do you know why you could never be batman, johnny?
why?
cause half your utility belt would be full of alka-seltzer.
screw that - you think batman doesn't use some kind of antacid?
heck, no.
why do you think he's always grimacing?
from all the whiskey?
no - batman has an irritable colon!
what?! (cue uncontrollable laughter)
and when jim gordon is standing by the bat-light going "where is he?" batman's late cause he's trying to squeeze one out before fighting the joker.
(still laughing)
really, gabby, i think you should consider the less serious side of your hero. the time catwoman scratched his face - do you know why? it wasn't cause he wouldn't kiss her!
cause he farted?
damn straight! the bat-vents in his batsuit opened up and the stench was horrible! he'd have to vent or else that costume would explode! did you ever read the underground comic - "the time the bat shat?"
no...
that's cause i just made it up.
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