getting both feet wet.

i could've gone out tonight. i thought about it. considered it. picked out what i was going to wear and contemplated which lipstick would best match the shirt and make me look darling at the same time.

but, as you can probably tell, i decided against it.

i didn't feel like going to a bar or club or lounge and talking about things that don't matter while drinking someone else's idea of a good martini. (you want to know what sucks about chicago - no one knows how to make a good drink and they all make up for it by charging twice as much. yeah, that logic doesn't make sense to me either.)

instead, i decided to sit and think about what i really want to do. not tonight, but all those other nights in the future. and the days too. i've been looking for other jobs but nothing really interests me. i feel like it would just be a case of same crap bigger paycheck, or, if i'm really lucky, bigger crap same paycheck.

so, after applying to all those jobs that hold no interest for me (and let me tell you, my lack of interest is also clearly showing in my declining interview skills. i have no idea how desperate one suitor must have been to bring me back for a second helping) i did some research and finally did what i've wanted to do for years, but was always just too afraid.

i applied to join the peace corps.