Sunday, December 31, 2006

it's cause i said no to the cape, isn't it?

not even in the right universe, no less...

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Green Lantern
Iron Man
Wonder Woman
The Flash
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Thursday, December 28, 2006

it's quite possible...

...that listening to regina spektor on repeat was not the smartest thing i ever did. that "fidelity" kilss me every time.

...that answering "turning 27" is the best answer ever to the question of "what're you doing for new year's?" not only is it witty, unique and not able to be used by just anyone, it also hides the fact that i have no idea what i actually am doing.

...that my new suitcase has me almost as excited to travel as i am to arrive at the destination, wherever that may be.

wonderful, wonderful

this really is my favorite time of year. as a wee lass it was all about watching the snow fall from my bedroom window and counting the days until i got to run downstairs at waytooearlyo'clock and open presents, twice! but a steady change has been happening over the last few years. i still love to watch the snow fall, but it's instead from the kitchen or living room. i now open my presents at normalpeopletimeo'clock (much to my mom's chagrin, now that she gets up at 5am) and my favorite part is seeing the looks on other people's faces when they open my gifts. and yeah, i like to open them too. more to see what reminded people of me (pink suede suitcase with black patent leather trim? oh yeah) and to make them smile too. but the most important part is really just spending time with the people you love, and loving the people you can't spend time with. it's about laughing at old jokes and making new memories. teasing your baby sister and realizing she herself has developed quite the rapier wit, all in good fun of course. but really, it's just about getting that warm, fuzzy, "i had a glass of wine feeling," without even having to have a glass of wine, but you do anyways. so, i have to agree, this is the most wonderful time of the year.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

i'm a poet and, well, you know the rest

for you i had to write this ode
because i was feeling like a toad
and you got me out of that mode

i wasn't laughing, i was blue
and it's not a flattering hue
but you stuck with me like glue

you're a great friend, i can't deny
you made me feel better, that's no lie
all it really took was saying, "hi"

so my friend, i say "thank you"
and "i love you too!"
just know i'd always do the same for you

Monday, December 11, 2006

oh, it's out there all right

it's been said that i have a sort of addictive personality. i don't enjoy things, so much as devote all of my spare time to them. lucky for me, i only pick the coolest things to fill my days with.

lately, it's been the x-files. you borrow someone's dvd collection for the better part of a year and eventually the guilt from seeing them on top of your tv every day makes you finally pop them in. and oh my god i love it! i haven't watched an episode since david duchovny left and the T-1000 took his place. but now i'm on season 3 and as a mature adult am fully able to enjoy the brilliance that was chris carter. the scary ones are bloody scary (i still can't watch the ones about lamprey eel man) and the funny ones, well, i don't often laugh out loud at humans on the telly, but i do with these. it's just so damn enjoyable.

and the supporting cast! in the pilot seth green is there! and then in one episode they have both giovanni ribisi (whenever you need a freaky idiot - he's your man) and jack black. and even lil' kaylee from "firefly" is in an episode. i'm sure that finding famous people in small roles happened a lot in other shows from back in the day (ahem, "law & order"), but i didn't watch those shows, so i don't care.

so yeah, i miss the x-files. especially since i'll probably finish season 3 before the weekend. anyone have a copy of season 4 they want to lend me?

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

but i don't have an accent!

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Inland North

You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."

The Midland
The Northeast
The South
North Central
The West
What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

the internet is for...

porn. and apparently, instant messenger is too. so yeah, if you got a message from me this afternoon about some hot chick, i'm really sorry. my computer, much like me, is sometimes prone to contracting viruses. unlike me, it gets over them quickly. so if you didn't like the porn, i'm sorry. and if you did, that's too bad cause i'm nipping this habit in the bud before my computer becomes a perv and grows one of those gay-ass johnny-type staches. not that there's anything wrong with that.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

in summary...

open bars are good. taking full advantage of them at the boss' house, not good (from what i saw anyways).

i have a huge crush on daniel craig. it's not bigger than my crush on christian bale, but if he dies i know who's filling his shoes.

mad world by tears for fears is incredibly depressing; in a thoroughly enjoyable way.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

the date's set

Saturday, February 3, 2007.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

i don't know about you...

but i had a blast last night. it's not often that you get so many truly awesome ladies in one place at the same time, but when you do it is bound to be a lot of fun. although it kinda made me wish that i had more sisters. not that maddie isn't adequate, she's much more so, but if one is great than more must be better, right? and i really can't wait til she's old enough to come out with me. i always have a blast with her and i'd take her out now, but she looks 12. well, there's that, and i would spend the entire night making sure no strangers talked to her. i have a feeling that would quickly grow old for everyone involved.

so, tomorrow, the event i've been waiting months for finally happens. in june, yes june, i placed an order with for several items. tomorrow, a man in brown delivers them. the three items i've been waiting for the most are "batman beyond: season 2", "nightwing: renegade" and "infinite crisis." finally, i'll be able to read the stuff that needs to be read before i can read all the other stuff that i bought. of course, i read the "countdown to infinite crisis" stuff so long ago, i doubt i remember all of it. this wouldn't concern me, except as the recently reported, "area man spent 18 hours on and still doesn't understand the DC universe." poor man. even if i suffer the same fate, at least i can be comforted by a non-mulleted dick grayson. and really, what more can a geeky girl ask for?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Monday, November 13, 2006

hey, thanks for the well wishes re: my dad. he's doing ok and will be fine. besides the obvious bummer where he got hurt in the first place, the other bummer is you can't really sign casts anymore. they have all this gauzey stuff on 'em.

so, i found something scary out yesterday. i can cook. i always had an inkling that i might be able to, but it's true. i can. which sucks, cause now i have no excuse not to. other than the "i'm really lazy" part. but, we might as well put these talents to use. i know haley's been talking this idea up for at least 498 millenia, but let's start having swank dinner parties. heck, i'll even throw the first one. that way, i won't have any exceptionally high standards to live up to. :)

speaking of things i want to do, i want to go to the buffalo museum of science, the albright-knox (before everything i learn in college atrophies) and go dancing. who wants to be my new favorite person and go do these things? oh, and i also want to host "lost" viewing nights. alanna, i'm putting you in charge of obtaining the dvds. harley, you're in charge of not pulling out your life-like mouse toys at inopportune moments and scaring me in front of guests.

in the next month i have a whole ton of comics coming in. and season two of "batman beyond." please, remind me that it's healthy to go outside and interact with people once in a while. and that bringing the comics with me doesn't count.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

family disFUNction

ah, my family. we're nothing if not mad-cap and zany. or at the very least, frigging odd.

the story begins with a young lass sitting in a class room waiting for the prof to arrive. she checks her cell, weary with ennui, hoping that someone has offered a distraction. "ah," she smiles to herself, "my dear ol' dad has called, and as it's not bio-dad, that's pretty rad."

so, off she traipsed to the common area to return the call and learn what so important that daddums had to use his cell and couldn't wait for the lil' pain in the ass to get off the computer.

"hey dad, what's up?
"nothing, what're you doing?"
"waiting for class to start, you?"
"oh, just laying on the couch. wanna talk to your mom?"
"sure, if that's who called. i didn't check the voicemail"
"oh, ok. jackie - it's gab. she doesn't know"
"hey, honey, how are you?"
"fine, what's going on?"
"well, your dad had an accident"
"a what?"
"an accident. he cut his hand with a chainsaw"
"with a WHAT?!"

at this moment our dear, fair maiden nearly shat herself.

"a chainsaw. he's ok though"
"explain 'he's ok'"
"well, he had the surgery to reattach the tendons today"
"reatt - nevermind. and?"
"and there's about 20 stitches"
"and when he gets the cast off he'll need physical therapy"
"my dad's in a cast?! jesus fucking christ. did it at least happen at work?"
"yeah, he's on comp now"

our heroine is nothing if not pragmatic.

"well, i'm glad he's ok"
"yeah, so, how are you? give me some good news"
"well, umm, let's see. i don't really have any - i mean i'm ok... i haven't played with a chainsaw, in like, ever"
"that's good! definitely for the best"

additional pleasantries were of course exchanged with the matriarch, but the time soon came when all ladies were required to return to the class room. while the prof was most entertaining, thoughts of things other than law tended to pervade our student's thoughts. i dare say it would be quite safe to bet that a certain southern belle will be heading home to her family's ancestral home to survey the damage herself.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

it's a numbers game

the official count is 55. i don't know where i got 65 from - i must've been including fallen comrades.

i just finished my 3rd episode of "firefly." i desperately want to stay up all night and watch the next 17.

i slept 22 hours this weekend and i'm still exhausted. either i have a horrible disease, a strong love of sleep or i'm just really lazy. my money's on choice 2.

so, i just got my gas bill and it's way lower than it used to be. hurray for new furnaces and 90% heat efficiency! (i made that percentage up.)

Saturday, November 04, 2006

sunday bloody sunday

my plan for today was to get up early and go into work and do some web design and look through the pile of stuff inevitably sitting on my desk after being out of the office for 2 days. clearly, that is not what happened. yeah, i have a headache and i couldn't drag my sorry ass out of the house, but that's not entirely it. i really truly want to do the stuff this weekend. i just want to do it from the comfort of my own home. seriously. if i was doing roz work at my house i wouldn't even consider it work. nor would i put in for overtime. if i'm wearing my jammies it's not work. i don't think i would ever be given access to the network from home, but i might still ask. roswell - think of the savings! no more paying me time and a half! no more yelling at me for walking home after it's dark! no more me tripping the alarm because i forget that i need to be buzzed out after 6! and then there's the free time i'll have at work. time to do my filing, truly supervise my subordinates, and, oh yeah, maybe spend some time training with annie so the poor woman can retire.

but for now, i'm going to put some plastic on my windows, maybe do some cleaning, and definitely take a nap. one must be well rested when hard-coding websites.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

this was going to be

a cute post about how i have really wierd dreams when i go to sleep drunk (diet pepsi in the fridge and trying to balance Little Theatre's budget?) and how harley went upstairs for the first time today and freaked out (clearly due to the little girl ghost in the white pinafore) and boy howdy isn't that funny?

but instead, i was getting ready to go to a family dinner and wait downstairs for my ride (us passengers in life have to be considerate) and i unlocked the upstairs door and started to walk downstairs when i noticed the outside door swaying in the wind and yesterday's mail blowing in the breeze. at which point my shit freaked out. nothing happened to me and all of my stuff is still here, but for all i know someone walked upstairs, looked through the dor window, decided all my stuff is crap and wasn't worth picking a lock. or someone tried on my shoes. or, and this is the option i prefer, any good karma i may have had was cashed in to make sure that humanity was kind for an evening.

at any rate, i am definitely embarassed that i was too drunk to remember to lock my own door. and i share this embarassment so that i'll constantly be reminded to not be an ass-hat. you don't have to say anything, just knowing that you know is a reminder enough.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

how the mighty have fallen

when i worked for juno and helped people fix their internet connections i used to make a game out of finding ways around client logic's firewalls to use AIM. each time they changed their protocols (am i even using the right jargon anymore?!) all of us would make a game of out seeing who could find a new way through fastest. while i never won, i never lost either.

and now i can't even get hotmail on my work computer. it's just, embarassing. i used to actually know computer stuff - for real! and now all i know how to do is unplug a cable modem and hope that reboots it. i feel so efemulated.

Monday, October 23, 2006

how sweet it is...

there are few things in life as sweet as being the recipient of unconditional love. i'm not huge into the whole having a pet thing, but being the center of a fuzz-ball's world can really change that. here's a darling little squishy whose favorite part of the day is any part where she can curl up on/near/behind me. her every purr and mew says "thanks for giving me the chance to show that i'm worth the trouble of taking me home and not letting me get shot full of deadly drugs! you're the best!" and so, you feel like the goddess your cat thinks you are. for yes, you did save a life and you are the center of the universe. and then, one day, you'll be hurrying through your dining room, in too much of a hurry to look where you're going, and you'll feel your foot trip on something, hard. the first thought is, damn, my toes should really be aching, good thing i kicked something soft and squishy. the next, immediate thought is, i just kicked a kitten! i am the WORST PERSON EVER! and to think, some people wonder why i'm afraid to procreate.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

monday, i'm gonna hate you

i really don't like mondays. they just annoy me. honestly, i think they would annoy me less if i wasn't forced to reminise about the weekend when i get to work. it was wonderful while it lasted, but now it's done, so please, let's just move on.

my computer was doing this wierd thing were every time i pressed ' it brought up the find window. i've never had that happen before. but now that it's stopped, i just went back and put all the apostrophes in. it's bad enough that i can't spell, i can't have bad punctuation too.

"the prestige" was a fantastic movie and i need to watch it again. while it was nothing like i expected it still far surpassed my expectations. rarely does a movie have ellicit such a strong reaction from me that i feel like i'm going to vomit and am silent for the whole movie. i didn't even once comment on the super-duper awesomeness of hugh and chistian in one movie! clearly, this ws a movie that didn't mess around.

questionable content
is my new favorite webcomic. it, like the only other webcomic i read, also features indie boys and robots. you find something you like, just stick with it.

and finally, i have a kitty. her name is harlequin and i love her. you may call her harley and come over and pet her soft furry belly and listen to her purrs. her favorite things are getting pettings, watching batman cartoons (especially the ones featuring a certain clown) and blogging. the piitter patter of typing is like human purring. i really need to borrow a digital camera so i can share with the world the cuteness that is the tiny fuzz-ball harley. sometimes when she meows she sounds like a goat. unfortunately, she lived a tough life early on. she was homeless, hungry, fell in with the wrong crowd and had kittens when she was merely 6 months old. but it's ok, she was young and she needed the money and she's well on her way to reform. so this weekend, i'm going to the pet store to get her a pretty patent leather red collar. it'll fit her other nickname, which is harlot. i think she'll like it.

satruday night's alright...

i think we should go to prespa more often. which is not to say that i want to hear about any more stranger's sextrastrophes, regardless of how innocent they are.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


i keep getting these stabbing pains in my palms. i hope it's not the stigmata.

Monday, October 16, 2006


i just had to login again to share this important news - my strategy professor is not a total jerk. our midterm is postponed so that people can get their lives back in order and houses cleaned up. well, my life may have been undisrupted and i don't own a house - but i'm still happy to take advantage of this. WOO HOO!

a tale of two cities

the trip to NYC was wonderful. saw some beautiful foliage and got there relatively unscathed. i say relatively cause i'm still not sure my heart will ever be the same after getting hit by a box at a combined speed of 150 mph. you know you're scared witless when it takes a full 3 seconds to squeak out a "what was that?" props to alex for being a champ the whole way round. he put up with 2 girls, crazy new yorker drivers and didn't threaten to drive us into a pylon once. oh, and he drove the whole way, both ways. that's totally cool too.

NYC itself is a great town. i always enjoy my time there. i walk faster, talk grittier, and become cooler. at least, i like to think i do. and i bought super awesome greenich-village sneaks. and we super awesome comedy shows after super awesome mexican. thoroughly enjoyable.

so that was last weekend. this weekend we were in buffalo, cause ya know, we live here and stuff. oh buffalo, someday you'll make the news for something other than snow and sports teams that can't quite ever win the championship. but for now, we're known for the fact that when 164530 gallons of slush fall out of the sky, our trees crumble. i really feel bad for the trees. i actually get a lump in my throat when i see them, all broken and crumbly. and of course, i feel bad for all of the people without heat and power. but i have to say this about buffalo, when the tree chips fall, the people come together. there are stories everywhere of people sharing generators, helping neighbors dig themselves out, and just generally being nice. fools - why are you shoveling when it all just melted anyway?! just kidding - it's really nice to see so many people come together. it sorta makes you feel like there might be hope for the human race yet.

and i'm also really digging this having roommates thing. it's pretty cool - sorta like college but with less hangovers and better food. the pizza and wings are definitely of a higher quality now than they were then. and while i will admit at first that i was worried about having people find out about my idiosyncracies, that lasted all of about 5 seconds. i quickly remembered that i tell people all about how wierd i am every thursday, so really, if anyone was going to be scared it should have been them, not me. especially since i may inflict a rousing game of scene it on them tonight. even if they have their own power.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

more of the same

  • we are going to have so much fun this weekend. i'm really glad we're arriving at night because the skyline is just breathtaking that way.
    • at least, that's how i felt 8 years ago. now i just fly - no skyline that way.
      • holy heck - can you believe it's been 8 years since i rode in a van with andrea and anne and a cage full of mice and stopped in albany to visit scott swedish who anne was making it with and then later went on to trade up and date jenn keem and then first met johnny's nyc family and friends and coined the phrase "up against a wall?" wow, i think i might like this road trip a lot more. or at the very least, the stories might be more "family friendly."
  • people who kick the back of my chair make me murderously mad. to the point where i start to fantasize about garroting them.
  • according to coworker bill, i would make a good assasin. coincidence?
  • so i'm kinda bummed cause i took my comforter out on sunday - i haven't seen it since it was cleaned in the spring - and it has ink spots on it. now, i love my dry cleaners - nothing like this has ever happened before. so i think next time i'm in to drop something off i'll mention it and see what they suggest. i can't prove they did it, but regardless, i'm assuming they'll offer to clean it again for free. which is cool - but i'm using it now.
  • jumbo pretzels and fruit smoothies make excellent dinners
  • it's stupid to teach a class on how to strategize like a CEO. i'm not a CEO. if i was a CEO, i wouldn't be in MBA school. if i started acting like a CEO, my ass would be out on the mud/we're-suppossed-to-pretend-it's-grass; that's not what i'm there for. therefore, i don't stay for the whole class.
  • achtung baby is the best u2 album ever. and i don't hate it - i just don't relate to it like i used to. but it's still good and i still like it. so can we please go back to being friends now?
  • i really hope someone is eating the leftover soda bread. or building a fort with it.
    • maybe i'll make some more and take it to work next week. it's really fun to make.
      • it reminds me of making hamburgers with play-doh.
        • really big hamburgers.

Monday, October 02, 2006

just the facts

  • show B is funny
  • so is this. they should do one of these for Batman, but really, that's every issue anyway.
  • everyone loves marineland. but no one likes little sisters who still haven't sent over the pictures (i'll tell you all about the racist goats and cute belugas once i have visual aids)
  • switching johnny's ringtone to mr. softie is one of the best decisions i ever made
  • i thought i had my playlist for "party like it's 1999" done, and then i saw a commercial for this, and i realize i'm nowhere near ready. it takes much more than a keg and some plastic cups people.
  • while i'm being dorky, it's also a fact that i really want this
  • i already have most of those songs on rhapsody. they go surprizingly well with the killers and nin
    • you can't do a backwards "n" on blogger
      • i don't really know how to do one with a computer anywhere
  • i use the word "this" way too much
  • there are a bunch of movies out about magic and witchy stuff and i want to see all of them
    • right now
  • i could also really go for some sushi
  • why couldn't they take the picture last night?

Saturday, September 30, 2006

top 10

this just in - UB's business school is #10 in the regional school ranking, according to WSJ. while i'm sure that means we're not even in the same category as harvard or yale, i still feel like i should be doing my homework.

Monday, September 25, 2006

oh my god i love rhapsody and i can't believe i waited this long to play with it

as requested...

my favorite song lyric is...
"love is a temple
love a higher law
you ask me to enter
but then you make me crawl"

followed closely by...
"did i ask too much?
more than a lot?
you gave me nothing
now it's all i got"

yeah, they're from the same song. the anthem for all teenagers who feel the sting of unrequited love. or maybe that was a hamburg thing. either way, i'm surprized this cd is still working. i still appreciate the artistry, even if they don't really apply anymore. but i should listen to my other favorite lyricist and just get angry and get some cleaning done. angry music is good ol' productive music, even if it isn't prodigy.

you know what, this cd is kinda boring. but i still like the lyrics. for once, i'm gonna throw rhapsody on and see if i can find something fun.

at any rate, alanna, i just beat you to the punch in your own fight. i told you mine, now tell me yours. :)

Friday, September 08, 2006

Understand this fact...

This is hilarious. Biggie Small is a genius - especially when translated into "whitey." Yes, yes, it starts off rather crude at first but stay strong, it's worth it. If you remain unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy.


First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys

Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money

Those the ones I like ‘cause they don’t get nathan’

But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation

Garbage, I turn like doorknobs

Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever

However, I stay coochied down to the socks

Rings and watch filled with rocks


As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and prostitutes. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry.


And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi

Girls pee pee when they see me, Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee

As I lay down laws like I lay carpet

Stop it - if you think your gonna make a profit


I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently, women enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused when they see me driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American reservations, some of the more sexually promiscuous Indian women attempt to seduce me in their homes. Their intent is to divest me of my earnings. Such actions are unacceptable.


Don’t see my ones, don’t see my guns - get it

Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it

In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia

I don’t know what the hell’s stoppin’ ya

I’m clockin’ ya - Versace shades watchin’ ya

Once ya grin, I’m in game, begin


Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my weapons. I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in violent sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates, the Junior Mafia. I’m having some difficulty understanding why you refuse to approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact with you through my expensive glasses, and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will approach you.


First I talk about how I dress and this

And diamond necklaces - stretch Lexuses

The sex is just immaculate from the back I get

Deeper and deeper - help ya reach the

Climax that your man can’t make

Call and tell him you’ll be home real late

Let’s sing the break


I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe and jewelry, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars. This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse with me. I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter you from behind. Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I understand this to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He needn’t be concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and inform him that you won’t be home for a while. By the way, please sing the chorus of the song for me also.


She’s sick of that song on how it’s so long

Thought he worked his until I handled my biz

There I is - major pain like Damon Wayans

Low down dirty even like his brother Keenan

Schemin’ - don’t bring your girl ‘round me

True player for real, ask Puff Daddy


Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your fabrications about the length of your member. After I had sexual intercourse with your woman, she became enlightened as to the proper way it is supposed to be performed; violently and immorally. It would be in your best interest to keep your woman away from me as my sexual prowess is very strong. If you are unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy.


You - ringin’ bells with bags from Chanel

Baby Benz, traded in your Hyundai Excel

Fully equipped, CD changer with the cell

She beeped me, meet me at twelve


Despite the fact that you attempted to win her at her doorstep with bags full of expensive clothes and a car (the lower end model Mercedes Benz which you financed by signing over your current vehicle) containing an expensive stereo and a cellular phone, your woman has contacted me through my pager indicating that we should rendezvous at midnight.


Where you at? Flippin’ jobs, playin’ car notes?

While I’m swimmin’ in ya women like the breast stroke

Right stroke, left stroke what’s the best stroke

Death stroke - tongue all down her throat

Nuthin’ left to do but send her home to you

I’m through - can ya sing the song for me, boo?


You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able to maintain payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your woman. Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse and commit lewd osculatory acts with your women. My only remaining option is to request that she leave my home and return to you because I have reached orgasm and no longer have a need for her presence.


So, what’s it gonna be? Him or me?

We can cruise the world with pearls

Gator boots for girls

The envy of all women, crushed linen

Cartier wrist-wear with diamonds in ‘em

The finest women I love with a passion

Ya man’s a wimp, I give that ass a good thrashin’


The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose as your sexual partner. I can take you on cruises around the world. I will dress you in the finest jewelry and footwear. You will be envied by women worldwide in your fine clothes and jewelry. There is a special place in my heart for beautiful women. I will defeat your man in an altercation because he is effeminate.


High fashion - flyin’ into all states.

Sexin’ me while your man masturbates.

Isn’t this great? Your flight leaves at eight.

Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds.

Lyrically I’m supposed to represent.

I’m not only the client, I’m the player president


You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of Paris. I will fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and jewelry. You will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man will be forced to pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What a life! I’ll return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o’clock flight. The timing is perfect because I have scheduled a date with a second woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o’clock. I’ll seduce her in the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive reflection of my home town. Not only am I a sexually deviant, misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the board of directors of the organization that governs others of my kind.

proof i need a digital camera

i took this picture at the erie county fair. i now see it everytime a livingston calls me.

this is the amount of mail i came home to after being in NYC for 4 mail delivery days. you may say i spend too much time shopping on eBay - i say Christmas should be every day.

on my way home from work today i saw this. is it a geo tracker? is it a lawn mower? it's GENIUS!

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Growing up is hard to do

i've been doing a lot of thinking about getting older. and i don't mean older as in 30s and 40s, although i think about that too - but older. this year for the day of caring, we were at a nursing home and our job was to visit with residents and assist with an ice cream social. i spent the entire day wanting to cry. confined to wheelchairs, children rarely visit, minds disappearing... i don't want to live like that. but then i read articles like this and suddenly aging sounds pretty cool. i'm lucky that 6 out of my 7 grandparents (divorces and remarriages do wonders to increase the ranks) are still incredibly healthy and active - most likely more so than me, though that's not saying much. so i hope i will lead the fun life that my grandparents do, and not the "keep your chin" up life of my friend june.

on an entirely different note, looking at pictures of maeve and natalie make me want to go make one of my own. i told you long distance relationships have their upsides. in all seriousness, the garvs and the wicks occupy realms of readiness that johnny and i often feel as though we'll never occupy. but who knows - you can't predict the future. unless it's to say that the baby's room would be decorated in a green/underwater theme. but really, that's a given.

i got this "bad girl" calendar for my birthday last year and i wish i read it daily, instead of 2 weeks at a time - cause the day's entry would have made a lovely insert in the berfday card for jess, who shares a birthday with dorothy parker. the poem is as follows. ahem...

"i like to have a martini
two at the very most
after three i'm under the table
after four i'm under my host"

if that doesn't make a girl want to drink martinis, i don't know what will. oh wait, yeah i do. it's tipsy olives and a martini set. duh.

by the way did anyone notice that her birthday was on 2sday the 22nd? and did that make anyone else think of harvey dent? no, well, i'm using it as a segue to discuss "the dark knight," which i know all of you have been dying to hear my thoughts on. i'm nervous. oddly enough, less nervous about heath ledger and ryan phillippe than i am about news that katie holmes will again be in the movie - this time with a bigger role! what's up with that? the same chick is never in a batman movie twice. and she sucked. ah well, they could always have justin timberlake play dr. fries/mr. freeze and then cameron diaz can make an appaerance as mrs. snow globe.

Friday, August 25, 2006

check us out

and i think i know why this is. it's all the overachieving pmbas who have to write papers on friday nights and instead find links like this.

Saturday, August 12, 2006


i just got back from a 90 minute pedicure. if that isn't enough to make all right with the world, i don't know what is. and there are huge garage sales all over allentown, so i can shop, while still enjoying the beautiful weather. all is right with the world, indeed.

Friday, August 11, 2006

a simile is like a metaphor w/o the analogy

or is it the other way around?

i have to tell you - this long distance thing sucks. i'm not whining, it's just that well, it sucks. i'm lonely and i hate being in my apt. lately. the really sucky thing is that i'm the kind of lonely where sometimes being with people makes me even lonlier. wierd, right? it's not the worst thing ever, it's not impossible, it'll be fine. it's just kinda like stubbing your toe when you should be dancing.

for some reason, on my way home, i decided that getting promoted to the really good jobs is like getting to be queen. there's a lot of people who have to die before you get to. or, you can switch countranies and move up the ranks over there. or, you could sleep around til you find someone who just gives you what you want with no real title. i don't know if any of this is actually true, but it amused me.

i also heard two excellent pick up lines on the way home. "hey, white girl!" and "baby, if you were helping me sell pillows i'd sell a thousand a day." maybe next time gents, maybe next time.

Monday, August 07, 2006

hooray for weekends!

well, i don't know about you, but i had a lovely weekend. it all started with the dictionary game on friday - and i'd like to give a hearty thanks to peter for setting it up. i had fun, once i got over my fear of wine. and i learned some new words and some new definitions of old words.

i watched my dad (cool dad, not bio-dad) build a pond in 6 hours, possibly less. well, i helped. i mean, someone has to sit in a chair and fetch beer. seriously though, my dad is a true nature artiste. really, truly, he rocks. and i made a little turtle looking doodad out of rocks, so i guess i rock too.

on sunday i went to the eden corn festival and played hick. my mom said that there was no way anyone would ever mistake me for a hick, to which i replied, "aw mom, you always see the sweetest things. now enough talking - let's go git us some kern!" mmm, i tell you, there is nothing like eden corn festival corn. it's just so buttery and yummy and freakin' good. and the complete lack of hicks had my mildly disappointed. ah well, there's always the erie county fair for that.

not to make you think that my weekend was all bliss, i got somewhat burned. no big deal you say, it is. i was wearing SPF 50! do you know how much of a freak of nature that makes me?! seriously though, i had a great time during my foray outside of city limits, and i'm really looking forward to doing it next sunday too. btw, maddie's a go for the ren fair.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

i feel like blogging

but have nothing to blog about. work is, well, work and all of you who read this already know about my personal life, or will shortly find out when we go to 44. so, i'll fall back on an old favorite. art history. and you thought i was going to say batman. he comes later.

no really, art history. i love old art and i love learning about and talking about and trying to explain to people why it is so beautiful and moving. to my credit, i've once spent hours explaining this to someone. to his credit, he was only trying to sleep with me. to both our credits it worked. it's ok johnny, i'm talking about you. to me, art is like real life, only better. and i'm not talking about any of that modern crap - that stuff sucks and i will debate for hours on how that's not really art. or i could debate on how it technically is, but the point is - when you look at something and it actually causes emotions other than boredom, that means something. that's an accomplishment. for both you and the artist. not everyone is capable of seeing beauty. it's sad, but true. actually, it's not really sad, it's more of just a fact of life. but the reason it's like real life is that it just cuts through all the crap and gets right to the core. if the artist wants to show you how incredibly passionate and all-encompassing love can be, it can be done with the simple way the light touches a woman's neck. and despair - look no farther than the cracked cobblestone. and drama? well, look no further than my favorite technique - chiaroscuro. that's italian, yo.

and so, i think that's why i love comic books so much. not only do the artist's use chiaroscuro all over the place, but they make me laugh and cry. ok, it's really more smirking and saying "oh, no!" but you get the point. and they cost a hell of a lot less than a caravaggio.

speaking of comics, my original intent was to keep an updated list of the library up here. truth is, the list has gotten far too embarassingly large to post. if you want to read something, ask and i'll let you know if i have it. or, which is far easier, come over, wash your hands, and peruse the shelves. that's right, i said shelves.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

score 2 for allentown

so johnny just called, "how'd you fare in the black out?" "what blackout?" "the one that alex and jess just had." "ha, didn't happen here - score one for allentown!"

and we have sweet tooth now and you don't. so now we're only down 465389712 for the win.

restoring my reason to live

ok, there really is no reason to get that dramatic but when johnny called me, and everyone else on the planet emailed me, to state that it was official that heath ledger would be playing the joker in "the dark knight," i started to cry. on the inside - where it counts. not really, but it was close. then johnny, who started my whole fall into despair gave me some uplifting news. apparently, in "the brothers grimm" he plays criminally insane and whacko very well. so well that johnny said, "he can do it gabby, he'll be a good joker, i swear." well, good. of course, now i have to go see that movie. either way, i heart christian bale.

besides the multiple communications surrounding archnemesis-es, three people who i was thinking about emailing today beat me to it. it was awesome. i am the most popular person ever. for today. hooray!

Monday, July 31, 2006

it's so hot out...

  1. i can't eat before 9
  2. i should just eat at 6 cause it's still hot at 10
  3. i want to shave my head to release the heat
  4. i'm considering putting my computer and fridge in the bedroom, aka - the only room with a/c
  5. i leave the a/c on when i leave the bedroom in the hopes that when i return to the bedroom it will finally be not-hot
  6. talking about the weather isn't small talk, it's the ONLY talk
  7. i love going to work and having to turn the heater on under my desk it's so cold in my cube
  8. i want to stay at work until 9 so i don't have to walk home in the heat, but then i refer to number 2
  9. my fridge is sweating and oppossed to feeling grossed out or worried by that, i just think, "dude, i so know how you're feeling right now"
  10. it's too hot to do pilates is not just an excuse, it's really true

please tell me it's not me...

i've recently developed a phobia. i'll call it stinkymephobia because i'm constantly terrified that i smell bad. logically, i know that i can't smell that bad. if i did, one of my friends would have told me by now, right? or at least stopped calling. right?! none the less, i had a dream the other night where i was at haley's house helping her paint and she told me i smelled bad. and i said, "well, i've been outside painting all day..." "i meant when you first got here." "oh." now, i don't think haley would ever be that blunt and my dreams have been kinda whack lately (i was dress shopping with amy augustine - remember her? - in a dream the night before), but really, i need to get over this. that, or buy some stock in secret.

also, i had jury duty today. it lasted for 1 hour and 43 minutes. truth be told, i feel kinda jipped. i never even got to tell a proposterous story to a lawyer to get out of it. the defendant settled and all of us got to leave. and while i was treated to a very productive day at work, i somehow feel like i got scammed and scammed the city in the process. ah well. we'll see what happens in 8 years...

Sunday, July 30, 2006

so, "lady in the water," is really, really good. really. maybe the reason it's so good is that it makes you feel like a little kid again. all those times when you thought that something incredibly magical was happening to you, it really was. when i was a little kid i used to play in the forest behind my grandparents' house and one time i could have sworn i was being teased by a wood nymph. they giggle, just like the wind but not quite - cause the wind does not blow in just one tiny spot. they look like the shadow of a tree, only more like a tree and less like a shadow, and they move really fast. and the cool thing, my mom totally believed me. she said i was a very lucky girl because not everyone gets to see them. i didn't even totally believe it myself at the time, but after seeing "lady in the water," i totally do.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

this is hard work

we all know i have a problem. and like most problems, it's expensive. especially when you don't know what you're getting yourself in to.

it all started when i was a little girl. i learned about batman. i'm not sure how i learned about him, but i did. and i LOVED him. still do. and then i found out about comic books and always wanted them - boys said they had so much fun getting them! - but i didn't know. but lo and behold, there's a comic book shop in hamburg! so my parents took me one day and i went in and had one of the most scarring experiences of my young life. the huge, mean man asked me which batman comic i wanted. there's more than one? yeah - come back when you know what you want. the subtext was, i hate girls. i was sure of it. for christmas that year my parents got me a subscription to batman comics, but it just wasn't the same. i was heartbroken. so while i still loved my dark knight, i survived on movies and animated series, and it kept me going for many years. and when i was 16 my parents bought me nothing but batman toys for christmas - that seriously rocked.

and then, i discovered and TPBS & graphic novels. and credit cards. well, really, i knew about credit cards a long time ago, but you know what i mean. and you know what, this is a freakin' complicated hobby! you would think would list all of their TPBs on their site, but they don't. and jesus christ, DC is apparently incapable of having a story arc without having it crossover between at least 3 different series. so you buy the TPB, and it's all good, right? NO! you can't survive on TPBs alone, because then when you try to pick up the next story arc there will be things you missed because they didn't make it into a TPB and you're lost. it sucks. so buy just all back issues you say, yeah, good freaking luck. and this infinite crisis thing is gonna kill me. like, what is it all about and why do i have to wait until 9/20 to buy it? and why does batman alone have 3 different story lines and which one is which and how the heck do they fit chronologically?!?!


i'm a sane and rational person. all i really want is the whole story. and for nightwing and oracle to get back together. is that truly so much? it's just, ebay is expensive, the comic shop next door closed officially today and i'm scared that the one on elmwood is home to another mean, huge man. "come back when you know what you want, girl."

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

work humor

boss: so, what should i tell acctg. so they get off our backs?
me: tell them... if there was a problem - snicker
boss: what? yo, you solved it?

Saturday, July 15, 2006

vacation montage

7/10 - i went to work. clearly, i need a lesson on how vacation works. and i got one, when johnny and i went to cozumel and got ripped on margaritas. i was a wuss to get ripped on only a regular 16 oz one, but i would never attempt to drink the 46 oz johnny did. mega is right...

7/11 - darth died. for those of you who somehow have missed this aspect of my life - i had a giant black angel fish i named darth. he used to have a twin named anakin until he ate him and everything else in the tank. i had him for five years. for one of those years he lived in a bucket in the kitchen sink after the tank broke. he survived a lobster, ick (the disease, not a comment on the lobster) and the cat. i tried to give him a "burial at sea," but alas, his body was too might to fit through the passage way to fishy heaven. so instead i tossed him in the kitchen garbage can and asked johnny to take it out. and then we went and bought more fishies and they're cute and none of them have eaten each other yet. bonus. this day also featured drinking at 1pm and going to see yo la tengo, but that's best summed up here. i keep waiting for the shrimp we bought to clean their eyeballs.

7/12 - i went to the salon and then kicked ass at kickboxing. i got to show off my moves on...

7/13 - perhaps, one of the most fun days. and by days i mean nights. went to 44, and then two lovely ladies and myself tried to find roxy's, but instead got lost, broke a flip-flop, fixed said flip-flop, drunk dialed a husband, and showed up just in time to determine that it is of the utmost necessity that we wear fedoras and become burlesque dancers. but i already knew that. and then, the unthinkable happened. we went to chippewa. we ran into chad (shaun-lite) and i asked him if he was scared of us. he said, "no, i'm one of the most confident people you'll ever meet." eww. and then jess said, and i kid you not, "you're a shitty waitress." did you get that? not wait-er, wait-ress. oh god, hilarity ensued.

7/14 - happy birthday greg and happy independence your crazy, blood thirsty, frogs. i went to babies r us to buy baby shower presents and decided that i can never have kids. i'd spend too much money on crib bedding sets. oh, and "40 year old virgin" is actually a very funny movie.

7/15 - i just tried to go to the comic book store around the corner from me to sell some truly terrible graphic novels. turns out, i hate elseworlds. at least the ones i currently own. and i was thwarted in my attempts, so i put the following letter in their mailbox.

Dear Sir(s),

Today, I attempted to visit your comic book store, and was unsuccessful for the fourth time in a row. As I’m sure you can imagine, this is irksome. Granted, one of the times was due to the presence of a screaming child and I couldn’t bring myself to come in, but the other times were due to you closing early. I look forward to going in your comic book store but never get to. You may not care, but you should. Since I can’t be assured that you will be open, and I am a graphic novel and TPB junkie, I go to Amazon and eBay to get my fix. Big deal, you say? It is. In the last month, I’ve spent $500 on graphic novels and TPBs. This could have all been yours, including some TPBs in NM condition that I’m looking to sell. And I would always prefer to patronize a local business as opposed to a national conglomerate, but hey – at least Amazon and eBay are always open when they say they’ll be.

Your friendly neighborhood comic junkie

deserving of a post all its own

i just wanted to take a moment to shout out my own congrats to both the garveys and supons for their beautiful, healthy baby girls, both born july 8. really, i could not be happier for all six of you, especially the part where mommies and babies are healthy and daddies are proud.

Monday, July 10, 2006

not that odd for the two of us

do you know why you could never be batman, johnny?


cause half your utility belt would be full of alka-seltzer.

screw that - you think batman doesn't use some kind of antacid?

heck, no.

why do you think he's always grimacing?

from all the whiskey?

no - batman has an irritable colon!

what?! (cue uncontrollable laughter)

and when jim gordon is standing by the bat-light going "where is he?" batman's late cause he's trying to squeeze one out before fighting the joker.

(still laughing)

really, gabby, i think you should consider the less serious side of your hero. the time catwoman scratched his face - do you know why? it wasn't cause he wouldn't kiss her!

cause he farted?

damn straight! the bat-vents in his batsuit opened up and the stench was horrible! he'd have to vent or else that costume would explode! did you ever read the underground comic - "the time the bat shat?"


that's cause i just made it up.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

let the coveting begin

and if i spent $600 on a pair of boots, what would you think of me? really? what if they looked like this?

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Not Just for Kids Anymore

On a note wholly unrelated to this post, I figured out how to have titles. Turns out, you turn on the option that was mysteriously turned off. Go figure.

It's like being a kid again, only more idyllic. You're reminded of those lazy afternoons lying in the back yard, with nary a care in the world, except that if the dog drools on the pages one more time you may never find out how exactly your heros were able to defeat the evil villians. And I thank god that I'm still enough of a child to lose myself in those brightly hued pages, wonder how exactly each voice would really sound based on the font and color used, and most importantly wonder how the world would really be if these heros existed. Have you ever chuckled to yourself, cause you know they really do? When I was younger I was convinced my dad was Batman. He could do anything and fix anything and figure anything out. And while I know now he's not, he's far too sane to be, I still cherish the memory of seeing him so. So, I'm feeding my obsession with pure abandon and loving every second of it. And like all obsessed and addicted persons, I urge you to join me. Here's what I have so far, and I'll be sure to post once I get more. Oh yes, there will be more...

Batman from the Thirties to the Seventies Hardcover
» BATMAN: HUSH VOL. 1 Softcover
» BATMAN: HUSH VOL. 2 Softcover
» BATMAN: NO MAN'S LAND VOL. 1 Softcover
» BATMAN: NO MAN'S LAND VOL. 2 Softcover
» BATMAN: NO MAN'S LAND VOL. 3 Softcover
» BATMAN: NO MAN'S LAND VOL. 4 Softcover
» BATMAN: NO MAN'S LAND VOL. 5 Softcover
» KINGDOM COME Softcover