’m sharing with you in the interest of holiday cheer. Enjoy!

The darkest Knight
The joke’s on you

With friends like these, who needs Google?!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

does this taste ok to you?

the problem with being sick and congested is that everything tastes like crud, or, if you're lucky, like cardboard. the real problem with this is that you can't tell if it's your out of commission nose, or if the food really has taken a turn for the worse.

after 9 days of this i'm feeling much better and can breathe and smell again. the troubling part is i had some frozen pizza for lunch and it still tasted like yech. so, my sense of smell is either still jacked up, or i'm having a very delayed reaction to food poisoning. guess which one i'm hoping for.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

time flies...

this is the time of year when most people are counting down the days until their birthday (20 for me) or the days until the birth of someone else (14 for jesus, 7 for a wookie, i do believe). i, however, am counting down how many days i have left to wear a roz ID badge. that'd be 12.

it's gonna be really flippin' wierd to no longer be an employee of good ol' RPCI after 6 years, 6 months, 23 days and 8 hours. on the other hand, it's really about damn time.

so, now i just need to answer the following question: what's scarier? moving to c-go without a job lined up or moving home to the 'burbs after 10 years.

i'm leaning towards the pretty city. if i'm going to broke, i might as well do it someplace fun. and if it doesn't work out, the 'burbs'll still be there.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

finally, a plan i can follow through on

i want to send this guy money and have him make this a full movie.

and what the heck - these guys too. hopefully they'll make a sequel that has an ending.

so, i've been challenged to write a post that's only about sports and none of that feelings stuff. which i think is a great idea. what good has talking about feelings ever done? i'm pretty sure it's caused war, famine and global warming. but seriously, it's certainly not helping me find a job, figure out what i want out of life, or get my laundry done - so what's the point? from now on, it'll be nothing but facts on this here blog. nothing open to interpretation and certainly nothing emotional.

as far as i can tell, the sabres are doing not so good this year. 13 wins and 14 losses so they're just shy of doing adequately. at leas they're doing better than the leafs. canada may have the stronger dollar but we have the stronger team. w00t! but, if the last ten games are any indication of what the rest of the season holds, i think the sabres are really headed in the right direction. too early for me to say anything about the playoffs, but i'm sure if they keep skating buffalo will keep being proud.

alright, cut me some slack. i'm new at this.

Friday, December 07, 2007

we're going on an adventure, grungie

i have no idea why I’m so intent on finding a music genre that characterizes my personality. maybe it’s because it’s the only thing i have to do that even mildly exercises my brain, but none the less, i think i found one. it’s grunge. granted, i bathe daily and haven’t worn flannel in years, but i think grunge really sums up my penchant for stomping around and finding annoyance with everything due to my insurmountable levels of angst. plus, I’m so congested that no one can understand what I’m saying, so eddie veder and i are really kindred spirits. glad we got that one solved.

today was one of those days that just seemed to drag on forever. probably cause it was my last day as a secretary. people have asked me how i feel about that. the answer?


except, you know, like more so. and right side up. so, as one does when they are a bored and under worked secretary (i will miss the under worked part, but not the bored part) i spent all afternoon emailing my bff. and then my bff and i decided to hang out when i got out of work, which just made the day seem even longer. so we go to dinner and engage in terribly inappropriate conversation and come back to my place so she can be terrified of my cat. my cat once ripped her finger open and now kelly will only enter my house whilst wearing gloves. that should be fun in the summer. at any rate, we decided we should go see a movie. “wanted” hasn’t come out yet which made me sad cause I really need something to get the awful taste of “hitman” out of my mouth. "awake" it was cause everything else wasn’t starting for another 364+6461 hours and i really wanted to see if anakin the mannequin learned how to act yet. and how! the movie was really good. subtle, yet entertaining with a twisty plot. the only problem is that whenever kelly and i watch movies together we always want to do whatever the lead characters do. like, when we saw "gone in 60 seconds" we wanted to be car thieves (yeah, i know) or when we saw "mission: impossible" we wanted to be secret agents. but it’s not like if we saw a dinosaur movie we’d want to be dinosaurs. at any rate, i can assure you, i do not want to be a victim of "anesthetic awareness." yep, you can count me out - just cause i like to tell each of you, with special attention to superfluous adjectives, what surgeons do to me does not mean i actually want to experience the superfluous adjectives. christ, where would be the fun in that?!

so, on the way home, we had to take a detour and the phrase "we’re going on an adventure" was uttered, which made me start talking in an inbred unicorn voice, which then meant that i had to drag kelly back inside to cower from my cat once more to watch charlie the unicorn. and pearl the landlord. i then released her so i could regale each of you with these wonderful tales.

hopefully, i'm still angsty enough for my blog to be entertaining - and for me to maintain my new label.

btw, these decongestants my doc gave me really work! and when he said they might make me hyper, he wasn't kidding. but it's gotta wear off soon, right?

Thursday, December 06, 2007

they grow up so fast

i'm so proud of the humanist. it's like he's a real blogger now. almost brings a tear to my eye. i have to admit, he's doing much better at whining than i am at linking. i'm a failure when it comes to finding new websites. so, with that, i give you this. i find it hysterical. there are probably only three other people in the multi-verse who agree, but the rest of you should be able to tolerate it.

that mcginnis is a wiley one.

i went to a shmooze event tonight. it was way more fun than i expected it to be. but i don't know why i was surprized. i went with a good friend which is really all that's needed to make anything fun. granted, i've never been held at gunpoint or stuck in an elevator for days, but i'm sure even that would have comedic moments that could be laughed about years later after lots of therapy. at any rate, i was talking to the commander today about where she wants to hang out for her berfday. she wanted to go to a euro lounge. i was like, "oh year, we've got 17 of those on my block alone. are you kidding me?!" but i finally got her to understand - it doesn't matter where we go, it'll be a blast cause she'll be with a ton of good friends. but just to be safe, we're going to prespa at 9 PM on 12/22. i have a feeling the evening will involve lots of shots and good-natured teasing of jen, so swing by if you wanna join in. and don't forget to remind jen that for 9 days only she'll be 2 years older than me. man, she hates that so much.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007


no wonder i feel like crap. i have strepth throat and a sinus infection. there are two things terribly wrong with this, other than the two things i just mentioned.
  1. everytime i go to chicago i get sick. and sicker every time i go. i don't care how many billboards say "we're glad you're here!" i'm really starting to think that city has it in for me. and i'm really starting to wonder if moving there is really the best idea. really.
  2. despite the fever and the fact that it hurts to breathe, i almost went into work today. clearly, i'm way too used to being sick to have it be obvious to me when i should stay home. in the end, reason took hold and i went back to bed.
on the bright side - my dearest dream did come true! i got to spend all day in bed feeling sorry for myself. not as awesome as the season finale of "heroes," but still pretty awesome. i'd say i could rock emo with the best of them, except i really don't like emo that much. could we instead say i rock the monster ballads like no one else? at least then i won't have to cut my bangs diagonal.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

battle cry

too much exposition you say? not enough youtube links? posting links is the easy part. i dare you to write soul-baring posts for a week straight and i'll post a link a day. whoever has the most corporate sponsors come next tuesday wins.

the goods, the bads and the wierd

while in c-go i got a fortune cookie that said "your dearest dream is coming true." i wish i could get a timeframe on that.

my birthday is in 27 days, which means that in 28 days this supremely ass-tastic year will be over. i know some consider it a bad idea, but i'm claiming january as my month. it'll be fun as heck!

i'm so exhausted i woke up this morning and wondered if it made me a worse person to go into work with only 64% brain functionality or to call in sick. i opted to drag myself in. i normally start to feel this way by friday, but the fact that i started feeling like this on a monday does not bode well for this week. especially since this is the first time since early october that i'm working a full 5 days in one week. it's a tough life, but i'm willing to take one for the team. i think what i really need to do is just eat a bunch of food to zap some life into my body and then spend as much time as humanly possible in my supercomfy bed which i missed so much and will never-ever spend a night away from again. unfortunately, i can't eat and sleep at the same time. well, i could try, but the humanist may get annoyed at my table manners then.

my cat was apparently stoned when i picked her up on sunday. this was kinda cool in that she was too baked to meow, but it's started to wear off. so while she's back to her meowing way, i'm glad she didn't suffer any permanent brain damage at the hands of my neighbors. she's still acting pretty mellow (for her) so maybe there are some lasting effects of the not totally terrible kind.

c-goians are wierd. they wear long-sleeve shirts, jeans and sneakers when it's 90 out, and no jackets when it's 30. some girls were even in skirts! i wanted to yell at them and ask them where their stockings were, but then i remembered i'm only 27 and should never use the word "stockings" in public. none the less, i was confuzzed, and not just from the brain freeze.

Monday, December 03, 2007


apparently winter is here. it happened right when i started looking for apts. this was conveniently after i had left wearing shoes with no traction. but do not fear! through a careful mastery of balance, shuffling, and looking pathetic until someone gave me an elbow to hold, i managed to not be the one who slipped on the ice. go me.

j.crew sent me a very merry gift guide. the second spread is all green things. i want them all. actually, i want the whole catalog, except for the stuff for men and kids, cause i'm a woman.

looking for a job is hard when you have a job. have i already compained about that? it just takes up a lot of time, or it would, if you weren't spending that time at work. i'll figure it out. i'll try calling my head hunter now and explaining very clearly the mysteries and joys of email.

speaking of the head hunter, he wants to know if i'm catholic. the archdiocese of chicago is hiring and they like their peeps to be catholic, although they will accept protestants. i'm having moral issues with this. mostly cause i'm in support of the things the church is against. am i a total sell out if i take the job (provided i get an interview) and keep my beliefs to myself and take my money and then spend it on sinful things like booze and women of ill-repute (i.e. myself and my friends)? what if i have sex and go to work the next day - will i burst into flames? or worse - what if i'm listening to "closer" by NIN on my iPod as i enter the office? i took communion as a maid of honor once and made the church lose power. this could be a dangerous job for me to have. i don't really know if worker's comp covers injuries caused by hedonism.

i'm telling ya, it's a scary world out there.

Saturday, December 01, 2007


i lost my hat.

took me by surprise

i go to c-go on tuesday and was homesick for b-lo on wednesday. considering the fact that i'm only here until sunday it was kinda weird. it's not like i moved here, but seeing as how this was the apt. hunting trip, maybe it was setting in. i saw some great apts. that i could really see myself living in, ones that i would actually take the time to unpack in and make a home, but, well, there's really no reason to do that just yet. still, it's nice to know the option exists, if the opportunity arrives.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

phat pasta

looking for a job is hard. I mean, I know I hired someone to do all the hard stuff for me, but now I’m getting calls and emails and thank god I’m off, or I’d never be able to manage all of it. and no, I’m not bragging considering that most of the jobs are for things that I’m so not qualified for. you mention that you know how to use Lawson and suddenly you get jobs to be the VP of IT. or, they want you to go to Atlanta and help a company install Lawson. hello – did you actually read my resume? are my initials AL for awesome Lawson-guy, or MS for master SQL-guy? no, they’re GP for got pie? I really like pie. but really, it’s been cool. I talked to a head hunter before I left for c-go who told me that I’m worth more than I thought, but no one will pay me that cause I’m young. oh well. then I accidentally stalked a really nice Canadian (are there any other kind?) in the airport who hooked me up with a lead for Praxair in Chicago. so, all in all, it’s good stuff.

we got thai last night. or rather, I got Japanese from a thai restaurant. two things to say about that – 1) it should be illegal to offer tempura as a delivery item. it arrives mushy and can be described as tempur-yech. 2) japanese noodles are the sumo wrestlers of the noodle world. seriously, those things are like obese spaghetti.

Monday, November 26, 2007

i am the coolest person i know

To Whom it May Concern,

I had the pleasure of speaking with Dan DiDio and Paul Levitz and discussing DC Comics' subscription service during Chicago's Wizard World. While I have noted some improvements, I do believe there are still several ways that the process can be improved, for both DC Comics and customers.

I have a passion for both comics and process improvement. I am equally comfortable in a board room with executives as I am taking talent to lunch. With a background in both business and the arts, I have a unique combination of skills that I am eager to utilize at your organization.

My well-rounded background in human resources includes:
ü Extensive benefits administration, training hundreds hospital-wide and providing employees with detailed information on options and advising on deadlines
ü Strong dedication to employee satisfaction
ü Vendor and external customer communication and relationship building
ü Human Resources Information System integration, operation, and database design
ü Project management and adhering to strict deadlines
ü Employee data analyzing, organizing, and reporting using Lawson, Oracle, and SQL
ü Major event coordination, significantly increasing attendance

The accompanying résumé outlines my potential for making a worthwhile contribution to your organization. As a dedicated human resources leader, I believe it would be mutually beneficial for us to meet. I look forward to the opportunity to speak with you to discuss my qualifications and set up a time to meet for an interview.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Subscription Girl

Sunday, November 25, 2007

i'm a fan of turkey

i have a resume. i have a job posting. these are two great things that go great together; trouble is, they don't leave much room for much else to be included.

thanksgiving was really strange this year. we did it at my mom's. and it was a success. mom didn't get all stressed and flip out, the food was great and all of us had a ton of fun together. i played like 4646196 games of cranium (original and cadoo) and even though i can't hum for shit, i can't get enough of these games. and now there's a cranium wow. i need it.

so, after dinner, plans were made to be insane. they started with a trip to toronto. to get my sister a fake ID. before you go getting all righteous on me, my intent is not to take her out and get her sloppy. i just want to be able to hang out with the girl. go to a bar and throw some darts. play some pool. laugh at all the girls her age who act retarded and wear tanktops in the snow.

anyways, we went to toronto. and were in the city limits for about 12 minutes. literally. all the "souvenier ID" stores were closed at 10:30 PM. lame.

so then we go to the outlet mall. at 1 AM. had to park in the middle of the parking lot. and i don't mean in a spot, i mean where cars normally drive, we parked. but it's ok, all the cool kids were doing it. upon walking into the mall we quickly realized that there were, on average, 1783 people for each car in the lot. there were lines to get into the stores. 3 hour waits to checkout. and 4 people fetal in a corner (i was one of them, the rest of my carpoolers were the other 3). so, we left. i think we were out of the car for about 37 minutes. our original plan was to then go out to an early breakfast and hit the mckinley mall at 5 AM, but we were so traumatized we just went home. quickly.

in summation, shopping after thanksgiving is dumb. if i was in the market for a 42" flat screen HD LCD TV, maybe i'd be willing to deal with the crowds so i could get it at 60% off, but otherwise, there is not a dress or pair of shoes out there that are worth it. seriously.

that being said, i'm off to the outlets now. :)

Monday, November 19, 2007

thug it out

i have timbaland stuck in my head. bear with me.

i had the cutest conversation with my sister tonight. sometimes i forget that she's (technically) an adult and that i can actually have real conversations with her now. it's like one of those super sappy things where she grew up and now i have a friend who i also happen to share genetic characteristics with. i hope i can get that on a pillow. but, in all seriousness, she's a lovely person and i'm flattered that she still comes to me for advice.

i dedicated all of yesterday to looking for a new camera. apparently, the only camera that exists that has all of the features is the one i broke. so i'm paying a stupid amount of money to have it fixed. it's a stupid amount cause i could buy a new camera for the same amount, but i don't like any of those cameras. oh, i'm also buying a proper case for it.

i really am glad i have a very predictable life. i saw a man get thrown out of a car saturday night. and i have to say, i really am thrilled with the knowledge that this will never happen to me, unless the car was on fire and being thrown from a moving vehicle was really the better alternative. i guess you really don't appreciate those things until you realize that not everyone has it as good. bummer for them.

so before i saw the man get decarfenstrated i was hanging out at brick bar. man, does that place ever rock! if i wasn't such a lame, tired loser i could have stayed there all night playing darts and rocking out to billy idol, depeche mode and guns n' roses. and even a little sublime for the fun of it. i need to hang out there more. you can come too.

this just in - did you know soft cell covered "tainted love?" i thought they wrote it! the pussycat dolls also covered it. those sluts - just who the heck do they think they are?!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

it works, bitches

after thorough scientific analysis, i have learned the following things:
  • it is, in fact, really easy to get drunk on white wine
  • i am not a rock star
  • i am also not a gangsta
  • i wish i had more minions

Monday, November 05, 2007


hurray for good friends and long-lasting cell phone batteries. :)

Saturday, November 03, 2007


i still cannot type an apostrophe without blogger wigging out and thinking i am trying to use the "find" fuction.

apparently, you are suppossed to get the job before looking for a new apt. where is the adventure in that? i say, get the apt and then find the job. nothing like some added incentive to really motivate a person. we will see if i can convince my leasing agent of that.

my aunt was laid off yesterday. 18 years with the radio station. i feel incredibly bad for her, but she is handling it better than i am, i think. i did not get really pissed until i heard that jack fm is going commericial (and revenue) free on monday. excuse me, how can you afford to do that when you needed to lay off your promotions director? could you explain that, pretty please?

i've been informed that i need to dress up tonight. normally i love getting gussied up, but to play beer pong? really? i know we're going out afterwards but, still, i don't... hey, what the heck! i just typed a ' and it didn't freak out on me! woo hoo!

so, i have to admit, i'm worried about feist. do you think she was prepared for the level of popularity she has achieved since she became an iPod commercial? i wonder if she thinks it was worth it, or if she misses her simple life from before. and once the novelty of her wears off and the media goes away, will she miss it? will her previous lifestyle seem small and alien or like home again?

Thursday, November 01, 2007

tickled pink

i love how gmail tries to put ads on the side that relate to your conversation. so when i emailed outgrabes to admit my jerkitudeness and apologize for running out on the pizza bill, gmail gave me the option to take a quiz to find out if i was emo. so i took it. and then it asked for my personal info and to take a survey before i got my results, so i politely declined and now i'll never know if i am indeed emo. but i think the fact that i spent most of my time chuckling, guffawing and outright giggling at most of the questions means that i am, most assuredly, not emo. not that there's anything wrong with being emo. i have friends who are emo!

by the way, is there anything sweeter than the rush of discovering that an incredibly sexy construction worker is flirting with you? oh, wait, there is. it's called "two of them."

Monday, October 29, 2007

200th Edition!

wow, umm, i'd like to thank my friends and family for their love and support all these years and for sticking with me during the not-so-funny times. you guys are da best.

enough of that.

yesterday, i finally figured out saturn's logo. you know, the car company. whose name is saturn? and whose logo is freakin' SATURN. yeah, just got that. i'm the kinda person who gives grad students a bad name.

in addition to figuring out simple 2-D logos, i also figured out why i've been so cranky. it's because there are too many variables in my life. which i knew was the problem, but i like explaining things in math terms. basically, my life is like that scary algebra problem that almost made you fail 8th grade math. there's a w, an x, a y and a z, which is just ridiculous in my opinion. so, i will force the roz to figure out when my last day is (which is an exciting and dynamic and truly interesting story in and of itself) since they apparently are trying to keep me for forever (flattering, but no thanks). then i will give my cousin and the commander noogies until they give me a real answer about whether or not they're going to live with me (i'll worry about what to do if they both say yes later). then i will find an apt and sign a lease. oh, and i'll get a job. and then i'll live in chicago. oh, i almost forgot, somewhere along the way people will respond to my ads on craigslist and buy my stuff so i can buy new shoes at akira.

i love when a good plan comes together.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

not for everyone

so, there i am, sitting in the lovely and historic shea's, watching lewis black. and although i've seen him on tv before, i was struck by how familiar he was. and i couldn't put my finger on it until he got good and worked up and i realized that i used to date that fucker! son of a fuck bitch! and then it became just that much funnier. :)

oh man, i am going to swear like a fuck tomorrow.

oh well.

Monday, October 22, 2007


my landlord and i finally talked. we're both really bad at the "tag, you're it" game. and i feel a ton better. i said i was getting laid off (which is close enough to being true for me to not feel too, too guilty) and he offered to let me not pay rent for a month. i mentioned i may have to relocate to find work, which he sorta expected me to say, and he said he would let me out of the lease.

i knew he was a nice guy and wouldn't be a jerk, but suffice it to say, i am most relieved.

Saturday, October 20, 2007


so, i was at this party, which was kinda lame, which is why i'm now home writing on my blog instead of still at the party, when someone came up to me while i was eating bruschetta and after a moment or two asked if i was eating garlic. nope, that's just the fumes from yesterday and today still wafting off of me.

yesterday has to have been the loveliest dinner party to have ever been had in the history of dinners and parties. not only was the table beautiful and the food delicious, but it was also a bunch of good friends having a great time together, with parachuting stay-puft marshmallow men. by the by, if anyone would like the recipe to the dressing (which i'm really glad you liked!) i'd be happy to share it with you. i'm just not posting it on the web as any randomites who may read this site do not get family heirloom recipes. but it is really easy to make. fo' reals. not chicken parmesan "easy" which requires ziploc bags and sledgehammers, but actually easy. but man, if that chicken parm wasn't good then i don't want to know what good is.

one of my friends competed today to be on a competitive video game team. i think that's awesome. not awesome like i want to do that (not that i could even if i did want to), but awesome that there's an option out there to join a team with other people and do the thing you really like. and people say that video games make people antisocial. as if. so i wonder, is there a competitive "who's the better superhero" team i can join? do people competitively read comics and then argue small details? ("no, fool, he dated silver st. cloud twice!") i doubt it, but i would like to share my dorkery with others.

i'm fairly certain the blush i wear is technically too pink for me, but i don't care, i like it. plus, it matches my costume's pom-poms, which makes it sorta cuter. and i think my new phone will match too. i can't wait to meet it!

is laying on my arms. it's taken approximately 12.7 minutes to type this sentence and correct all the typos. i think this is a sign that it's time for bed.

i'll never be a vampire now

i have consumed so much garlic in the last two days that i don't think my mouth will ever taste minty-fresh again. bummer, but totally worth it.

Friday, October 19, 2007


so, i sorta caused a ruckus. umm, i really only posted the last blog to let you know that i haven't been a spazz without due cause, but maybe i should've just said that? not that i won't tell you, but i really didn't mean to make anyone worried. but, thanks for your concern and sorry to make you concerned - all at the same time!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

i like things

take weekends for example. they generally tend to be fairly, if not completely, awesome. you hang out with your friends, play with their cameras - good stuff. and sometimes, you find out that some of the pics you took were pretty cool. and then sometimes, you find out they're really terrible! and have been posted to the interwebs! and no i will not link to it. you want to see all 57469 of me and the curly one's teeth at once, you gotta put some effort in.

but yeah, things i like. i like going to charity events and not actually contributing to the charity. i am a jerk. but, i also like winning things. so i bid in a silent auction for this totally weird (did i spell it right that time?) mirror shaped like a crown with neon lights. my cousin will love christmas this year. and i won a "how to find a new job" package. valued at $500. i was the only bidder for so much less than that. apparently no one in buffalo needs a job. at least not the ones who go to charity events. but, at any rate, i now get to have people write my resume and find jobs for me, or something to that effect. which is sorta like giving a sloth valium. just make it that much easier for me to sit on my ass and put no effort in.

but, perhaps the thing i like most of all, is red baron deep dish single supreme pizzas. and you thought i was going to get all mushy, didn't ya?

Friday, October 12, 2007

oh, the humanity!

so, the humanist decided that watching a bunch of sweaty guys on skates was more fun than drinking with me. as if. but no worries, my aunt is coming with me to the charity thing. and really, she should have been my first choice, seeing as how she always gets me into fun stuff for free.

speaking of family, as my cousin and i got into his car last night after an enjoyable and much overdue evening at 44, he turns to me and says, "your friends are fucking awesome!" the thought that went through my head was, "what, did you think only losers would hang out with me?!" but, instead, i graciously replied with, "you can come hang out anytime you want." so, with that, i hope his bravado and politics didn't offend anyone. at least not anymore than any of us normally offend each other.

and speaking of things that don't really logically flow, i may have had, a mere 23 minutes ago, the funniest reaction ever to almost dying. there i am, standing in the middle of the road after having tipsily followed my quasi-little-sister (thus dubbed many years ago as we're not actually related but i still feel very big-sisterly towards her) there to find that a hummer is barreling down on us. and then a car decided to go in reverse and aim for our cutely-clad tootsies. being too shocked to shout, run or do anything effective, i decided to take my leather gloves and smack the trunk with them. luckily, us and our shoes survived so we piled into abardine (which sounds a lot like one of my favorite nicknames, thus reinforcing our quasi-sisterhood) and safely went on our way.

sometimes, i really amuse myself.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

at least the song finally got out of my head

it takes a dang long time to upload a couple hundred pics to flickr. and i'm well aware that some of them are rather shoddy, but i'm posting them anyway. partly cause i'm too lazy to prescreen, but mostly cause seeing how i tried to take pics of everything and capture every moment reminds me how giddy i was to be there. how elated just to wake up in paris and have a cup of cocoa across the street from notre dame. i was armed with a trusty kodak advantix my first (and for now, still only) time overseas which was sorta nerve-wracking. "what if i don't get a good shot - i won't know 'til it's too late!" so yeah, some of the pics could have been better if i would have immediately seen the results and stepped three feet to the right, but i'm kinda glad that i was forced to take one shot and move on. i don't like to experience in 3 square inches - i prefer it lifesized. especially since then, it doesn't matter if my thumbs are in the way.

i have taken to only watching nbc shows as i can watch them on my 'puter, which works out well as i never set my tv up. my favorite parts of the shows?
heroes - it's so predictable, and still so fulfilling. of course claire falls for the flying man. of course peter makes out with the cute irish lass. i love it.
journeyman - i imagine it's lucius vorenus stuck trying to balance the life of a journalist, family man and "traveler." if only his trust sidekick was with him.
bionic woman - i don't accidentally break the ribs of guys i make out with. i consider that a bonus for everyone.

btw, in the future, when i mention that i'm thinking of changing my hair color, please weigh in with your opinion! remember, it may take a village to raise a child, but it takes a blog community to pick a hair color.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

district of curmudgeons

i really don't like dc. like, not really at all. the whole time i was there i kept thinking, "this would be so much more fun in chicago, or london or nyc, or heck - even in buffalo!" the subways are crap. the people have no personality, the city is sterile and i couldn't find anything remarkable. except for commader keem. it's always fun to party with an old college roomie. especially when you're taking a tour of georgetown u and both of you get mistaken for college kids. that's an ego boost like no other. but, none the less, i'm glad to be home. glad i went too. i clearly needed to vist someplace else since when my plane landed i almost called a duly elected representative of the city of chicago instead of, you know, my friend who lives in the city i was actually visiting. so, there will be pics of dc and tomfoolery, but first you'll have to make do with pics of europe. finally got the film (real film) transferred to cd and on the web. maybe i'll describe the pics in another 5 years.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

happens to the best of us

i think my cat is going through puberty. i base this ridiculous assumption on the fact that her meow just cracked. it was so adorable that it earned her oodles of smooches and a full litter box cleaning - a day ahead of schedule!

Monday, October 01, 2007

priorities, people

i saw michael moore speak saturday night. he was kicking off the distinguished speakers series at UB. and while i am in no position to discuss politics, i will say this: i found mr. moore to very insightful, humorous, impassioned and intelligent. i did not find him to be a raving lunatic, despite what "the buffalo news" had to say about it. and i do feel as though i should become more politically involved. i'm not sure how, but i think i'll start by voting, for a change.

but before i can do that, i really need to figure out what i'm doing with my hair. i know this is going to come as a shock, but i think i'm done with being a redhead. i think it's time to take a cue from the halliwell sisters, and go for the lovely chocolate brown of paige. yeah, i know i don't like chocolate - but it's not like i'm going to eat my hair!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

i have a feeling listening to elliot smith would be a bad idea, too

i rarely get songs stuck in my head, and even more rarely does it bother me. the reason is that i really only get songs that i love in my head and i don't get sick of them. but i have a song i need to remove. i need to get "a little respect" by erasure out of my head, post haste. i've listened to it on repeat, i've watched the "scrubs" episode that centers around it, and still it's in my head. this would be fine, except that i woke up yesterday completely depressed that my boyfriend isn't returning my love - and i don't even have a freaking boyfriend! i am so embarassed that i am this easily influenced by music. i best be careful before i start running around robbing banks all whacked on scooby snacks or shaking my tail feather at inopportune moments.

Friday, September 28, 2007

it's a nice day for a...

fake wedding. the topics always vary wildly at pounding padres. last night was no exception with the topic of "worst first dance songs ever." when i recounted my tale of watching a first dance to "don't wanna miss a thing" the humanist and i decided that the best worst song ever to dance to would be "dream on." so, ladies and gentleman, because of this i now announce our engagement - 10 years from now. we fully plan on holding you hostage for all 5 minutes. and promptly afterwards we'll light a row of shots on fire with the marriage certificate. excited? we are too.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

name calling

one of my friends recently labeled me a "world traveler," which sent all of us into a titter because she was referring to my recent trips to c-go. in her defense, i do believe chi-town once hosted a world's fair. but, to make her at least microscopically more accurate, i'm heading off to DC for columbus day weekend. what better place to celebrate the guy who "found" our land than in our capital!

but, in all seriousness, i'm looking forward to it. i'd never want to live in DC, but it's a great town to visit. and i've never taken pictures of it before, so i'm sure there's soon to be some new stuff on flicka to peruse. and, most importantly, i'm going to get to hang out with the commander! so much fun will be had! and i'm sure i'll eat a ton of sushi, as i apparently do that everytime i travel the world.

and in case you're curious, in the hip hop showdown, my vote's for kanye. show the man some love - he's feeling like katrina without fema!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

i promise this blog will be funny again soon

it has been an interesting weekend, to be sure. for starters, i bought this book, which can only be considered dangerous when in the hands of me. i'll start taking sidekick applications after i master swinging around a flagpole. and then, as if that wasn't awesome enough, i watched "avatar", played BS and then walked home. and i gots to tell you, BS is a dang fun game, mofos. and the walking home, man, i love a good walk when i've been drinking. it really clears the head (to a degree) and makes hitting the proverbial hay that much sweeter.

saturday i did that haunted pub crawl thing in east aurora. i have to tell you, it was interesting, but i would have liked it a lot better if there hadn't been any drinking. there are a lot of people in this world who get real annoying real fast when you add booze to the mix. so, with that being said, i would love to do the allentown walk as it features some of the scariest stories (so i'm told) and no booze. oh, and apparently, if i had decided to live at 49 instead of 91, which was a very real possibility, i'd be sleeping at your house every night. if you're interested in finding out why let me know and we can pick a date! (my vote's for 10/19).

and, perhaps the best part of this weekend, i talked to a whole bunch of friends (some i haven't talked to in some time) and think i've finally started to make some progress with this whole thing called "life." at the very least, when i left my landlord a message about not living here anymore he called back and left a very nice "we can sit down and discuss options - don't worry" message. that alone would have made this weekend rock!

Friday, September 21, 2007

art imitating life imitating art...

i started reading webcomics a bit ago, and have gradually added more to my daily perusal list (except for those that only update on MWF). and every once in a while i will catch myself going, "holy shit - who snuck into my apt, set up a video camera, learned all about me and then turned my life into a webcomic?!" i give you the ones that hit me hardest.

on being an adult
(i wouldn't be surprized if i did this to at least one room...)
on happiness and employment (and look - she has red hair!)
on dating (right on)
on recreation (too bad i suck at photoshop too)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

those lazy days of summer

it's been quite the summer for me. i won't bore you with the details, but it's been full of lots o' change for me. and not just in the quantity (and quality, some would say) of my blogging. i've made new friends, made old ones into better ones and fell in love with a new city (it's the closest thing to paris this side of paris!) it hasn't all been easy (well, the stuff i just mentioned was) and sometimes it was downright scary and hard, but it's all for the best. and for those of you who were bored by the details over and over again, i really appreciate it now just as much as i did then.

but! the biggest change is yet to come. i am finally starting work on my resume. no, really, i am. and i'm hating every second of it, every keystroke it's taking and every bullet i'm creating. but, it has to be done. cause i'm in need of some more change. lately, as in the last couple years, i haven't been feeling very content. which is not to say that i haven't been happy and having fun, cause i clearly have been, but i need to try something new. and i don't mean a restaurant. although that could be fun too. i could live the rest of my life in b-lo and be happy. all my family's here and the majority of my friends are too. i could find another job and go visit all those fun places... but i'd really rather go live in one. there's a whole lotta stuff out there and i want to get to know it better. and to do that, i need a resume. i really wanna pay someone to write it for me but that really wouldn't solve the problem of still having to remember all the crap i've done and then i probably wouldn't like what they wrote, and, well, dammit.

so, yeah, that's what i'm spending my spare time doing when i'm not distracting myself with blogger, flickr, email or webcomics. it's almost keeping me busy enough to forget when "heroes" starts again, but really, to forget that would just be lunacy.

btw, the lincoln park zoo, shedd aquarium and "the book of liz" (featuring the best sound design ev-uhr) are 3 awesome things to do in the windy city. get to it!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

eh, what's that again?

so, i went to chicago, again. and it was awesome, again. i'll be sure to post some pics, but there won't be as many of them seeing as how i did far less touristy things this time around. instead i did the "what would it be like to live here?" thing. so, i did laundry, ate fast food, went to the theatre and the movies and got really sick for a day and a half and prayed for the sweet release of death and then was really happy when my prayers weren't answered. you know, pretty standard weekend fare. what wasn't standard was going to the zoo and an aquarium - which spawned these 3 statements:

"where the hell did that hippo come from? and since when do they have hair on the ends of their tails?!"
"wow, lions roar a lot louder in real life than they do before a paramount movie" (actually, hearing a lion roar in person was one of the most humbling and awesome moments of my life.)
"so, i hope you don't think i'm a bad person, but i always get really hungry for sushi when i go to an aquarium."

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

udderly fun

jessanalia was a huge success. i had nothing to do with it and leave all credit up to the organizer; however, i felt the need to state the obvious. good times were had. don't believe me? check out some of the digital evidence that is now forever available on the interwebs. it's not everyday you get to see outgrabes sucking face with a bovine. and if you can't see it today either, it's cause you need to be my friend on flicka. don't be shy. i'm not going to let just any internet weirdo look at these pics. you have to be an internet weirdo that's also my friend.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

i went to chicago

and it was amazing. i met some awesome people, became a minor celebrity, took a ton of pictures and can't wait to go back. for good.

Monday, August 06, 2007

random, thy name is gabsosteel

i was recently chastised (twice!) for not blogging more. which sorta surprised me, as it always does, when i find out someone reads this. but, in an effort to placate the (smallish) masses i give you the following hodgepodge/ patchwork/ mishmash of random thoughts:
  • i had NO IDEA that when i said "caulk" it sounds like something else. i appreciate this knowledge and will now refer to the stuff that lines my tub as "the stuff that lines my tub."
  • the speed with which i type depends entirely on what song is stuck in my head. if no song is stuck in my head i'm still typing pretty dang fast, but if it's "unchained melody" then people are just going to have to wait for their emails.
  • i think the fact that i still haven't unpacked really speaks to the fact that in some intrinsic way, i fail as a human.
  • the size of the suitcase that i'm taking to chicago is sure to elicit numerous laughs from the person driving me to the airport, who, for the record, is the bestest airport driver person ever. that being said, it's important to remember that i'm not overpacking for the trip, i'm making sure i have enough room to bring back all the shoes and deep dish pizza i could ever want. and let's not forget the importance of presents for others.
  • i don't know what i'm more excited about: saying hi to bob the brontosaurus at the field museum, or stocking up on astronaut ice cream.
  • it concerns me that when text messaging, my phone will assume i'm trying to type "shiv" before "shit." clearly, it's ok to murder as long as you don't utter any expletives while doing it.
    • addendum - i realized on my calendar today that the reminder i wrote for myself was "gat consultants from hotel" - clearly text messaging is what causes the violence - not video games.
  • my hair looks blonder when it's straight. i think that's how my hairdresser placates me around the time when i'm writing a check. it's probably for the best. i'm already sporting an alabaster complexion and blue eyes, if i was really blond people would start thinking i was an albino with contacts. and besides, fall is coming which means it'll be time again soon enough for dark, dark hair.
  • i use the word bajillion roughly a bajillion times a day. and that, my friends, is too much.
  • a doctor asked me today where i got my batman wallet from... cause his kid would love one.
  • more so than the fact that people read this, it shocks me that people look at my flickr page. who are these people with nothing better to do? and why are there so many of them?
    • also, everytime i logon to flickr i say in my head "flicka." i don't know why, i never saw the movie.

Monday, July 30, 2007

i'll link to that!

i need to do more constructive things with my time, and less of what i currently do. at least, i think that's what i should be doing. i thought about getting back into theatre, but then i remembered that i didn't really enjoy it the last time and i like not being a member of this group. i'd go jogging, but my ankle has this horrible habit of disintegrating when i do so (and you thought i was just lazy). i'd go back to school, but well, there's really no buts. that's most likely what i'll end up doing. despite the money and the fact that my family now thinks i have an addiction to learning. at least it's not crack. and really, the jokes on them. like i learned anything in mba school. other than how to do a cost/benefit analysis. and now that you've heard the phrase you know how to do one too. so, until school starts i'm going to do the yoga thing. i like it. lots. i sorta felt all zombieish after, but i'm ok with that. totally worth it. and maybe, just maybe, if i get over my fear of riding bikes on the street with all the cars driven by people that hate the bikes and more importantly hate the people on the bikes, i'll do some of that too.

i went to this party on saturday that was thrown by one of the PhD students at the roz, with every other student in attendance. the best part was when i walked in and everyone turned around with the same look on their faces. the look = "who invited the narc from HR?!" that's almost as ridiculous as accusing this guy of being a narc at a rave. but seriously, do narcs generally show up with grey goose? i think not. at any rate, i met some very fun people (once they stopped staring at me out of the corner of their collective eye) which means i now can do more than smile in the hallways and think "they prefer deluxe car washes to super kisses." i'm so wierd.

i'm also such a jerk. so, i'm going to this comic book convention, right? and i haven't even asked any of you if you want me to take stuff to get signed. you have 8 days to give me your belongings. just be gentle, i'm no sherpa, even if i am human. additionally, as this guy's gonna be there, i really need to update the ol' resume. i'm sure i'm the only person who'll be shoving one in his face. or at least, the only female. definitely the only female who wants to restructure their subscribtion service and has the moxie to tell him so. lord above, does it ever blow.

guess i found my something constructive to do.

Sunday, July 29, 2007


i have a wii. we should play sometime.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

come again?

i just got accepted into grad school... without applying.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Guest Appearance!

The Humanist here...Gabs has graciously turned over control of her precious blog to me. It's actually a reciprocal thing, as she guested on my blog, The Humanist, a few weeks ago. What's that? You'd like to see what she wrote? No's the The Humanist. That's

OK...enough self-promotion of The Humanist. On to the crux of the matter. Is the correct spelling "Gaby" or "Gabby" or "Gabbie" or "Ghaby"? I've just been informed that the correct spelling is with two "B's". So, "Gabybb" it is.

Next....Gaby needs more political posts. She's got a quick mind and a taste for sarcasm...essential to good political blogging.

Lastly....Gaby and I made a pact that we would not write one word on the travails of Lindsey Lohan. I don't think I'll be able to keep up my end of the bargain because Ms. Lohan is endlessly fascinating to me. Give me an alcohol-monitoring bracelet, an expensive sportscar, endless access to cocaine and various other club delights and I'd be in that mugshot too. Oops...I already was.

Thanks for the space Gaby,
The Humanist.

P.S. That's The Humanist. T-H-E H-U-M-A-N-I-S-T.

the two great tastes that taste great together

shakespeare and davy jones!

jousting and plank-walking!

turkey legs and… scurvy?

July 28 & 29th
Pirates Weekend:

Aye Mates! The Sterling Renaissance Festival will again host its Pirates Weekend July 28th & 29th. A bevy of early pirates, including Sir Francis Drake and his raucous crew will invade the festival and swashbuckle their way into the hearts of visitors with rustic sea shanties, tall tales, comedy and high adventure. This special weekend will feature the "Pirate Show", where Pirates devise fiendish punishments for unwary villagers.

Pirate songs and dance will fill the lanes, and beware lest you fall prey to a roving band and end up at the "Pirate Show" to walk the plank! Come dressed in proper seafaring attire and attend a pirate costume contest to be held at the Pubside Stage at 12:15p and "prepare to board!" this exciting Special Weekend, and don't forget your "Aarrrg!"

seriously, how is this the first time i've heard about this?

Monday, July 23, 2007


i can't remember the last time i was this cranky. really, it's pretty bad. but it's my own fault. you know how there are those people in the world whose apparent sole purpose in life is to attempt to make everyone as miserable as they are? i made the terrible mistake of conversing with one of these people saturday night. why? maybe i was cornered or too nice/dumb to walk away. maybe i hoped she'd be decent this time. but no, i was wrong. and it did not go well. i've been pretty sullen ever since and i fear i took it out on someone(s) else, which i'm feeling pretty bad about (i loathe it when others take out their bad days on me, so the thought of doing that to someone else is not a comforting thought to me) and is therefore perpetuating the crankiness.

this is not to say that i didn't have a great time at boozemas. i had loads of fun! but ya know, in case you're wondering why i'm not my usual dynamic and exciting self, that's why. that, and i'm busy being confused by this statement: "i like the beach." i thought i hated the beach! other things that are perplexing to me: viognier. this, my friends, is a white wine that i will choose over reds. i didn't think it was possible. i just don't know who i am anymore. before you know it, i'll be reading books without pictures.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

the j.crew i have accrued*

i just scared myself with the realization that my shirt, jeans, belt, flip flops and jacket are all from j.crew. i wonder how often this happens and i just never noticed before.

*i'd give her credit for saying this, but i'm not allowed to use her name in print anymore.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


i can't believe i'm friends with you and didn't figure out it was you. you're a jerk. let's hang out again soon!

bad idea

if i ever again utter the phrase, "i'm going to answer this call from a private number" stop me. slap me, hit me with a rock, i don't care. there are some creepy mofos in the world and i don't ever wanna talk to any of them again. yech.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

only happy when it rains

i love the rain. i love walking in it, the way the air feels (although not necessarily the way it smells) after a good rain. the way everything's all glistening, but mostly the way it sounds against my windows. the only downside is that listening to rain sorta lulls me into unconciousness so according to the weather guide i'll be blissfully useless until friday.

i don't know about you, but i had no idea i was such a cuddle fiend when drunk until such actions were cataloged and posted on the interwebs for all to see. how embarassing. but maybe it's a good thing - it can serve as a public service announcement to everyone that they run the risk of being hugged repeatedly when hanging out with me. that'll save me from having to individually warn people in my rain-induced coma.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

make like a tree

and branch out. i apparently am now going to keep bottles of grey goose in everyone's freezer and borrow clothing from all of my hosts. funny story about the grey goose - it wouldn't fit on the shelf with all the other vodka, so i had to put it on the top shelf. alright, maybe that's not really a funny story, so much as an amusing antecdote. whatever.

I LOVE MY NEW HAT! love it so much that i'm wearing it right now. i think it'll be my official blogging hat. and of course, it'll come with me to my first ever comic book convention. oh man, i am so going to geek out. but, yeah, about the hat. totally worth the wait and extreme torture of knowing there was a present, but not knowing what it was. so thanks again - it fills my heart with glee!

so, i had a lot of fun last night. only problem is, sushi apparently doesn't count as dinner. also, i forgot i was on antibiotics. oops. but i met a bunch of new people and made friends again with others, ate all the baby carrots in sight and got a new hat. did i mention that yet?

went to the mall today with kim and her sister to watch them get makeovers. and all i have to say is that if you thought kim was cute before, she is totally slamming now. we will seriously never pay for drinks again.

i feel like there was something else i wanted to mention, but you're going to have to wait for me to take a nap, wake up and remember it before i tell you.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

best worst pickup line ever

"you better be careful walking in the rain without an umbrella - you know sugar melts when it gets wet."

it made me chuckle. on the inside. where it counts.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

and a good time was had by all...

"kim, we just reached the point in my ear infection where i've lost my sense of direction, both personally and globally. oh, and everything you say is going to be really funny!"

so, i really suck at being sick. not suck at it like i get all cranky and miserable, but suck at it as in i just become stupid and incapable of thought, which actually makes me a more cheerful and upbeat person than usual. and i promise this is the last time i'll whine about it, but i forgot what it was like. really, i did. these last 4 months i've felt like a functioning member of society. it's been great - not sleeping all the time, not going to bed at 10 PM on a saturday, not not going out at all (i'm a fan of double negatives). and while i knew that the surgery was not going to stop me from ever getting sick again, i was really kinda hoping it would. cause really, one could get used to this crazy thing called "being healthy." although, i did sorta miss the funny faces my doc makes when he looks in my ears ("ugh, stuff that color should never be there!") TMI? too bad.

oh well, at least i managed to procure items making my bathroom the cutest bathroom that ever bathroomed before i cut the evening short...

the week in review

i'm going all non-traditional and making thursday the start of the week. the start of a "oh yeah, i remember when i used to do that!" week.

thursday - i stayed at thursday in the square until the bitter end. except it wasn't bitter - it was fun! i got rained on and got the lead singer to wish a good friend a happy birthday via cell phone. and then there was jaegger!

friday - went on one of the best dates i've been on in years. years i say! :)

saturday - crashed a wedding. actually, i was invited to the wedding by someone who was crashing the wedding already, but, either way, i was not invited and still went. and everyone loved me (or was it the fedora?), naturally.

sunday - i did nothing. it was awesome. i always do nothing on sundays and it's always awesome.

monday - i called in sick, cause i was sick. good reason, right? so i slept for 19 hours (no really, humans are capable of this) and eventually felt better.

tuesday - went to allentown hardware with a verra good friend for a glass of verra good wine. ya know, i don't know why i don't go there more often. i always have a fantastic time and i don't think they have a bad bottle of wine in the place (at least not that they'd ever have the audacity to serve me). so, i'm going to go there more often. hopefully, someone will come with me.

today - no, this is what sick feels like. everything hurts, i took way too many (legal) drugs so coherent thought is nonexistant and i have no desire to partake in the plans for the evening. which is not to say that i'm going to stay home - that would be admitting defeat! but i am taking a nap. and since you stalk my blog more than you check your voicemail - call me and let me know when i should no longer be napping. :)

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

today is brought to you by the letter "argh!"

pirates abounded in my life today. seriously, they were all up in my face and all over the place.

firstly, i have been requested to show the store that sells these to a friend. her baby loved 'em, and now she needs more. and for the record, the one i bought was way better. and by better i mean bigger. and cuter. much cuter.

then i get emailed this. i wasn't aware that pirates often ate half chicken dinners, but i do, so i'm ok with that.

and then i'm perusing my webcomics and see a banner ad for this (sorry, greg)!

ok mr. verbinski, i can take a hint. i will go see your movie. and love the heck out of it, regardless of what the critics say.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

new plan

i've gotta be on plan k by now, but here it is - marry rich. according to msnbc, it's rather easy. hang out in art galleries, buy lots of clothes and get your mba. it's like i was destined to never work again. except for tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that...

Saturday, July 07, 2007

you wouldn't like me when i'm angry

i hate the new girl at work so much. and i rarely hate. oh sure, i joke about it, toss the word around like it's nuttin', but i mean, i seriously loathe this person. she is so idiotic and annoying and worthless as a human being that i actually lay in bed at night thinking about how much i hate her and how much better my life would be if i quit my job and never saw her again. really, i'm bad at hating, mostly cause i'm bad at caring but this girl is just the opposite of everything that's good in the world. ugh.

my main concern with this? the staying awake at night contemplating my hate has led me to sleep less, which has me worried that when i get the call to go crash the wedding i'll be too tired to properly fulfill my role as "best wedding date ever." which just means i'll have one more reason to hate her.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

in case 17 times wasn't enough...

...thanks again for helping me move. and for your willingness to drive the wrong way down a one-way street, even though it turns out that the part of the street i live on really is two-way. and how did i figure that out? with some bastardized scientific method. i waited until the parking switched to the other side of the street and watched to see what the natives did. so, no laws were broken (other than driving backwards on my old street - but really, that's just fun), but your utter disregard for traffic safety in the interest of delivering my belongings to their new resting place goes down as two thumbs-up in my book. rock.

also, i'm so glad my landlady stopped by yesterday and informed me that the blinds to my apt are outside. this is a good thing because 1) i was going to buy blinds tonight and 2) now i won't have to look at my neighbors, unless i want to. which i don't.

lastly, and i can't believe i haven't mentioned this yet - i own a fedora. i purchased it like, an hour before i signed the lease, which i guess overshadowed the whole "fedora-thing." but, yeah, i love it. it makes life better.

Monday, July 02, 2007

moving on up

...and on the eighth day god created the internet, and saw that it was good. and then no one ever did anything productive again. i think in my next life i want to be a cable gal. the cable people alway seem so happy. maybe it's because they know they spend their days bringing joy to those people who would otherwise be forced to do things like unpack or fit all of their clothes in their own closet. it has to be a rather fulfilling job. just like working at disneyworld.

well, i don't really know if this place is a step up. i mean, in some respects the place is much better, but i'm really missing my skylights and ginormous bathroom. i'm missing that place in general, truth be told, but i'm also really glad i don't live there anymore. i realize that sounds incredibly contradictory, but i stand by my statement.

my favorite quote from the whole moving experience?
"so, are we moving the cleaning supplies last?"
"we're not moving them at all - i have issues with cross-contamination"
"what? they're cleaning supplies - they clean"
"look, i am not taking grime from one apt. and putting it in another - that's just sick!"
i really like to throw stuff out. i'm seriously considering ditching a bunch of my furniture. of course, i would feel like a jerk ditching it after someones who are not me carried it here, so nevermind, i'm keeping all of it. and treasuring it always.

also, i'm really enjoying the fact that the combined total of the 37 minutes i spent outside this weekend significantly lightened my hair. take that hairdresser - i'm going to be blond whether you like it or not! even if i have to do it the old-fashioned, sans chemicals, free way!

well, this is strange. i've been craving the internet for the last two days, and now that i have it i sorta wanna go outside. and that's exactly what i'm going to do. especially since my bed is too heavy for me to rearrange my bedroom myself. and yes, i know i've only had it setup for 2 days.

Friday, June 29, 2007

moving is fun!

well, perhaps moving isn't fun, but parts of it can be fun. such as:

"this pile of boxes is all shoes, but not all of my shoes."
"oh, that's cool... wait, the whole pile is all your shoes?!"
"well, not all of them..."

"these boxes are really heavy"
"they're full of clothes"
"they're still heavy"

"remember when you dived in front of a car to save the remote?"
"dude! time warner will charge you $15 if you don't return the remote!"

"can we drink wine on our patio?"
"yeah, sure. all the time."
"i mean, starting now."
"umm, could we just sit on the living room floor instead?"
"good idea. this way i can watch the cops give me a ticket."

"i think our new neighbors have a kid named apache."
"i don't believe you."
"i couldn't make that up - it's too good!"
(one car load later)
"hey, the other kid's named bombay!"
"now you're the one making things up."
"no, really. i wonder if the third's named cactus."

really, it should not be this amusing. but i'm glad it is.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

just in case... were as curious as we were, the bartender's last name is not quinn. ever plan on making it an early night and eric asks if he can come out it's really best to just say "no." oh, sure, he'll probably whine and show up anyways, but at least then you'll have made an effort to avoid the "just one more round" again, and again, and again... were wondering, i'm not always as intelligent as i would like everyone to believe, but this always has entertaining results. allow me to demonstrate the fun by transcribing the following conversation:
e - "next time, we're hanging out in my neighborhood"
g - "you live two blocks from here"
k - "yeah, i had to travel from tonawanda!"
e - "did you take a sherpa?"
k - "yeah, i left it at gabby's with some water and oats"
g - "it's probably eating my shoes as we speak"
k - "you know sherpas are humans, right?"
g - "then why are you giving it oats?!"

...i mention a desire to go back to school, again, remind me of these following things please:
1) i hate going to class and having to study, albeit rare, though it was.
2) no need to break six figures on the student loans.
3) i don't know what state, much less city, i'll be living in next year. sorta hard to pick a school that way.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

random is good

is it any wonder that HEAT and HATE are comprised of the same 4 letters? honestly, i really shouldn't complain. not that that's ever stopped me before...

there are two things that are always going to happen when i try to take a nap. suddenly, my phone will start ringing non-stop. the other is some jackass will start doing yardwork. the "yard" in question today was my own. "yours?" you ask, and rightfully so. i don't have a yard! i wanted to shout out the window - "hey, 3 days before i leave you decide to tackle the vegetation and make this not look like a crackhouse? seriously?!" so, you know, that was cool.

also, if you or anyone you know has a cat that would enjoy a never-been-used scratching post/cubby hole/dangly toy thing, please come and take it. my cat is far too ghetto-fab to play with store bought things. she prefers old socks and shoe boxes.

and on the list of random things to do this week is to go to a kinda sorta not really sure if it is but most likley is job interview with an open bar thursday night. my aunt's taking me to the buffalo spree best of buffalo party (we're vips, natch) and they apparently want to contract me for some events. that's all well and good except for three things:
1. i'm not sure if my new dress is "schmoozing appropriate," but i'm wearing it anyways
2. there's a good chance once they learn that i don't plan all star night that they won't want to talk to me anymore. but really, that's ok - then i'll just hit up the open bar.
3. i have no idea what events buffalo spree does. i know all about shopping sprees, spree candy and i even know that the spree is a river in germany (thanks google!) but i have no idea what the buffalo spree does, other than publish magazines i've never read. care to help me out? there's some cat furniture in it for you if you do...

late breaking news

baby wickham is walking. next stop video games. :)

Monday, June 25, 2007

bad habit

when it comes to the game of "stay home from work," i suck. i've already checked my work email 4 times and spoken to work twice. i'd say i need a hobby, but it'd be more accurate to say i need to spend time with my hobbies.

not that i should be hobbyizing today. i need to be packing. and i am, but it's so boring... it's just that i want to go do fun things outside like walk around the marina instead of sitting on my kitchen floor and figuring out which fake-tupperware containers are missing lids so i can throw them out. and i can't hear rhapsody in my kitchen. you see my dilemma, i'm sure.

but, the sooner i get this done the sooner, i get to go take that walk, right?

Sunday, June 24, 2007

free _allin

due to one incredibly fun-filled night at the wild mushroom approximately 17 bajillion years ago i am incapable of listening to tom petty"s "free fallin" without replacing all the fallins with ballins and substituting my own lyrics. just thought you should know.

btw, does anyone else find that an apostrophe is just not allowed on blogger?

all good things

you know you ate way too many potato chips the night before when you go home, brush your teeth, go to sleep and still wake up the next morning with a mouth that tastes like potato chips. this is disturbing, and strangely delicious.

alright, now that the potato chip issue has been resolved allow me to update you on packing. i'm not doing it. i am throwing stuff out like a mofo, but i have very few things in boxes. however, when i was asked by my family yesterday if i would like blank, where blank is a random object, i did have the mental aptitude to say, "no, if i take it, then i have to move it. this is an entirely unacceptable situation." i may have used those exact words.

my stomach hurts. i'm blaming the potato chips.

so, i had this huge mountain of clothes that i was going to get rid of becuase they didn't fit anymore. this made me sad, because i love my clothes but happy that i wouldn't have to move them. now i'm happy that they fit, but sad that i have to move them. hopefully kim only owns like, 12 articles of clothing so i can use her closet too.

i really need to call my landlord and find out what the "toilet in the dining room" situation is. additionally, now that i have a way to get the couch out of the apt (i'm really hoping you weren't kidding about lowering the couch off the balcony, cause i'm banking on that right now) now i need a way to get it to the new place. so, uh, anyone have a pickup truck or know someone who does? if yes, i will buy you two bottles of your drink of choice as oppossed to the one that everyone else gets (and yes, i know exactly what i'm getting myself into).

my sister's graduation was really nice yesterday, even though my camera kept being a jerk. so i don't really have any pics of my sister "graduating," but i have some good ones of what came after. i'll post them after i've done something that warrants a break.

and i am never eating potato chips again.

Friday, June 22, 2007

two of a kind

my new favorite bartender has the same name as my cat. this is incredibly convenient as now i only need to remember one name to yell when i'm annoyed. no really, it's ok, my cat doesn't mind and the bartender encouraged me to give him a talking to if he didn't serve me fast enough. i think he's responding well to the therapy.

sometime during sample wednesday i also decided that it would be a good idea to not do anything i'm not willing to blog about. that being said, i have nothing to blog about.

Tomorrow is the 3 month anniversary of my surgery. That’s 3 months of not being sick. May seem incredibly small and insignificant a timeframe – but this is the first 3 months in longer than I care to remember that I haven’t called in sick, begged a secretary for a doctor’s appt, taken antibiotics or laid in bed asking “why, god, why?” so yeah, I’m rather stoked about the whole thing. Huzzah for modern medicine!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

for bob

spidey v. batman, round 2

it's the end of the world...

guesstimating is now accepted by MS word as a real word. czech it out.

Monday, June 18, 2007


did you ever meet a person who made you stop and seriously ponder how they've managed to live this long without dying or having their face kicked in or dying because their face was kicked in? well, the queen of them all works in my office. and i dare say, she has won. she broke my spirit, i have no fight left. if you need me, i'll be staring dejectedly at the internets.

taking care of business

i just signed a lease to a place with a back yard.

my summer job just may involve asskicking awesomery

i'ma gonna go celebrate. :)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

take a picture

well, that was actually a lot more fun than i was expecting. i didn't get grilled nearly as extensively as i feared. the conversation pretty much went:
"so where are you going to live?"
"i don't know"
"and where are you going to work after october?"
"i don't know!"
"and are you still going to europe for a mo nth?"
"i don't know!!"
"could you pass the wine?"
"i don't k- oh, yeah, sure - here you go."

at any rate, i will be answering the first question tomorrow and will be signing a lease. either at the awesome place with a back yard, or at the place that i think my former stalker once occupied. if it is that house, it's beautiful. i'd rather stay in allentown, but back yard house has forbidden me to take harlee with me, which i haven't had the heart to break to her yet. we'll see what the stalker house landlord has to say about feline occupants.

oh, i'm also going to have to skip the "house-cooling" party. i know, big surprize there. but, it turns out i can't do it on the 23rd cause my sister's graduation is later than we thought and promptly followed by a 50th birthday party (not for my sister). how much fun could a 50th birthday party be, do you ask? a lot. they have a hot tub and make the best damn martinis you could ever hope to taste. and they have a karaoke machine. but, i promise, promise, promise that i will have a house-warming party and that we can still play beer pong and flip cup in the dining room of whichever new place i choose. actually, we can still do that any night the last week of june at my current place, if you want.

and lastly, i took 113 photos today of the flowers at my parents and aunts house. that's just, a lot. and going to take forev-uhr to upload to flickr. totally worth it, though.

family affair

so, who's ready for a fun-filled, action-packed, family day? normally, i would be all about it, but i have a feeling i'm going to be the center of attention at this one - and family affairs are the one time i'd love to divert the spot light to someone else. maybe my sister got her tattoo and everyone can focus on that instead.

by the by, this is what i was talking about last night. it's even funnier in color. and it's on june 30. and i just added to my closet two more j.crew dresses. soon, the entire collection will be mine...

Saturday, June 16, 2007

strawberry fields.

it's official - i'm no longer a redhead. i'm not exactly a blonde either. i think i'm rocking the best of both worlds.

old apartment

i had my mind completely blown last night. as in, i was actually speechless and incapable of thought. not a common occurence. you think after living with someone you know them, and then you find out they're an adultress. not exactly a cheerful revelation. don't get me wrong, i still love the girl - once you achieve friend status i'm all about giving the unconditional love. but, umm, yeah, still sorta in shock about how people will try to rationalize just about any behavior.

i've also come to the conclusion that i give really crappy advice when i'm drinking. which is a shame, i could've used my A game last night. i'm going to go ahead and not be hard on myself since i'm a tad preoccupied as of late, but still, i would've liked to have been able to do/say more. fortunately, i think i'll have a chance to make it up tonight. this is something worth staying dry for.

Friday, June 15, 2007

talk tonight

i love when the drunk give the drunk advice, and it actually ends up being good. rock on.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

wonder wall

gabby would like all of you to know that when she's laying in bed dying of liver failure, she'll think kindly of all of you who said, "you know, you should be drunk more often - you're more fun that way."

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

like it was meant to be...

"well, we can go shopping and get baby carrots while we discuss apartments"
"wait, how did you know about the baby carrots?!"
"what do you mean, i love baby carrots"
"no, i love baby carrots - i eat them all the time!"
"ohmygod, we will be the best roommates ev-uhr!"

wrong way

did you ever say to yourself, "why couldn't i make the easy decision?" like, hypothetically, why couldn't i just suck it up and move to nyc like i've always wanted and at least then have been happy to find an apt the size of one of my current closets that only costs $600 plus utilities? why? well, for starters, it would've sorta made me a jerk. and for enders, i would have hated myself for being that jerk.

don't get me wrong, i'm entirely happy with the decision i made and would make it again, it's just i hate looking for apts. i hate it more than the actual moving process. it's like looking for a new job, except the deadline has ginormous reprecussions. i hate reprecussions. they're mean.

in other news, i am again gainfully employed. as a secretary. i got my mba, and now i'm a secretary. and not like the one from "secretary," unfortunately. le sigh. technically, i'm an executive assistant and i'll make the same pay for potentially less work/stress, but still, it sorta sucks. better than being unemployed, but not really a "resume builder." i can just imagine explaining this one to people i interview with. "so, what happened here?" "well, i, umm, at the last minute decided to throw my life in a tail spin and spend the next 3 months rinsing out coffee mugs, for the fun of it?" "great, we'll give you a call... later."

oddly enough, i still don't feel stress so much as an overwhelming desire to spend all of my time shopping. this cannot be a good sign.

Monday, June 11, 2007

left to my own devices

i'm forsaking the red. we had a lot of great times together but i've moved on. it's time to try something new. time to throw caution to the wind and jump headlong down the path i've already chosen.

i'm going blond.

drastic, i know. but really, i think it'll be ok. better than ok, even.

additionally, it suddenly dawned on me that the last time i went to a different city was 2 years (YEARS!) ago. that's pathetic, on my part. the thing is, when you date someone long distance you spend all your time off and money visiting them, or being visited by them. so yeah, i've been to nyc a lot, but no where else. i plan on changing that. first things first - toronto on june 30. what better way to say goodbye to my current apt then by being an expatriate for a weekend? a sure to be fantastic weekend.

also on the list:
sterling - greg, we really need to make this happen this year. fo' reals.

sounds of our lives

remember when we were on the porch and all of you demanded new ring tones for when you call my phone? well, i hate the ones you picked. they suck. the thought of you calling me actually fills me with dread. so, effective immediately, you will be returning to the following:
  • male drinking buddies will ring to "tubthumping"
  • bff and vice bff to "girls just wanna have fun"
  • other females to "short skirt, long jacket" (not that any of you dress this way, but feel free to start)
  • i think i'm going to give my sister the "mr. softee" ringtone. she loves ice cream more than anyone else i know.
  • text messages will remain as "sex and the city," regular calls as "batman: the animated series" and lack of caller ID as "the x-files."
so let it be written, so let it be done.

hey man, nice shot

ok, so maybe i was a little harsh with regards to the poor driver man last night, but i can't help it. i've been listening to a lot of angry music lately - which is really the only kind i idenify with as that's what was popular during my formative years. although i always bathed regularly i spent the majority of my youth wrapped in one of my dad's flannels. but never in the summer. i may have been an angry and pissed off teen, but i wasn't stupid. summers were for cute tanktops and houseparties. one had to keep their priorities straight.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

i hate stupid people

myself included. i realize that as of late i've spent approximately 87% of my waking hours trashed, but that notwithstanding, buffalo cab drivers are the worst. if you are a cab driver in buffalo your sole purpose in life is to cart drunk people from point a to point b. of course, on occasion you have to drive the people who can't drive due to their need for crazy mexican eye surgery that doesn't work (i'm fortunate enough to belong to both groups), but that being said, it's always best to assume your fare is trashed and therefore, wisest to not throw your automobile into reverse. cause really, the threat of running over my finely pedicured toes is not doing much for your annual gross income. and yes, i'm aware of the fact that it's not wise to cross behind motor vehicles, but if they are at a complete stop when you start, it should be excused. and so, i'll quote one of my favorite bands, "i really think you'd be better off if you were dead." it's ok, i don't mind the walk.