just like i said i would

i'm not usually one for bragging, but i'm willing to make an exception. it just so happens that my life is so totally better than yours. oh sure, i'm exhausted from being fabulous all the time and i don't have a significant other, but seeing as how the thought of dating someone makes me all queasy and ickly feeling i'm actually going to count that as a check on the plus side. no, really, it's so bad that the second a a cutie starts to flirt with me i freak out and start looking for the quickest exit. unless they're adorable 22-year-old hang-gliding instructors in training. and hang-gliding, btw, is amazing. it's like being a bird. really, you should try it. especially if you play rock-paper-scissors first with your new friend to see who gets to ride tandem with the very attractive instructor and win. and then go out drinking with everyone that night, except that you and your new friend started drinking like, 7 hours ago because it was too windy to fly and there's nothing else to do in central illinois. so yeah, when we got to the bar, i have to admit that i was a little disappointed that it didn't have more local flavor. you know, people missing teeth. this place was really nice, but once they started playing kid rock, i knew i was in the right place. oh, one other way to know you're in the right place. when you order 7 top shelf drinks and the total is $21.50. $21.50. freaking amazing. so, really, what i'm saying, is that you should go hang-gliding with someone attractive while you're buzzed. yeah, you definitely should try that.

ok, so maybe my life isn't totally better than yours, but it sure is totally better than when i first moved here and had to gimp around and spend all my time staring at my cat. man, what a hoot. if i haven't mentioned it lately, i am super glad i moved here. but as much as i make new friends here, i still miss all of you. i have no doubt that i'll be back soon so we can all be fabulous together. doesn't that just sound smashing?

and why am i using only the corniest of adjectives?

my adventures, let me share them with you

i left work today at 5:17 PM today. i figured that since i show up late, i should probably leave late. that's an HR trick for all of you. i got to the corner of state and madison around 5:25 and proceeded to wait for the 147 bus. i like taking the bus home cause then you get to look at the lake and get all relaxed and happy before you open the door to a whiny cat. but the bus didn't show up! lots of other buses did, but they were all inferior in both route number and destination. after 20 minutes of waiting (instead of the usual 20 nanosecnds) i figured i had better take the unscenic train. but the train was closed! no one could take it! and then i saw a 147 go by but it was so packed with people they wouldn't let anyone on.

so i took a 151. superior in route number but so much slower. no biggie, it was a nice day, and it'll take me to my doorstep like the 147. or will it? this one decided to stop at belmont with no warning. i know there was no warning and not a warning that i missed cause i was rocking out cause everyone else looked confused. so i figured i'd walk up to broadway and catch the 36. but first i had some chipolte. yummy.

i went outside to catch the 36 and ran into my college roommate's sister's roommate! how random! so we both get on the 36 and make small and medium sized talk and then she gets off cause she lives more south than me and i'm chillng and not rocking out when the driver says that this bus will stop at foster. what? it's suppossed to go to my doorstep, like it always does!

so i got off at wilson and took the red line the rest of the way home.

and at what time did i finally see my extra whiny kitty? 8:14. yep, it took me almost 3 hours to get home today. luckily, it was filled with entertaining folk that were only scary 60% of the time.

constructive criticism

i joined weight watchers. i've been feeling pretty dumpy about the fact that i look dumpy for quite some time so i decided to do something about it. especially when the fatty-fatmore (it's still ok to make fun of mountains of smelly flesh, right?) was pissed when i sat next to her on the bus. seriously, this snorting-evil-eye-giving beeotch was so huge she hasn't been able to close her legs since before monica lewinsky opened hers. and she's giving me grief?! that definitely means it's time for me to change something. so, next time you see me, be sure to comment on how awesome i look. and then give me back all the clothes i gave you.

in other news, i really like my job. it's very different from that other job i had in that this job requires me to go to parties i didn't plan at the four seasons (yummilicious! - so good it deserved a new word) and work on spreadsheets all day and not talk to anyone i don't want to. plus, it's in chicago, which is nice, because chicago is swell. things with danielle are going really well (watch me as i talk about my platonic friend like she's a boy+friend). although i was really bummed when she convinced me that jin is in fact dead and did not make it off the boat and is now hiding in korea for some indeterminate reason. we're going to have to work on her supporting my alternate realities. i think i finally broke her of her christian bale crush. i do not share my hopeless crushes.

speaking of crushes, james marsden is really cute! i couldn't respect him as a hottie before because he always played those lame "sure, you can flirt with my wife" guys, but in 27 dresses he was a little prick and i loved him for it! i hope i can find a sarcastic jerk someday who gives props to elton john and cries at weddings. also, the untucked button-down with jacket and jeans/baggy khakis is the hottest look for any guy, ever. before a guy leaves the house, in my opinion, he should stand in front of a mirror holding a puppy. if he looks like he belongs on the cover of j.crew, he's good to go. if not, call me. we can work it out.

super freak

spotted on the L:

girl wearing a green hoodie, clutching a coach tote trimmed in green, propping her legs up on a polka-dot green suitcase while listening to a green iPod.



...at least my shoes were orange.