i've been watching a lot of hbo on demand lately. maybe it's because i like holding the remote and saying "i demand you!" maybe it's because i'm just to lazy to fold laundry instead. either way, here are the things i've learned.

1. sometimes you have to take your clothes off to get the good roles. natalie portman as alice in "closer" plays one of the most complex and intriguing characters i've ever seen, and she does it superbly. but she does some of her best work in a g-string. and no, i don't mean it like that.
   
2. movies brought to you by the EPA will make you hate the EPA, even if you liked them before hand. "the day after tomorrow" sucks. there's no other way to say it. it actually has science in it. of course, i have no idea if the science is true or not, but i bought it. the problem is that you're treated like an idiot the whole time. first of all, everyone knows that global warming can cause extreme weather shifts, including extreme cold. you did not have to spend 45 minutes explaining that to me with bad special effects. secondly, wolves are not violent killers, unless they're rabid or starving, which these wolves were not. thirdly, jake gyllenhall is only cute when sheepishly smiling, so, he should not be put in a corner pouting - EVER!
3. you can't say "spanglish" without smiling. in high school french we called in franglais (french + anglais which is french for english) and my cousin matt and i spoke a lot of franglais in france. oddly enough, the french thought it was adorable and then an adorable boy offered to take me out to dinner but i said no because i was too scared to go out with a strange boy.

in other related tv news, there's this show called "deal or no deal." now, from what i can tell through my vino haze, the point of this show is that 26 chicks in matching dresses come on stage holding suitcases. the contestant picks one and keeps it. he then tells chicks to open other cases which hold various amounts of money in them. sometimes the bank calls and offers to buy back your suitcase. the point is - NOTHING ever happens. but! you drink some wine and suddenly you're screaming "pick number 8 - 8 is great! why won't you pick 8 you jackass?!"

in summation - folding laundry is yucky. hbo on demand is good. hbo on wine is better.