i'm not usually one for bragging, but i'm willing to make an exception. it just so happens that my life is so totally better than yours. oh sure, i'm exhausted from being fabulous all the time and i don't have a significant other, but seeing as how the thought of dating someone makes me all queasy and ickly feeling i'm actually going to count that as a check on the plus side. no, really, it's so bad that the second a a cutie starts to flirt with me i freak out and start looking for the quickest exit. unless they're adorable 22-year-old hang-gliding instructors in training. and hang-gliding, btw, is amazing. it's like being a bird. really, you should try it. especially if you play rock-paper-scissors first with your new friend to see who gets to ride tandem with the very attractive instructor and win. and then go out drinking with everyone that night, except that you and your new friend started drinking like, 7 hours ago because it was too windy to fly and there's nothing else to do in central illinois. so yeah, when we got to the bar, i have to admit that i was a little disappointed that it didn't have more local flavor. you know, people missing teeth. this place was really nice, but once they started playing kid rock, i knew i was in the right place. oh, one other way to know you're in the right place. when you order 7 top shelf drinks and the total is $21.50. $21.50. freaking amazing. so, really, what i'm saying, is that you should go hang-gliding with someone attractive while you're buzzed. yeah, you definitely should try that.
ok, so maybe my life isn't totally better than yours, but it sure is totally better than when i first moved here and had to gimp around and spend all my time staring at my cat. man, what a hoot. if i haven't mentioned it lately, i am super glad i moved here. but as much as i make new friends here, i still miss all of you. i have no doubt that i'll be back soon so we can all be fabulous together. doesn't that just sound smashing?
and why am i using only the corniest of adjectives?
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