Wednesday, November 28, 2007

phat pasta

looking for a job is hard. I mean, I know I hired someone to do all the hard stuff for me, but now I’m getting calls and emails and thank god I’m off, or I’d never be able to manage all of it. and no, I’m not bragging considering that most of the jobs are for things that I’m so not qualified for. you mention that you know how to use Lawson and suddenly you get jobs to be the VP of IT. or, they want you to go to Atlanta and help a company install Lawson. hello – did you actually read my resume? are my initials AL for awesome Lawson-guy, or MS for master SQL-guy? no, they’re GP for got pie? I really like pie. but really, it’s been cool. I talked to a head hunter before I left for c-go who told me that I’m worth more than I thought, but no one will pay me that cause I’m young. oh well. then I accidentally stalked a really nice Canadian (are there any other kind?) in the airport who hooked me up with a lead for Praxair in Chicago. so, all in all, it’s good stuff.

we got thai last night. or rather, I got Japanese from a thai restaurant. two things to say about that – 1) it should be illegal to offer tempura as a delivery item. it arrives mushy and can be described as tempur-yech. 2) japanese noodles are the sumo wrestlers of the noodle world. seriously, those things are like obese spaghetti.

Monday, November 26, 2007

i am the coolest person i know

To Whom it May Concern,

I had the pleasure of speaking with Dan DiDio and Paul Levitz and discussing DC Comics' subscription service during Chicago's Wizard World. While I have noted some improvements, I do believe there are still several ways that the process can be improved, for both DC Comics and customers.

I have a passion for both comics and process improvement. I am equally comfortable in a board room with executives as I am taking talent to lunch. With a background in both business and the arts, I have a unique combination of skills that I am eager to utilize at your organization.

My well-rounded background in human resources includes:
ü Extensive benefits administration, training hundreds hospital-wide and providing employees with detailed information on options and advising on deadlines
ü Strong dedication to employee satisfaction
ü Vendor and external customer communication and relationship building
ü Human Resources Information System integration, operation, and database design
ü Project management and adhering to strict deadlines
ü Employee data analyzing, organizing, and reporting using Lawson, Oracle, and SQL
ü Major event coordination, significantly increasing attendance

The accompanying résumé outlines my potential for making a worthwhile contribution to your organization. As a dedicated human resources leader, I believe it would be mutually beneficial for us to meet. I look forward to the opportunity to speak with you to discuss my qualifications and set up a time to meet for an interview.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Subscription Girl

Sunday, November 25, 2007

i'm a fan of turkey

i have a resume. i have a job posting. these are two great things that go great together; trouble is, they don't leave much room for much else to be included.

thanksgiving was really strange this year. we did it at my mom's. and it was a success. mom didn't get all stressed and flip out, the food was great and all of us had a ton of fun together. i played like 4646196 games of cranium (original and cadoo) and even though i can't hum for shit, i can't get enough of these games. and now there's a cranium wow. i need it.

so, after dinner, plans were made to be insane. they started with a trip to toronto. to get my sister a fake ID. before you go getting all righteous on me, my intent is not to take her out and get her sloppy. i just want to be able to hang out with the girl. go to a bar and throw some darts. play some pool. laugh at all the girls her age who act retarded and wear tanktops in the snow.

anyways, we went to toronto. and were in the city limits for about 12 minutes. literally. all the "souvenier ID" stores were closed at 10:30 PM. lame.

so then we go to the outlet mall. at 1 AM. had to park in the middle of the parking lot. and i don't mean in a spot, i mean where cars normally drive, we parked. but it's ok, all the cool kids were doing it. upon walking into the mall we quickly realized that there were, on average, 1783 people for each car in the lot. there were lines to get into the stores. 3 hour waits to checkout. and 4 people fetal in a corner (i was one of them, the rest of my carpoolers were the other 3). so, we left. i think we were out of the car for about 37 minutes. our original plan was to then go out to an early breakfast and hit the mckinley mall at 5 AM, but we were so traumatized we just went home. quickly.

in summation, shopping after thanksgiving is dumb. if i was in the market for a 42" flat screen HD LCD TV, maybe i'd be willing to deal with the crowds so i could get it at 60% off, but otherwise, there is not a dress or pair of shoes out there that are worth it. seriously.

that being said, i'm off to the outlets now. :)

Monday, November 19, 2007

thug it out

i have timbaland stuck in my head. bear with me.

i had the cutest conversation with my sister tonight. sometimes i forget that she's (technically) an adult and that i can actually have real conversations with her now. it's like one of those super sappy things where she grew up and now i have a friend who i also happen to share genetic characteristics with. i hope i can get that on a pillow. but, in all seriousness, she's a lovely person and i'm flattered that she still comes to me for advice.

i dedicated all of yesterday to looking for a new camera. apparently, the only camera that exists that has all of the features is the one i broke. so i'm paying a stupid amount of money to have it fixed. it's a stupid amount cause i could buy a new camera for the same amount, but i don't like any of those cameras. oh, i'm also buying a proper case for it.

i really am glad i have a very predictable life. i saw a man get thrown out of a car saturday night. and i have to say, i really am thrilled with the knowledge that this will never happen to me, unless the car was on fire and being thrown from a moving vehicle was really the better alternative. i guess you really don't appreciate those things until you realize that not everyone has it as good. bummer for them.

so before i saw the man get decarfenstrated i was hanging out at brick bar. man, does that place ever rock! if i wasn't such a lame, tired loser i could have stayed there all night playing darts and rocking out to billy idol, depeche mode and guns n' roses. and even a little sublime for the fun of it. i need to hang out there more. you can come too.

this just in - did you know soft cell covered "tainted love?" i thought they wrote it! the pussycat dolls also covered it. those sluts - just who the heck do they think they are?!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

it works, bitches

after thorough scientific analysis, i have learned the following things:
  • it is, in fact, really easy to get drunk on white wine
  • i am not a rock star
  • i am also not a gangsta
  • i wish i had more minions

Monday, November 05, 2007


hurray for good friends and long-lasting cell phone batteries. :)

Saturday, November 03, 2007


i still cannot type an apostrophe without blogger wigging out and thinking i am trying to use the "find" fuction.

apparently, you are suppossed to get the job before looking for a new apt. where is the adventure in that? i say, get the apt and then find the job. nothing like some added incentive to really motivate a person. we will see if i can convince my leasing agent of that.

my aunt was laid off yesterday. 18 years with the radio station. i feel incredibly bad for her, but she is handling it better than i am, i think. i did not get really pissed until i heard that jack fm is going commericial (and revenue) free on monday. excuse me, how can you afford to do that when you needed to lay off your promotions director? could you explain that, pretty please?

i've been informed that i need to dress up tonight. normally i love getting gussied up, but to play beer pong? really? i know we're going out afterwards but, still, i don't... hey, what the heck! i just typed a ' and it didn't freak out on me! woo hoo!

so, i have to admit, i'm worried about feist. do you think she was prepared for the level of popularity she has achieved since she became an iPod commercial? i wonder if she thinks it was worth it, or if she misses her simple life from before. and once the novelty of her wears off and the media goes away, will she miss it? will her previous lifestyle seem small and alien or like home again?

Thursday, November 01, 2007

tickled pink

i love how gmail tries to put ads on the side that relate to your conversation. so when i emailed outgrabes to admit my jerkitudeness and apologize for running out on the pizza bill, gmail gave me the option to take a quiz to find out if i was emo. so i took it. and then it asked for my personal info and to take a survey before i got my results, so i politely declined and now i'll never know if i am indeed emo. but i think the fact that i spent most of my time chuckling, guffawing and outright giggling at most of the questions means that i am, most assuredly, not emo. not that there's anything wrong with being emo. i have friends who are emo!

by the way, is there anything sweeter than the rush of discovering that an incredibly sexy construction worker is flirting with you? oh, wait, there is. it's called "two of them."