i almost pulled the plug on the whole thing friday morning. seriously. the ratio of "i'm so excited!" to "i can't stop sobbing" has drastically shifted in the other direction. i had to wash my face three times before i could leave for work because i kept finding mascara on my chin. i think i'm dehydrated. it broke my heart last night when my sister just wouldn't let me go. she wants to come visit me a week after i move. i might keep her. she said that'd be fine. her boyfriend looked sad 'til i said he could come too.
i know i can always come back. and i think that's the only thing keeping me sane. i promised myself i would stay in chicago until august. i'm sure it'll be great and august will come and go, but for now, i'm absolutely terrified. it took me 28 years to make friends with all of you and the idea of having to start over, well, i don't like it.
so, yeah, please don't roll your eyes too much when i make my gajillionth trip to the bathroom to blow my nose during my bon voyage party. i'd say something cute about "it's my party and i'll cry if i want to" but then you'd get that song stuck in your head and i wouldn't want to do that to you. but, on the plus side, my eyes turn green and my lips get all angelina jolie-y when i cry, so that could be good for pictures, right?
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