- i can't eat before 9
- i should just eat at 6 cause it's still hot at 10
- i want to shave my head to release the heat
- i'm considering putting my computer and fridge in the bedroom, aka - the only room with a/c
- i leave the a/c on when i leave the bedroom in the hopes that when i return to the bedroom it will finally be not-hot
- talking about the weather isn't small talk, it's the ONLY talk
- i love going to work and having to turn the heater on under my desk it's so cold in my cube
- i want to stay at work until 9 so i don't have to walk home in the heat, but then i refer to number 2
- my fridge is sweating and oppossed to feeling grossed out or worried by that, i just think, "dude, i so know how you're feeling right now"
- it's too hot to do pilates is not just an excuse, it's really true
Monday, July 31, 2006
it's so hot out...
please tell me it's not me...
i've recently developed a phobia. i'll call it stinkymephobia because i'm constantly terrified that i smell bad. logically, i know that i can't smell that bad. if i did, one of my friends would have told me by now, right? or at least stopped calling. right?! none the less, i had a dream the other night where i was at haley's house helping her paint and she told me i smelled bad. and i said, "well, i've been outside painting all day..." "i meant when you first got here." "oh." now, i don't think haley would ever be that blunt and my dreams have been kinda whack lately (i was dress shopping with amy augustine - remember her? - in a dream the night before), but really, i need to get over this. that, or buy some stock in secret.
also, i had jury duty today. it lasted for 1 hour and 43 minutes. truth be told, i feel kinda jipped. i never even got to tell a proposterous story to a lawyer to get out of it. the defendant settled and all of us got to leave. and while i was treated to a very productive day at work, i somehow feel like i got scammed and scammed the city in the process. ah well. we'll see what happens in 8 years...
also, i had jury duty today. it lasted for 1 hour and 43 minutes. truth be told, i feel kinda jipped. i never even got to tell a proposterous story to a lawyer to get out of it. the defendant settled and all of us got to leave. and while i was treated to a very productive day at work, i somehow feel like i got scammed and scammed the city in the process. ah well. we'll see what happens in 8 years...
Sunday, July 30, 2006
so, "lady in the water," is really, really good. really. maybe the reason it's so good is that it makes you feel like a little kid again. all those times when you thought that something incredibly magical was happening to you, it really was. when i was a little kid i used to play in the forest behind my grandparents' house and one time i could have sworn i was being teased by a wood nymph. they giggle, just like the wind but not quite - cause the wind does not blow in just one tiny spot. they look like the shadow of a tree, only more like a tree and less like a shadow, and they move really fast. and the cool thing, my mom totally believed me. she said i was a very lucky girl because not everyone gets to see them. i didn't even totally believe it myself at the time, but after seeing "lady in the water," i totally do.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
this is hard work
we all know i have a problem. and like most problems, it's expensive. especially when you don't know what you're getting yourself in to.
it all started when i was a little girl. i learned about batman. i'm not sure how i learned about him, but i did. and i LOVED him. still do. and then i found out about comic books and always wanted them - boys said they had so much fun getting them! - but i didn't know. but lo and behold, there's a comic book shop in hamburg! so my parents took me one day and i went in and had one of the most scarring experiences of my young life. the huge, mean man asked me which batman comic i wanted. there's more than one? yeah - come back when you know what you want. the subtext was, i hate girls. i was sure of it. for christmas that year my parents got me a subscription to batman comics, but it just wasn't the same. i was heartbroken. so while i still loved my dark knight, i survived on movies and animated series, and it kept me going for many years. and when i was 16 my parents bought me nothing but batman toys for christmas - that seriously rocked.
and then, i discovered amazon.com. and TPBS & graphic novels. and credit cards. well, really, i knew about credit cards a long time ago, but you know what i mean. and you know what, this is a freakin' complicated hobby! you would think dc.com would list all of their TPBs on their site, but they don't. and jesus christ, DC is apparently incapable of having a story arc without having it crossover between at least 3 different series. so you buy the TPB, and it's all good, right? NO! you can't survive on TPBs alone, because then when you try to pick up the next story arc there will be things you missed because they didn't make it into a TPB and you're lost. it sucks. so buy just all back issues you say, yeah, good freaking luck. and this infinite crisis thing is gonna kill me. like, what is it all about and why do i have to wait until 9/20 to buy it? and why does batman alone have 3 different story lines and which one is which and how the heck do they fit chronologically?!?!
ahem.
i'm a sane and rational person. all i really want is the whole story. and for nightwing and oracle to get back together. is that truly so much? it's just, ebay is expensive, the comic shop next door closed officially today and i'm scared that the one on elmwood is home to another mean, huge man. "come back when you know what you want, girl."
it all started when i was a little girl. i learned about batman. i'm not sure how i learned about him, but i did. and i LOVED him. still do. and then i found out about comic books and always wanted them - boys said they had so much fun getting them! - but i didn't know. but lo and behold, there's a comic book shop in hamburg! so my parents took me one day and i went in and had one of the most scarring experiences of my young life. the huge, mean man asked me which batman comic i wanted. there's more than one? yeah - come back when you know what you want. the subtext was, i hate girls. i was sure of it. for christmas that year my parents got me a subscription to batman comics, but it just wasn't the same. i was heartbroken. so while i still loved my dark knight, i survived on movies and animated series, and it kept me going for many years. and when i was 16 my parents bought me nothing but batman toys for christmas - that seriously rocked.
and then, i discovered amazon.com. and TPBS & graphic novels. and credit cards. well, really, i knew about credit cards a long time ago, but you know what i mean. and you know what, this is a freakin' complicated hobby! you would think dc.com would list all of their TPBs on their site, but they don't. and jesus christ, DC is apparently incapable of having a story arc without having it crossover between at least 3 different series. so you buy the TPB, and it's all good, right? NO! you can't survive on TPBs alone, because then when you try to pick up the next story arc there will be things you missed because they didn't make it into a TPB and you're lost. it sucks. so buy just all back issues you say, yeah, good freaking luck. and this infinite crisis thing is gonna kill me. like, what is it all about and why do i have to wait until 9/20 to buy it? and why does batman alone have 3 different story lines and which one is which and how the heck do they fit chronologically?!?!
ahem.
i'm a sane and rational person. all i really want is the whole story. and for nightwing and oracle to get back together. is that truly so much? it's just, ebay is expensive, the comic shop next door closed officially today and i'm scared that the one on elmwood is home to another mean, huge man. "come back when you know what you want, girl."
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
work humor
boss: so, what should i tell acctg. so they get off our backs?
me: tell them... if there was a problem - snicker
boss: what? yo, you solved it?
me: tell them... if there was a problem - snicker
boss: what? yo, you solved it?
Saturday, July 15, 2006
vacation montage
7/10 - i went to work. clearly, i need a lesson on how vacation works. and i got one, when johnny and i went to cozumel and got ripped on margaritas. i was a wuss to get ripped on only a regular 16 oz one, but i would never attempt to drink the 46 oz johnny did. mega is right...
7/11 - darth died. for those of you who somehow have missed this aspect of my life - i had a giant black angel fish i named darth. he used to have a twin named anakin until he ate him and everything else in the tank. i had him for five years. for one of those years he lived in a bucket in the kitchen sink after the tank broke. he survived a lobster, ick (the disease, not a comment on the lobster) and the cat. i tried to give him a "burial at sea," but alas, his body was too might to fit through the passage way to fishy heaven. so instead i tossed him in the kitchen garbage can and asked johnny to take it out. and then we went and bought more fishies and they're cute and none of them have eaten each other yet. bonus. this day also featured drinking at 1pm and going to see yo la tengo, but that's best summed up here. i keep waiting for the shrimp we bought to clean their eyeballs.
7/12 - i went to the salon and then kicked ass at kickboxing. i got to show off my moves on...
7/13 - perhaps, one of the most fun days. and by days i mean nights. went to 44, and then two lovely ladies and myself tried to find roxy's, but instead got lost, broke a flip-flop, fixed said flip-flop, drunk dialed a husband, and showed up just in time to determine that it is of the utmost necessity that we wear fedoras and become burlesque dancers. but i already knew that. and then, the unthinkable happened. we went to chippewa. we ran into chad (shaun-lite) and i asked him if he was scared of us. he said, "no, i'm one of the most confident people you'll ever meet." eww. and then jess said, and i kid you not, "you're a shitty waitress." did you get that? not wait-er, wait-ress. oh god, hilarity ensued.
7/14 - happy birthday greg and happy independence your crazy, blood thirsty, frogs. i went to babies r us to buy baby shower presents and decided that i can never have kids. i'd spend too much money on crib bedding sets. oh, and "40 year old virgin" is actually a very funny movie.
7/15 - i just tried to go to the comic book store around the corner from me to sell some truly terrible graphic novels. turns out, i hate elseworlds. at least the ones i currently own. and i was thwarted in my attempts, so i put the following letter in their mailbox.
7/11 - darth died. for those of you who somehow have missed this aspect of my life - i had a giant black angel fish i named darth. he used to have a twin named anakin until he ate him and everything else in the tank. i had him for five years. for one of those years he lived in a bucket in the kitchen sink after the tank broke. he survived a lobster, ick (the disease, not a comment on the lobster) and the cat. i tried to give him a "burial at sea," but alas, his body was too might to fit through the passage way to fishy heaven. so instead i tossed him in the kitchen garbage can and asked johnny to take it out. and then we went and bought more fishies and they're cute and none of them have eaten each other yet. bonus. this day also featured drinking at 1pm and going to see yo la tengo, but that's best summed up here. i keep waiting for the shrimp we bought to clean their eyeballs.
7/12 - i went to the salon and then kicked ass at kickboxing. i got to show off my moves on...
7/13 - perhaps, one of the most fun days. and by days i mean nights. went to 44, and then two lovely ladies and myself tried to find roxy's, but instead got lost, broke a flip-flop, fixed said flip-flop, drunk dialed a husband, and showed up just in time to determine that it is of the utmost necessity that we wear fedoras and become burlesque dancers. but i already knew that. and then, the unthinkable happened. we went to chippewa. we ran into chad (shaun-lite) and i asked him if he was scared of us. he said, "no, i'm one of the most confident people you'll ever meet." eww. and then jess said, and i kid you not, "you're a shitty waitress." did you get that? not wait-er, wait-ress. oh god, hilarity ensued.
7/14 - happy birthday greg and happy independence your crazy, blood thirsty, frogs. i went to babies r us to buy baby shower presents and decided that i can never have kids. i'd spend too much money on crib bedding sets. oh, and "40 year old virgin" is actually a very funny movie.
7/15 - i just tried to go to the comic book store around the corner from me to sell some truly terrible graphic novels. turns out, i hate elseworlds. at least the ones i currently own. and i was thwarted in my attempts, so i put the following letter in their mailbox.
Dear Sir(s),
Today, I attempted to visit your comic book store, and was unsuccessful for the fourth time in a row. As I’m sure you can imagine, this is irksome. Granted, one of the times was due to the presence of a screaming child and I couldn’t bring myself to come in, but the other times were due to you closing early. I look forward to going in your comic book store but never get to. You may not care, but you should. Since I can’t be assured that you will be open, and I am a graphic novel and TPB junkie, I go to Amazon and eBay to get my fix. Big deal, you say? It is. In the last month, I’ve spent $500 on graphic novels and TPBs. This could have all been yours, including some TPBs in NM condition that I’m looking to sell. And I would always prefer to patronize a local business as opposed to a national conglomerate, but hey – at least Amazon and eBay are always open when they say they’ll be.
Sincerely,
Your friendly neighborhood comic junkie
deserving of a post all its own
i just wanted to take a moment to shout out my own congrats to both the garveys and supons for their beautiful, healthy baby girls, both born july 8. really, i could not be happier for all six of you, especially the part where mommies and babies are healthy and daddies are proud.
Monday, July 10, 2006
not that odd for the two of us
do you know why you could never be batman, johnny?
why?
cause half your utility belt would be full of alka-seltzer.
screw that - you think batman doesn't use some kind of antacid?
heck, no.
why do you think he's always grimacing?
from all the whiskey?
no - batman has an irritable colon!
what?! (cue uncontrollable laughter)
and when jim gordon is standing by the bat-light going "where is he?" batman's late cause he's trying to squeeze one out before fighting the joker.
(still laughing)
really, gabby, i think you should consider the less serious side of your hero. the time catwoman scratched his face - do you know why? it wasn't cause he wouldn't kiss her!
cause he farted?
damn straight! the bat-vents in his batsuit opened up and the stench was horrible! he'd have to vent or else that costume would explode! did you ever read the underground comic - "the time the bat shat?"
no...
that's cause i just made it up.
why?
cause half your utility belt would be full of alka-seltzer.
screw that - you think batman doesn't use some kind of antacid?
heck, no.
why do you think he's always grimacing?
from all the whiskey?
no - batman has an irritable colon!
what?! (cue uncontrollable laughter)
and when jim gordon is standing by the bat-light going "where is he?" batman's late cause he's trying to squeeze one out before fighting the joker.
(still laughing)
really, gabby, i think you should consider the less serious side of your hero. the time catwoman scratched his face - do you know why? it wasn't cause he wouldn't kiss her!
cause he farted?
damn straight! the bat-vents in his batsuit opened up and the stench was horrible! he'd have to vent or else that costume would explode! did you ever read the underground comic - "the time the bat shat?"
no...
that's cause i just made it up.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
let the coveting begin
and if i spent $600 on a pair of boots, what would you think of me? really? what if they looked like this?
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Not Just for Kids Anymore
On a note wholly unrelated to this post, I figured out how to have titles. Turns out, you turn on the option that was mysteriously turned off. Go figure.
It's like being a kid again, only more idyllic. You're reminded of those lazy afternoons lying in the back yard, with nary a care in the world, except that if the dog drools on the pages one more time you may never find out how exactly your heros were able to defeat the evil villians. And I thank god that I'm still enough of a child to lose myself in those brightly hued pages, wonder how exactly each voice would really sound based on the font and color used, and most importantly wonder how the world would really be if these heros existed. Have you ever chuckled to yourself, cause you know they really do? When I was younger I was convinced my dad was Batman. He could do anything and fix anything and figure anything out. And while I know now he's not, he's far too sane to be, I still cherish the memory of seeing him so. So, I'm feeding my obsession with pure abandon and loving every second of it. And like all obsessed and addicted persons, I urge you to join me. Here's what I have so far, and I'll be sure to post once I get more. Oh yes, there will be more...
Batman from the Thirties to the Seventies Hardcover
It's like being a kid again, only more idyllic. You're reminded of those lazy afternoons lying in the back yard, with nary a care in the world, except that if the dog drools on the pages one more time you may never find out how exactly your heros were able to defeat the evil villians. And I thank god that I'm still enough of a child to lose myself in those brightly hued pages, wonder how exactly each voice would really sound based on the font and color used, and most importantly wonder how the world would really be if these heros existed. Have you ever chuckled to yourself, cause you know they really do? When I was younger I was convinced my dad was Batman. He could do anything and fix anything and figure anything out. And while I know now he's not, he's far too sane to be, I still cherish the memory of seeing him so. So, I'm feeding my obsession with pure abandon and loving every second of it. And like all obsessed and addicted persons, I urge you to join me. Here's what I have so far, and I'll be sure to post once I get more. Oh yes, there will be more...
Batman from the Thirties to the Seventies Hardcover
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